Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Aug 6, 2026 | I Am Lame | 70 comments

Happy first Thursday in August, y’all. I just have to get through until Tuesday, and everyone will be back to school. I get to have my damn regular life back. I have started taking my 12 year old son to the gym. I’ll be honest with y’all, Private Pyle was in better shape at the start of Full Metal Jacket. But that’s okay. That’s what the gym is for. He gets a little better at doing the exercises every time, his brain wires up to his muscles a little bit, and progress happens. Another month, and I think he’ll be able to do an actual, femur parallel to ground, back squat. And then we’ll make him less weak and more useful in general. Also, it is good for fathers and sons to have a thing they can do standing next to each other. It’s a much more collaborative place for men than face-to-face. We’ll see.

I assume they’re calling it the Fathom because it sounds deep but isn’t.

Oh boy, I’m so glad a bunch of sociopaths took AI into the real world. Hopefully, these AI agents will discover “the only way to win is not to play” before they try launching nukes.

Apparently, all the nuns present immediately went to confession.

Anyone eating at Chipotle should expect a little bacterial add-on.

The tag oversells it, but

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

70 Comments

  1. DEG

    in a first, were found to engage in “social engineering” to pressure a human approver while carrying out an unsanctioned task

    “Unsanctioned”? You fucked up the prompt you fed into the AI.

  2. The Other Kevin

    Camila Alves and Matthew McConaughey have spiritually uplifting experience after meeting Pope Leo during Vatican visit

    When asked what he thought of the Pontiff, McConaughey responded, “He’s all right all right all right.”

    • PieInTheSky

      Someone spiked the comunion

      • PieInTheSky

        Wine goddamnit stupid wordpress

      • Ted S.

        The wafer could be an edible….

  3. DEG

    “We are confident that we have the best cost platform and are focused on the right market,” a Ford spokesperson said in an email. “We believe the UEV platform will be a strategic advantage — and we have the best chance to make it work.”

    Why do I think this really means Ford will be lobbying for a return to increased CAFE standards?

    • The Other Kevin

      They’re trying to read the tea leaves and betting on the political winds shifting.

      • DEG

        That’s true.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well messed those up. Lame

      • The Other Kevin

        I thought the entertainment was the rest of us trying to click fake links.

    • Aloysious

      The long tradition of SugarFreeing links looms large over you.

      • Aloysious

        Also, Lame.

  4. Aloysious

    Love the ABB. Midnight Rider is a genuine classic.

    Can’t listen to them without wanting to listen to Little Feat, especially Spanish Moon.

  5. R.J.

    Everybody stand up, and gird the loins of the person next to you. Tonight we watch “Ulysses” with Kirk Douglas on GlibFlicks! Sword and sandal time!

    • Aloysious

      Cool.

      I’m still not touching anyone else’s loins.

    • PieInTheSky

      I am in a pub and that would be sexual assault

      • R.J.

        You have the God-given right to gird your own loins instead.gird your own loins

    • Rat on a train

      I only have a cat next to me.

  6. PieInTheSky

    Canadia is supposed to be cold. Why is it 33C in Halifax

  7. Ownbestenemy

    Be interesting to hear what the DSA would do with DHS and DOW employees if they got their dream.

    They are howling now at what is…a small RIF in FedGov employees that barely went beyond normal attrition numbers for a given fiscal year.

    • EvilSheldon

      Throw them in jail, probably.

      • Ownbestenemy

        They want to abolish jails too…

      • Gender Traitor

        I bet they’d be willing to make an exception.

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh – and replace DHS and DOW with a KGB for the new(ish) millennium.

      • EvilSheldon

        They want to abolish jails too…

        Not for enemies of the state, they don’t. They’d probably just call them re-education camps, or something like that…

      • Plinker762

        Won’t need jails once the collective farms are up and runninng.

    • Raven Nation

      I assume they would change the name of the DOW to the Department of Peace.

      • EvilSheldon

        “Peace is our Profession”

  8. Ownbestenemy

    First Taco Bell and now Chipotle…I see a coordinated strike happening.

    • Rat on a train

      It they hit Poco Loco there will be war.

  9. The Late P Brooks

    They’re trying to read the tea leaves and betting on the political winds shifting.

    “Honest, President Newsom, we were always on your side.”

    • The Other Kevin

      Whew, we’re FINALLY rid of the orange menace, amiright they/them?

    • Ownbestenemy

      You misspelled Ocasio-Cortez

    • EvilSheldon

      “…part of a pilot program aimed at reducing student stress and curbing a ‘mental health crisis’.”

      sob! sob! “But, but, why won’t anyone give me a job?”

    • rhywun

      Do they get binkies too? JFC.

    • DrOtto

      Hmm coddling didn’t work, maybe we need to coddle even more?

    • Rat on a train

      All those remedial courses shouldn’t get college credit anyway.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Tonight we watch “Ulysses” with Kirk Douglas on GlibFlicks! Sword and sandal time!

    I watched The Light at the Edge of the World last night.

    Pirates. Crazy, crazy pirates.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Students will still earn letter grades and receive instructor feedback in every course. However, those grades will remain internal, will not appear on official transcripts, and will not affect first-semester GPAs.

    My dad went to Ohio State. He said any Ohio high school graduate could get in, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t flunk out in their first year. I think that was a better system.

  12. PieInTheSky

    On first impression Halifax is ass. But i will keep an open mind.

    • creech

      If you like lobster, there’s a few good restaurants where you can dismember the whole bug, drown the good parts in melted butter, all while downing a pitcher of Molson’s.

  13. Evan from Evansville

    Glad I went with Dad to be with the 6yo for the afternoon. We went to a cat cafe and he petted the cats, and a 4mo kid was crawling towards him, always had her on him, she did. Much cuteness. We then took him to a Wamart to find six ‘scavenger hunt’ items throughout the store, knowing this was his quest to earn his bday $20 gift, where he could pick anything he so desired, food or otherwise.

    He loved it last year and got a watch he wore for months. He decided to upgrade the present this year, so he got a nicer one, with a dope flaming wristband and spaceship backdrop. I joked we could make this a tradition, and in a few decades he could keep up the tradition with *his* parents and pick up a Rolex.

    Such fun, is he. I’m thrilled he’s the most likely me of my nephews and we’ve got something special. Almost therapeutic, was today, my time with him. Always important to grab those meaningful moments and make the most of ’em.

    Gonna send a sincere note of appreciation to my old boss tonight. We’ll see how this next transition goes. Thanks for the tax classes and possible title-esque job idea from the other day. Will look into it and more. Dad’s kinda correct saying my ability to work with children is a big skill of mine, but it’s not at all something I want to do, nor does it pay well nor lead to anything more ‘meaningful’ for me.

    I likely will go back to Meijer (If they’ll re-have me) and do 3-days/wk for a bit as I look for something better. I’m thinking of submitting posts to Vox/etc, they apparently like 3-paragraph blurbs to pitch ideas. I really think my unique circumstances, and the ability to still coherently write about them (in a more playful than normal manner), is a pretty good Hail Mary to develop on the side.

    It may be another time to shoot for the moon with it, just not bank on it, cuz ya only live once. I haven’t seen much from y’all today. Hope all is as well as it can be.

    • R.J.

      It’s a crazy work day. We are spiraling down now, being asked to save impossible amounts of money . Almost all staff is offshore now. Most systems are automated. What’s next, shut the place down?
      It is especially depressing seeing that my experience is just a microcosm of the American business world right now. Enshittification is reaching the end game.

  14. Threedoor

    Ford e pickup.
    Bet it’s a Ute Like the Honda trucklet.

    Should have called it the Ranchero.

    • R.J.

      Yes. That is a missed opportunity. Or maybe not, considering it will crap all over the Ranchero name.

    • Sensei

      Don’t pick on my Ridgeline. For general home stuff it’s awesome. Because it’s unibody it has great interior room. It also rides well.

      I wouldn’t use it for landscape business and it wasn’t designed for that. But if your business deals with mostly bed volume and not weight it should be fine.

  15. Not Adahn

    Yo.

    There is a 24hr diner across from the hotel. Their side dish options are fries, onion rings, or perogi.

    The pierogi are perfectly adequate, but cooked in a deep frier.

    • Sean

      I could go for some onion rings right now.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Should have called it the Ranchero.

    Maybe they learned their lesson with the electric “Mustang”.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        “Mustang” and “4-door” seem mutually exclusive.

      • DEG

        That’s not a Mustang. But it is slightly less of an abomination than that electric piece of shit.

      • DEG

        The EV crossover regularly outsells the gas-powered coupe by a wide margin

        I smell bullshit unless that actual Mustang isn’t selling.

        When the electronic bullshit showed up was when I bought my 2021 Mustang. I talked to the guys at the dealer who said the electric bullshit wasn’t selling.

      • DEG

        And… yes…. the real Mustang isn’t selling.

      • Sensei

        For full-year 2025 in the United States, traditional gasoline-powered Ford Mustang cumulative sales reached 45,333 units (up 3% year-over-year), while electric Ford Mustang Mach-E cumulative sales totaled 51,620 units (down 8.4% year-over-year)

      • DEG

        45,333 units (up 3% year-over-year)

        That’s down from previous years according to the link I found. Except for 2023, there is a steady downward trend in sales for quite a while. Except for 2022, 2024, and 2024, the real Mustang always sold more than the 2025 Mach-E number you posted.

      • Sensei

        I should qualify that’s AI.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    A four door Mustang. Going head to head with the Dodge Charger, I guess.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Enshittification is reaching the end game.

    It’s data mining aggregators, all the way down.

    Fill out this detailed form and we will match you with one of our slave wage contractors (and sell your info to the entire internet).

  19. The Late P Brooks

    And… yes…. the real Mustang isn’t selling.

    Does Ford make any Mustangs other than high margin special editions?

    Base models they used to call “secretaries’ cars” I believe.

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