“You want a baby that can catch and eat a mouse? I can find you a baby that can catch and eat a mouse,” the hat said, brimming with confidence.
“I don’t want a baby that can catch and eat a mouse,” the hair said.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s gross,” the hair replied.
“This sounds like a super-baby,” Donald said, his fingers steepled. “America needs super-babies.”
“He just eats mice, he’s not a super-baby, Donald,” the hair said.
“Don’t listen to this gay pussy, Donald,” the hat said.
“We could make him the Secretary of War,” Donald mused. “We can have him simply eat our enemies.”
“The Devourer,” the hat said. “He will be feared. Probably be able to run right up a wall and snatch birds from the air any time now.”
“We must step up the super-baby breeding program,” Donald said. “It will be a tremendous effort, like going to the Moon.”
“Going to the Moon and then eating it,” the hat said.
“It’s our Moon after all,” Donald said.
“No, it isn’t, by international treaty it isn’t,” the hair said.
“Fuck that treaty bullshit,” the hat said.
“America’s Moon,” Donald said, rubbing his stomach after three Big Macs, a large fry, and enough Diet Coke to put a normal human into renal failure.
“We should name it America,” the hat said. “See that up in the sky? That’s America!”
“When I was a young man, I thought we should nuke the Moon,” Donald said ruefully. “I’m glad I didn’t.”
“Dancing on the Moon with the Stars would be some good TV,” the hat said. “Or Moon Apprentice, the hunt for an administrator of Moonal interests.”
“I want to go to Moon America and be its Moon President,” Donald said.
“We could capture an asteroid and mine its gold to gild Moon America,” the hat said.
“OK, that’s just stupid,” the hair said.
“Imagine it, Donald,” the hat said. “The light of your golden Moon America in the sky, your legacy a warm yellow glow shining down on all the peoples of the Earth.”
“And mouse-eating super-babies to keep us safe from aliens,” Donald said.
“A strong Moon America border makes for a strong Moon America,” the hat said.
“I just don’t have the energy for this today,” the hair said and scuttled from Donald’s head into a desk drawer for a nap.
“MOON AMERICA STRONG!” he heard the hat yell as the drawer closed.
Sorry, I forget everyone is not as terminally on-line as I am…
Is that one of Hunter’s paintings?
Hunter’s dead art career was just amazing. He used a Japanese technique of spitting dyes onto paper. He literally made his paintings with spit.
One of the problems satire is what you do with something like that? What could make it more ridiculous? Is not money-laundering spit art by the President’s crackhead bagman the peak?
Maybe HB was trying to be the next Jackson Pollock, but with less talent?
I can’t believe I just implied that JP had talent.
He certainly had marketing talent.
Just think, that means that they can DNA test the paintings for authentication!
What could make it more ridiculous?
Ask Pricasso.
Nice.
My life has been enriched by googling that.
Thanks ROAT
I am surprised it was just his spit.
Amazing. The golden showers of Trump bestowed upon all
Golden meteor showers.
Like the gossamer filaments of His Golden Pate
Every time it rains it rains…
A race of super carnival geeks would show the aliens who’s boss.
Are we sure this isn’t a Subaru Horror Theatre episode?
At some point, you know they were going to blend together…
The Legend of The Golden Subaru will live in our hearts and our minds for decades to come.
Did I miss something?
Why is a baby eating a mouse?
Although:
Can’t argue with that logic.
It was a thread on X.
https://www.glibertarians.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/HSGYDVKboAAw7WD.jpg
https://www.glibertarians.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/HSGYDUlXkAYufUQ.jpg
White privilege!
mercy me
I’ve put the images in an update to the post.
Was the baby a cat, by any chance?
What the what?!?
That woman’ baby is terrifying!(Would be if it was real anyway)
I didn’t know whiteness was expecting a seven month old baby not to be able to catch and eat a mouse.
Pretty sure I’ve read that story.
There are some dogs that will eat anything, even if it kills them. It’s a thing. Babies can be the same way. I’ve seen a baby eat a spider before it could be stopped. Those primitive feed instincts in the lizard brain are powerful.
Ron – I found the Desert Eagle for you!
https://nypost.com/2026/09/15/us-news/golden-gun-42kg-of-fentanyl-and-an-alligator-in-a-tiny-tank-found-in-luxury-la-apartment/
Anyone want to guess the cartridge? It’s not rimless. I suppose I could figure out what calibers they made, but that’s no fun!
i want solid gold not gold plated.
The DEagle is a .44 Magnum, but you notice that there are some .38 Special or .357 Magnum cartridges mixed in there?
Also, whoever did that plating job should be dunked face-first into their own electrolyte tank.
I am with Sheldon. It’s a mix of random cartridges a cop threw in there to make the picture look more dramatic.
I don’t have a Desert Eagle, mine is a steel Baby Eagle.
It’s a CZ clone made by Magnum Research for Israel Weapon Industries.
I have a .45 that looks like the picture here, and a silver 9mm that was an Israeli police pistol with a Star of David engraved into it.
I don’t think I’d go this far. Criminals generally aren’t known for their brains when it comes to firearms.
The article is a bit dated now, but still fascinating: https://www.activeresponsetraining.net/criminals-and-the-guns-they-carry
The hair is Megan Rapinoe?
Ha!
I agree. I volunteer to pair with Sydney Sweeney.
Get in Fookin’ line, pal.
WUT?
Damn.
That being said, my favorite local burger joint makes from scratch deep fried finger steaks, whole mushrooms, and huge onion rings. If I get any of that, I’ll want a Huckleberry milkshake.
Must. Watch. Diet. Must. Stay. Glibfit.
We should all get a moon rock valued at $5,000 out of the deal, right?
Depends on the kind of Moon America rock you mean.
Considering the Donald’s obsession with the MOON, I wonder if he eats Moon Pies?
Donald needs to be nicer to Elno to get to the moonies
The super-baby has a 70 IQ. He’s got retard strength, but needs to be closely controlled.
Her real sin
The Novig spots, however, make the American Eagle campaign look like ads for Quaker country. In the full 60-second clip, Sweeney, naked but covered in sports regalia of all kinds, repeatedly asserts that Novig is “just sports,” lewdly holding a football against herself to convey its yonic shape. A moment later, she renounces gambling platforms that allow betting on anything other than sports. “No betting on wars, or deaths, and no politics,” she states pointedly, cocking her head toward the camera. It’s a winking declaration for the famously apolitical actor, once again suggesting that politics — civic, social, national or otherwise — has no place in her work.
Nobody said she could do that. There is no such thing as “apolitical”.
You’re either with us or you’re against us.
And, of course, there can be no distinction between the actress and the role.
Salon was all up in arms about Lizzo posing nude and objectifying women, right?
Lizzo is a Nubian queen and you should just be thankful you were allowed to get lost in her rolling brown rolls.
Just when I thought it was safe to eat lunch.
barf.
What’s a Nubian?
“‘What’s a Nubian?’ Bitch, you almost made me laugh.”
One of my favorite scenes of all time.
I’m against you.
I’d like to be against Sidney Sweeney as well, but no luck so far.
The ads for Kalshi “sports future contracts” bother me more than the sports betting ads. It’s a bet. Own up to it.
Shit is getting weird in Cleveland even by Cleveland standards. The head coach is acting like Baghdad Bob defending Watson. Watson is out there suggesting that criticism of his last performance is ridiculous and that they expect him to throw for 400 and 5 TD’s every week. Dude hasn’t hit the 300 mark once since joining Cleveland years ago. He’s got a 9-11 record as the starter. Dude is saying he “operated well” and gave them a chance to win in a game they lost by 24 points and which was never competitive.
Paper bags over your head to go to that stadium isn’t enough to mask the shame at this point. Like when the athletes won’t even give platitudes that they need to play better and the coach is like a cheerleader because he’s just happy to have a head job…
My boss (from Cleveland, die hard Browns fan) thinks it will be ugly when they play at home on the 27th if Watson is still the starter unless he miraculously remembers how to be a great QB next week.
Yeah. This week the Browns are playing the Buccaneers, who are lead by a familiar face in Baker Mayfield. The best thing that can happen for the Browns is for Watson to get injured on the field on the first drive. It would be somewhat entertaining for me, since I was down in Florida when Watson popped his achilles in Cleveland.
The home opener is a week from Sunday. If Watson is playing, there will be vulgar chants from the stands. I can guarantee it.
Monken has lost the fans with his press conferences. There’s nothing salvageable from Watson. I expect the Stillers to sign him after the Browns cut him.
I expect the Stillers to sign him
Why come you hate the Bro?
PutridMeat:
The Stillers like having old washed up QBs, look who they currently have.
I don’t think the steelers are nearly that desperate, we still have the corpse of Aaron Rodgers for one more year.
Although he did look a little more mobile last game, but we’ll see how he holds up.
The Steelers may be OK with a date rapist as a QB or a guy who murdered dogs by the hundreds to thousands, but there’s no way in hell they’d take a deviant like Watson.
Thank you for Saturn.
I mean moon baby.
At this juncture, it’s perfectly fair to say that Sweeney has also used her body to her own career advantage. She’s as known for her looks as she is for her performances and characters. Even two Emmy nominations for her work in “Euphoria” aren’t enough to overshadow the cartoon eye-popping that happens every time she decides to show skin for a role, an ad campaign, or her lingerie brand, Syrn. Consider, too, the name of Sweeney’s newly formed production company: Honey Trap — a term for using sex and romance for information or monetary gain.
Unprecedented in the annals of history!
No woman has ever used sex appeal to make money before this.
I’m genuinely curious if the person who wrote that ever opined about Onlyfans in anyway publicly. I’m going to guess if they have it was a completely different tune.
The Bee comes through again!
https://babylonbee.com/news/sydney-sweeney-tries-to-gain-support-of-liberal-women-by-murdering-multiple-children
Sydney has an equity stake in Novig. She’s laughing all the way to the bank.
It’s a sports betting site. None of those critics was ever going to spend a single cent there.
I have to give her credit for not coming out and just saying the platitudes they want to hear from her. She seems to have some fortitude and while they want to paint her as a bimbo, she’s played this all exceptionally well and monetized it about as much as she can.
She’s a middling actress with a nice set of tits. And she may be the most famous actress right now.
The dirty secret of left wing attacks is that they are never the ones spending the money on the thing they are complaining about. From the comic book movies that needed the diversity to Harry Potter to anything else.
The fact that the studios continue to cater to them has to leave you wondering. It’s either a giant money-laundering scheme that we don’t know the particulars of…
Or it’s simply purely ideological and about indoctrinating the NEXT generation of fans. Kids who don’t know better will eventually just think the quality they’re putting out is the normal.
The Ryan Reynolds playbook.
Gotta give it to her: that’s pretty clever.
‘“Dancing on the Moon with the Stars would be some good TV,” the hat said.”
^^ He’s right, ya know.
As a young man, I periodically get fed soft core porn on any social media platform. You would think in modern day that the supply of thots outstrips demand, but apparently not. I’ve seen a number of clearly AI-generated THOT pages. No real woman involved asking for her cut. Just some Indian dude working in a call center by day and generating images of hoes with fake asses by night to flood your Instagram feed.
Real THOT’s have to be fuming. Taking views and strokes away from them.
Real THOT’s need Andy Tate to pimp em effectively
I did not know you identify as young
If FourScore is our benchmark
“Engagement”
Speaking of porn related:
https://x.com/tmz/status/2099985553374486882
Scrolling down the 3 comments I can see and it looks like Humpty from the Digital Underground.
I never liked rap, but my buddy loved his song.
TwiX only lets me see two and no audio on videos anymore.
They are going to AOL themselves.
Ain’t that the truth. I can’t surf X on my phone anymore, i get blocked by a big USE THE APP thing. Huge mistake on their part.
Work asked me the same question as before, with “Sterling” (background check folk) having record of my ’24 employment Test Scoring with BCforward but I put 2026 in my resume, when I ALSO graded for them.
I attached my signing contract for the ’24 one, and can’t find the ’26 one, but sent them my Starting Date info ‘packet’ to show them when I worked for ’em this year.
So, that’s a bit strange. Same boilerplate email, and she replied to my first message back clarifying my dates of employment there, saying everything was perfect and a nice smiley face. So! I added a bit more info I had handy and hope it pleases them.
Quite hope this straightens everything out. I shall see, I suppose. *crosses fingers*
ALSO! May not have mentioned this, but last Friday, day after I signed my employment agreement with Cox, I got a call from Indiana wanting me to interview for the State Eligibility Consultant gig I applied for in early July! I told her to keep me on her list, though I wish I could of represented MN Munch for the gig, ‘same’ she did in Dodd County. I really hope I don’t need to wattle back to them.
Hopefully, UCS is doing well in Ohio today on his way to Carmel, IN tomorrow. That should be a lotta fun and Quite Interesting.
Other than joining the army I don’t think I have any paperwork from any of my past jobs. Certainly not a contract.
I wonder I I could get a job nowdays if applications require that much information. Everything is so far in the past I’ve thrown out any paystubs that existed.
The State Eligibility Consultant gig is probably a decent one with more long term stability.
Hell I think I would pursue that simultaneously.
Had I known Monday *wasn’t* my real starting date, I absolutely would’ve set up an interview for the Indiana State Eligibility Consultant gig. I kept her number and may try to get her on the phone. Not sure how successful that’ll be, but it’s not NOT worth a shot.
*cringe*
Onward and upward, yeah? Well, as demonstrated, that first part often involves climbing, avoiding and meandering past barriers. Much gravel. I’ll be rather pleased when it’s outta my skin.
You should have a W2 or a 1099 from them for the 2026 tax year as well. You can use that to show proof as well.
Duh – won’t be sent yet. Disregard!
Bingo! teehee! (I did get my ’24 taxes for them and downloaded several ’26 pay stubs to help.)
Mom was talking about background checks she did in Indiana for work. They went way back and were asking her about where she lived in 1987, when I was born in Bluefield, WV, and we moved to Evansville in ~September of that year.
I’d have big trouble if they wanted to look pre-2022, though our address in Carmel has technically been ‘mine’ since ~2012.
I just sent them my 2024 taxes from BCforward and a few beginning /end pay stubs for this year. +Wisdom
Thank you Lord Orange aman for saving us from the scourge of Black Velvet and Crown Royal! That will show those Canadians!
Pick your poison
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tT4d1LQy4es&ra=m
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YZRzi-xr_1M
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_mKjjJz5CeL8IrvY6UCrhjYynnZgVAJ1kE
I never liked Crown Royal, but their bags were great for keeping money in for our bi-weekly nickle/quarter poker games.
The police – “Nothing good is ever found in a Crown Royal bag during a traffic stop.”
They would have found $40-$60 in mine.
Bags good for dice too.
Hey! Trump also cut the Irish whiskey tariff. I’d rather have more Tullamore than more Crown Royal.
Hey, speak of the devil – the other night I made some Irish Coffees with Green Spot. If you haven’t tried it…I think I may like it even better than the Tullamore D.E.W..
EvilSheldon:
I’ve had both the Green and the Yellow Spot, while I don’t mind them, I think they’re grossly overpriced. The Green Spot goes for $65, and the Yellow for $150. At those prices, I’m going up to Redbreast.
Turn out the lights, the party’s over
The organization’s annual Global State of Democracy report, which tracks democratic performance across 174 countries and draws on data going back to 1975, was released Tuesday. The latest report focuses on changes in democratic performance between 2020 and 2025.
And Shah says one country stood out for how far its democracy has declined. “The clearest example, unfortunately, is the United States,” she says.
The report says that in 2025, “President Donald Trump quickly amassed power in the executive branch and wielded it to further a narrow set of personal goals and pursue retaliation against perceived enemies. … The results have been far-reaching, undermining the rule of law domestically and internationally and testing long-standing alliances and multilateral cooperation.”
Shah says the U.S. has historically served as a bastion of democratic governance, with strong performance in the rule of law and judicial independence and a prominent role in promoting democracy around the world. “But that’s no longer the case,” says Shah.
Save us, Joe Biden!
International Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance
I’m convinced, that sounds like an unimpeachable source.
One more reason illegal immigrants should want to steer clear.
I wonder how that has worked out.
More Sydney Sweeney backlash
https://x.com/_AaronRyan/status/2100227662677508587
Asshole posting that will be old and have man tits too one day. Then we’ll see whose laughing.
Democracy, she notes, is no longer the central focus of U.S. foreign policy.
Democratic values are also no longer the basis for new alliances globally, Shah says, noting that the democratic aid the U.S. used to provide to developing countries has been dismantled.
He cut off the political advocacy slush fund.
Slip the guy a few million and see how his tune changes.
Fed hikes interest rates for first time in 3 years
The Federal Reserve increased the overnight fed funds rate to a target range of 3.75% to 4%, prioritizing combating sticky inflation over soothing anxious bond markets.
If it can catch a mouse as a baby it will probably be able to catch AND fuck an ostrich by the time it is a grown adult.
Allegedly.
If you give a baby a mouse…
Still about 5 percentage points too low.
Watching the Warsh press conference right now – CBS reports starts his question with “a quarter point rate hike can’t open the Strait of Hormuz” – such insights from our illustrious press.
I will say the current 10-year rates are starting to turn my head from an investment perspective.
prioritizing combating sticky inflation
Unless they can find a way to take the checkbook away from Trump and those other imbeciles in Congress…
We’re doomed.
Sadly.
“a quarter point rate hike can’t open the Strait of Hormuz”
BUY WAR BONDS
from Jeff Childers. Its really the second half that’s interesting, recounting the apparent current state of the investigation into the assassination attempt in Butler. The absolute best explanation for it is that it is a complete and utter clusterfuck that should get the entire FBI burned down and its ashes scattered. The other explanations are somewhere on the continuum from “it was an FBI op the whole time” to “the FBI is going to a lot of trouble to cover up for somebody, and they don’t care how bad it makes them look”.
Let’s try that with a link.
My comment was eaten. Trying to point out we have had space weapons since Reagan and his “Star Wars” project. This is not some new revelation, unless the world collectively has Alzheimer’s.
https://www.spaceforce.mil/news/article-display/article/4299727/us-space-force-unveils-service-dress-uniform-implementation-plan/
That’s a lot of frill with no combat patch.
“Guardians”? Really? Ugh.