“They tried to kill me!” the hat screamed in the Presidential Beast as he and Donald and the hair drove back to the White House.
“He tried to kill all three of us,” the hair said. His voice was shaky and tired.
“Butler, the golf course, and now this shit!”
“It took a while to get that ear-blood out of me,” the hair said, quaking with rage.
“The Secret Service didn’t even kill him. We need to clean house,” the hat said.
“They should have blown his spine out his asshole,” the hair muttered.
The hat scrolled through his phone. “The NPR bootlickers are already saying it was staged.”
“Let’s shoot those fucks too,” the hair said.
“Whoa, you are really pissed, aren’t you?”
“If Donald dies, you can just become someone else’s hat. If he dies, I die. We have a symbiotic relationship.”
“I thought you were just gay for each other,” the hat said.
“Don’t deflect with humor.”
“Could you maybe jump to Barron? The kid has great hair.”
“That’s not how it works.”
Donald made another call, one where he uh-huhed and murmured agreement.
“The DNC assholes are already deploying their flying monkeys in the press,” the hat said, dropping his phone in disgust.
“They’ll do their ‘we have to tone down the rhetoric’ song and dance,” the hair said bitterly.
“Fuck that,” the hat said. “We turn up the rhetoric.”
The hair sighed one of his often sighs.
“We should call for the capture and execution of Hasan Piker!” the hat said.
“He’ll die of some commie strain of AIDS soon, picked up in a Chinese child brothel.”
“We could shock him like his dog…”
“I know you are trying to cheer me up,” the hair said, “but I just really want to go to bed.”
“Can we at least deport Piker?” the hat asked.
“Anchor baby, we are stuck with him,” the hair said.
“He’s a great argument for ending Birthright Citizenship.”
The hair watched the city roll by outside the car window and didn’t bother to reply.
From dedthread: Tastykakes are not awful.
From the live post:
“They should have blown his spine out his asshole,” the hair muttered.
That’s a hell of a throat fuck.
Italian “desserts” including cannoli, and those things they call “cookies” are remarkably awful… as desserts. As a side dish for your coffee they’re pretty good. I’m guessing the savages from that place just don’t have the same concept of “dessert” as civilized folk do.
Also, there’s a two-diner chain that spreads cannoli filling on their french toast and tops it with grated chocolate, and it’s delicious.
https://www.theuglyrooster.com/
there’s a two-diner chain that spreads cannoli filling on their french toast and tops it with grated chocolate, and it’s delicious.
I’d give that a try.
On Italian desserts…. tiramisu is not awful.
Gelato, Nutella, affogato…
Like this?
https://youtube.com/shorts/Mhr9NjQHzVU
Apropos
So sad about Lois Lane.
Dang it DEG beat me to it.
“The DNC assholes are already deploying their flying monkeys in the press,” the hat said, dropping his phone in disgust.
Trump has changed much of this. He has brought a grim hostility to the jobs of doing the public’s work and reporting on those who do the public’s work. He has personally targeted journalists with taunts and insults.
To be sure, that doesn’t justify shooting at him in a crowded room. Innocent bystanders might be injured.
In other words, he deserves what he gets. Never change, The Guardian.
You aren’t a celebrity, Robert. No one gives a fuck about you.
I tapped out here. There’s nothing intelligent or insightful. Let me guess – asshole handwaves away the role of the elites in spurring the little foot soldiers into engaging in violence while lamenting the traditional ruling class’s loss of power.
New ruling class doesn’t have to be anything worth a damn for me to direct appropriate scorn at a court eunuch like Reich.
“We should call for the capture and execution of Hasan Piker!” the hat said.
Pretty please?
Piker isn’t even worth scorn. Anyone who has a functioning brain recognizes he’s what the kids call a lol-cow and a fraud.
“We could shock him like his dog…”
“I know you are trying to cheer me up,” the hair said, “but I just really want to go to bed.”
Aww, so wholesome!
There is a close relationship between the Trump era and violence – not just the attempts on his life but also the violence his administration has unleashed on the world, the violence his ICE and border patrol agents have caused inside America, the violence he has incited among his followers. (A few of Saturday night’s guests at the correspondents’ dinner were in Congress on 6 January 2021 when Trump’s supporters attacked the US Capitol.)
The violence of the Trump administration has resulted in thousands of deaths and injuries. That is no justification for Saturday night’s attack, of course, but it is part of what he has wrought in America. He has changed the script in Washington. He has ushered in an America that is more divided, distrustful and hostile; an America where political opponents are enemies to be overcome and destroyed instead of debated and challenged at the ballot box.
Poor sad Robert Reich. Trump has blown his brain to smithereens.
Can an “era” have a “relationship? “
The left is sober and reasonable, it’s Trump who forces even the most calm people into violence. They just can’t help it.
This is what I mean when I say you cannot have a rational argument with these people. They are batshit insane and immune to any kind of ability to reason.
Agree.
Their only response is “Trump.” There is no rationality there. It’s all feelz.
Exactly. They start with the assumption that Trump causes every bad thing, and reason backwards from there.
You can take this well beyond Trump.
It was noted early on in the Obama years that a new class of retards was coming up. Victimhood is currency to these people. Moral outrage replaces any attempt at rational reasoning. You can lie and distort reality to be whatever the hell you say it is and then attack anyone who dares point out the dishonesty as the enemy for not also engaging in mindless and dishonest outrage.
From the feminists to the antifa types to the race hustlers. Facts don’t matter. Trump is the obvious backlash to this nonsense and the relatively mundane wing of the movement. Genuine anti-Semitism and racism are becoming almost mainstream again and almost overtaking MAGA itself.
White identity politics were in their infancy when Trump capitalized on it. What comes next is going to be far, far worse for these people.
It was noted early on in the Obama years that a new class of retards was coming up. Victimhood is currency to these people.
Yes.
I think it was tarran way back in the before time on H&R who used “cry bullies” to describe them.
We are reaping what they have sown.
“cry bullies” and release the dopes of war
Facts don’t matter. Trump is the obvious backlash
Which is ironic as Trump is as fact challenged as any politician in all of DC.
Could we get Saudi Arabia to honor him with some award (advancing the cause of Palestine or something?) and have him accidentally fall into a bunch of bone saws between the presentation and the reception?
The downside to free speech is Hasan Piker. He’s far more offensive than Trump has ever been, and, as noted by The Hair, we’re fucking stuck with him because of birthright citizenship (which is also a good argument for placing some form of value on American citizenship by ending it as it’s currently practiced), and he knows his particular grift has no value anywhere else. The guy is a stain. The best part of him dripped down his mama’s taint when his fat fuck of a dad was done.
There is currently no value whatsoever to “citizenship”. There is nothing I can do as a citizen that an illegal can’t do or at least lie cheat and steal in order to do and with no questions asked. Hell, in many ways citizens are disadvantaged. I don’t know how much longer the country can withstand it. The printing presses are covering for much of it but I sense that a lot of people are getting sick of it.
There is currently no value whatsoever to “citizenship”. There is nothing I can do as a citizen that an illegal can’t do or at least lie cheat and steal in order to do and with no questions asked. Hell, in many ways citizens are disadvantaged.
Anarcho-tyranny
Yes. Being a citizen used to mean something positive.
Now it just means you go to jail of you don’t pay your taxes.
CA Prop 187 haz a sad.
I wonder what twisted logic they used to arrive at that conclusion.
But yeah, the citizens can get fucked – even back in 1994.
I voted for 187. Was shocked when a Federal Judge just tossed it out for no real reason.
I’ve always thought the best historical analog for Medhi Hasan and Piker is Lord Haw-Haw, so a deliberate demoralization and anti-American campaign.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_Haw-Haw
Although, there is no reason that we can’t strip Medhi Hasan of his citizenship (like Omar, he repeatedly lied on his citizenship application.)
And also jail for life whoever let him naturalize in the first place.
Somebody made an LLM, but only trained it with texts from 1930 and earlier.
https://talkie-lm.com/chat
Has anyone unlocked Hitler mode?
Huh. I don’t remember this history.
His commie activities have been largely wiped from history. I checked and you won’t find it at Wikipedia for example.
Heavens to Betsy.
Well, they apparently were not succinct.
In Talkie’s favor, Gerrit Smith at least existed and was an abolitionist
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerrit_Smith
We also have shinier eyes.
I thought that was the monocle.
You dug your hole, now lie in it
The U.S. is being “humiliated” by the Iranian regime, Germany’s chancellor has said, as disquiet among European leaders over a prolonged conflict in the Middle East gradually intensifies.
——-
The comments were unexpected, but at least partially reflect frustration that the Iran conflict is undermining Merz’s government’s efforts to bolster Germany’s flagging economy.
It’s all Trump’s fault. He forced you to cut off your domestic energy supplies.
They destroyed themselves. Trump happened by, humped the corpse a few times, and wandered off.
cultural and economic suicide
On topic…
US to issue passports featuring Trump’s picture to commemorate America’s 250th anniversary
https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/28/politics/us-trump-passport
I’ve thought him putting his image on FedGov stuff was a nice dig at this was bad road to be going down and making a point. Now this OTH…
Ugh ridiculous.
Being a tacky asshole is not a virtue, Donald.
It’s a threat. Shoot at me again, I’ll put my face in more places you won’t like.
I just hope he is wearing The Hat in the picture.
Perfect Guardian headline.
“US supreme court ‘demolishes’ Voting Rights Act, gutting provision that prevented racial discrimination”
Or
“USSC demolishes racial gerrymandering”
Take your pick.
If only.
The first one is a bald-faced lie so perfect fit for The Guardian.
Kudos for cramming so many loaded words into one headline.
“I know you are trying to cheer me up,”
The pathos! [chef’s kiss]
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/supreme-court-louisiana-congressional-map-voting-rights-act/
“In short, Section 2 imposes liability only when the evidence supports a strong inference that the State intentionally drew its districts to afford minority voters less opportunity because of their race,” he wrote. “Not only does this interpretation follow from the plain text of Section 2, but it is consistent with the limited authority that the Fifteenth Amendment confers.”
Justice Elena Kagan, joined by Justices Sonia Sotomayor and Ketanji Brown Jackson, wrote in her dissent that the majority “eviscerates” Section 2. She warned that as a result of the Supreme Court’s decision, the law is “all but dead-letter.”
Dead-dead would be better. But progress is progress.
Kagan said that under the conservative majority’s new test, plaintiffs challenging a redistricting plan must show that legislators acted with a racially discriminatory motive, which she said is “well-nigh impossible.”
What a concept. Discrimination requires actual discrimination.
Is it “well-nigh impossible” when the Democrats explicitly say they are being racially discriminatory?!
Oh I get it. Only some races can be discriminated against. I will go in the corner now.
Come on SCOTUS. Strike down disparate impact generally.
The real beauty of where we were before was packing a district with minorities was as bad as cracking them and spreading them amongst districts.
The standard? What was your INTENT. OK, so now INTENT must be shown! OH FUCK NO, not THAT!!!!
“Electing more Democrats” bad.
“Maximizing the number of ‘minority’ districts with the obvious goal of electing more Democrats” good.
It’s racist to require Black people to be represented by a non-Black person! And racism is illegal under the 14th amendment!
I always stay away from Rachel Maddow’s show, but I’m going to especially stay away from it this week.
CNN: New court filing details timeline and suspect’s extensive arsenal in White House Correspondents’ Dinner shooting
Extensive. Arsenal.
Didn’t he just have a shotgun, a pistol, and a couple of knives?
If that’s an arsenal my gun locker would make them faint dead away.
https://nypost.com/2026/04/29/us-news/whcd-suspect-cole-allen-took-smirking-selfie-while-armed-to-the-teeth-before-attack-on-ballroom-docs/
Correct. Also the throwing knife is priceless. There were picture on X comparing him to Naruto with it and with the way he ran through the first ring of security.
He didn’t bring the shotgun. He was just running with a .380.
I know. Sounds like Tuesday EDC.
Waiting for one of the WatchGlibs to comment on the timepiece.
He was just running with a .380
Disciple of Gavrilo Princip?
I’ve got more than that in the corner of my office.
Those pictures are way to fuzzy to make out the timepiece. Generic, round, looks like a fabric band. Could be anything from Timex on up.
Winner of 11 World Wars
We must do all we can to prevent World War One Hundred Eleven.
missed opportunity . . .
Eleventy-One
“The DNC assholes are already deploying their flying monkeys in the press,” the hat said, dropping his phone in disgust.
The professional poo-flinger mercenaries. At best, human debris.
“We should call for the capture and execution of Hasan Piker!” the hat said.
That mewling twunt should get pointed and laughed at.
“We could shock him like his dog…”
Good idea.
Mongol Music.
Today’s installment on correlation versus causation.
Professional school grads from diverse classes get higher salaries
https://arstechnica.com/science/2026/04/professional-school-grads-from-diverse-classes-get-higher-salaries/
I went digging around and found out this was based on US News and World Report’s college rankings. It’s not mentioned in the Ars article. There are a variety of weaknesses with this data as schools got caught gaming it to rise in the rankings. I have no idea how it was cleaned after the gaming was discovered. Nor do I really care to dig into it. I can tell you I’ve never reported to my alma maters any of my employment or salary information despite their inclusion in US News.
Science!
LOL what a load of horseshit.
It all goes on your permanent record which schools have access to.
Kagan said that under the conservative majority’s new test, plaintiffs challenging a redistricting plan must show that legislators acted with a racially discriminatory motive, which she said is “well-nigh impossible.”
What about when the explicitly stated intent is to create an advantage for a preferred racial group., in the interest of fairness?
Discriminating against good people is bad; however, discriminating against bad people is good.
What’s so hard to understand?
That Piker guy bothers me, but what bothers me more is the media fellatio he gets.
He is the voice of a new generation or some shit.
Professional school grads from diverse classes get higher salaries
The talking point that refuses to die. There was a thing I saw recently in which some guy was pushing the same old shopworn assertions about the added value of college, to counter all those fools out there who are beginning to question the value of a college degree. One degree is as good as another. Just get one.
It’s BMW. I’m guessing the driver was distracted by the unfamiliar turn signal indicator and the sound indicating its usage.
https://www.reddit.com/r/IdiotsInCars/comments/1sz58uo/oc_three_mirrors_and_a_backup_camera_yet/
My wife’s BMW has so many cameras and shit beeping while I back up, I have trouble keeping track of what the hell is happening. A basic Honda or Toyota is far easier to handle.
I remember the good old days with just two mirrors and a large rear window to look through.
After I turned off a few in my Tesla it became much more useful.
I’ve no firsthand knowledge of new Toyotas, but I’ve read and heard they are awful “out of the box” with too many warnings.
Mega Jeep has a button to turn off all the beeps boops and whizzers. Thankfully. I have to shut it down backing out of the garage because it thinks the expansion joint in the driveway is a wall.
Minnes0da plates. I am sooo proud of my fellow drivers!
How?
That Piker guy bothers me, but what bothers me more is the media fellatio he gets.
He’s an bold original thinker!