Tuesday Afternoon Links

by | Mar 10, 2020 | Daily Links | 408 comments

Oh boy. Its Tuesday. Most exciting thing here at Casa L? I teased my wife about buying some jorts. Now, if you wear jeans to work, outside, and you routinely tear out knees or destroy the cuffs because you work outside, I’ll give you a pass on the jorts. Otherwise, I’ll taunt you mercilessly as the type of person who dates your cousins because you’re kin to everyone within an hour’s drive. Mrs. L contested that these could not be jorts because the legs were hemmed, to which I responded that I was glad she had a pair of formal jorts in case she was due to be matron of honor at Florida Man wedding where everyone wears UF gear, but nobody ever attended.

Joe Biden is somewhere between Bullworth and Weekend at Bernies now. You’d think someone would feel bad about treating him like a muppet (apologies to Rufus), but so far, no one in his camp seems to have even a shred of a soul left.

NY state introduces slave-labor made hand sanitizer. “Out, out damn spot!”

Is it really a universe if different parts of it are expanding at different rates?

What dictatorship actually looks like.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

408 Comments

  1. leon

    Joe Biden tells factory worker ‘you’re full of s—’ during a tense argument over guns

    Remember when the left cried about how Trump would start a nuclear war because someone said something mean to him…

    • AlexinCT

      To those of you that wont vote for me I tell you I hope you fuck off and die… To those of you that I need to vote for me, I say I hope you fuck off as well!

      • PBRstreetgang

        First politician with this pitch, gets my vote.

      • AlexinCT

        Well if I ever get drunk enough to let someone talk me into running for office and i find myself unable to back out of it, I will let you know sir, cause that will be my campaign motto.

      • leon

        The William T Sherman gambit eh?

        Fun Fact Willam T Sherman was the brother of the Senator Sherman of “Sherman Anti-Trust” act. The Brother was very peeved that his brother was so popular, and didn’t want it.

      • C. Anacreon

        And the third brother was the Sherman of “Sherman and Peabody” fame.

  2. Count Potato

    “Joe Biden is somewhere between Bullworth and Weekend at Bernies now.”

    That’s an insult to Warren Beatty.

  3. leon

    What part of the prisoner do they use to get hand sanitizer?

  4. Count Potato

    “New York is battling the coronavirus – and price gouging – with a germ-killing hand sanitizer produced by maximum-security prison inmates who work for less than 65 cents an hour.”

    Do they brew the ethanol in a toilet?

    Anyway, I can’t wait for NYS Clean cotton.

    • C. Anacreon

      Truly, it’s unethical unless those prisoners are paid a living wage which can support a family of four and a designated economic basket of goods and services each month.

      And no, they don’t get any salary credit for their room and board already being covered.

      (What exactly are the pundits demanding? No prisoner is forced to work, they do it voluntarily and it helps to pass the time, and at least they are getting something for their effort. Imagine if they actually had to work to compensate for the cost of feeding and housing them.)

      • Rhywun

        One article I saw claims they are being forced to work and the activists demand that the prisoners be paid at least minimum wage.

  5. Swiss Servator

    NY state introduces slave-labor made hand sanitizer. “Out, out damn spot!”

    Next up, bottling all Great Neptune’s oceans.

  6. leon

    The Earth, solar system, the entire Milky Way and the few thousand galaxies closest to us move in a vast “bubble” that is 250 million light years in diameter, where the average density of matter is half as high as for the rest of the universe.

    I hate this. Does that mean the density is 50% of what it is elsewhere or 150%?

    • Jarflax

      Epicycles come storming back.

    • grrizzly

      I think it’s 50%.

      • C. Anacreon

        In the rest of the universe they call it “fitty cent”.

      • Not an Economist

        That is correct. The theory is the density of the local “bubble” is 50% of the average density of the universe. Bubbles do exist in the universe. Our solar system is in one caused by a supernovae a few hundred millions ago.

        Of course there has to be a reason for the bubble in the universe. And the implication is the expansion of the universe is not uniform, which causes its own issues.

      • Not an Economist

        “hundreds of millions of years ago” not “hundreds of millions ago”

  7. Gadfly

    Now, if you wear jeans to work, outside, and you routinely tear out knees or destroy the cuffs because you work outside, I’ll give you a pass on the jorts.

    But you shouldn’t. Anyone who wears jeans for outside work is going to want those jeans full length so they don’t tear up their actual knees. You are perfectly in the right to tease someone for wearing jorts, period, no exceptions.

    • Brett L

      If you’re fishing for fun after a hard day on the pig farm west of Gainesville, I’ll let you have your jorts.

      • Florida Man

        We always had cut off jeans because we destroyed our full length jeans knees and just cut them off for more use.

      • Mojeaux

        And used the rest of the good fabric for patch quilts and purses, right?

        +1 Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.

      • Florida Man

        The legs parts indeed get used for patch material. We weren’t exactly a wealthy family. I did get new clothes until my brother moved out. Until then I just got hand me downs.

      • Gender Traitor

        This. #TwoOlderSisters : (

      • C. Anacreon

        Second-hand Gender Traitor, of Second Avenue?

      • Brett L

        Before the mid-90s, my father would wear cut-off “dungarees” that were just shot out old jeans for everything that was hot and dirty work. Like, other than bathing suits and running shorts (he was a big runner until a couple of years ago), I’m not sure he had a legitimate pair of shorts in my youth. Maybe he had some of those 80s polyester coaches shorts, but I couldn’t swear to it. If it was worth wearing something with a real hem, it was worth wearing full-length pants to. About that time khaki shorts came into vogue in golf. So I blame golf.

      • Mojeaux

        I was in the middle of cutting out blocks to make a faux cathedral quilt, but then the whole “oops, we’re moving” thing happened and I decided to toss 2 bags of denim. I kinda regret that.

      • Brett L

        I think the days when you would cut off your jeans and wear them on the boat, or fishing, or for yard work or painting the house are gone. Like wearing your old black work socks doing the same (unless you’re German).

      • Florida Man

        Kids today! Actually it’s probably because there is like one kid per 100 family/friends. They have more stuff than they could ever use.

      • Pine_Tree

        The black sock thing a few years ago caught me off guard. When I grew up, “dress” socks were black and athletic ones were white (and as a kid had three stripes at the top). Anyway, all the socks I had to run/exercise in, or wear with jeans, were plain old white. When my oldest started running x-country competitively, I was somewhat stunned that all the teenaged athletes wore black socks for running. Still not sure I can make myself do it…

      • Chipwooder

        Yeah, when I was a kid only dorky kids wore anything but white socks – and by the late ’80s, that included those stripes at the top of tube socks. So, it was a jarring thing when my son started wearing nothing but colored socks with shorts. All the kids do that nowadays, it seems. Some are brightly colored, some are dark. The dark ones make me think of the old men you used to see at Busch Gardens when I was a kid who would wear black socks and dress shoes with shorts. It’s just weird to me.

        I wear some bright, whimsical type socks to work, plus some argyles and other colorful designs, but never anything but white socks with shorts.

      • Tulip

        We- teen girls- wore tube socks with colored stripes for gym, but thinner socks with novelty prints during the day. Things like music notes, or cats, etc. With penny loafers. I’m a child of the 80s

      • Mojeaux

        Leg warmers.

        Lace mitts.

        Black O-rings and a zillion bangles.

        Slouch boots.

      • Tonio

        Coach told us that the dye in black socks was a foot irritant. Coach was full of shit about many things.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t own any socks other than those plain black “gold toe” ones. Cut just above the ankle. Works with anything in any season.

      • Pine_Tree

        In what should not be a surprise to anybody (INTJ Engineer who hangs out here), I have a large batch of identical “gold toe” black socks, and a large batch of identical white athletic socks, so that matching is a no-brainer.

        For hunting I have a mix of thick ones from Cabela’s, because that’s the standard Christmas present on Mrs. Tree’s side of the family.

      • robc

        First against the wall.

        Dont worry, the INTP revolution will never happen.

      • Pope Jimbo

        You bother pairing them? OCD much?

        When my wife and I started living together she was appalled that I never matched my socks. Like you I had a bunch of black dress socks and a bunch of white sweat socks. Since they all matched each other, I had no reason to “pair” them up. I just grabbed two of the same color and off I went.

        Since she does the laundry, she folds them up in pairs and rolls her eyes when I tell her she’s wasting her time.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I have cutoffs AND jorts. I’m not sure if I bought the jorts, or my wife did. Whoever did it, I’m sure they were 80% off and it was during our dirt poor years when we’d wear anything that was on the super-clearance racks.

      • Gadfly

        Fine, but apart from “on the boat, or fishing, or for yard work or painting the house are gone” what have the jorts ever done for us?

      • pan fried wylie

        PEOPLES JUDEAN JORTS not JUDEAN PEOPLES JORTS!

      • Tonio

        Those are cut-offs, Count, which are an entirely different sort of thing.

      • Count Potato

        Jorts have hems?

      • Brett L

        If they make a chick look hot, they are cutoffs. Otherwise, jorts.

      • Tonio

        Generally, yes. They are also purpose-made. True cut-offs started off life as a pair of legit jeans and then had the legs cut off to turn them into shorts. Often a snug and favorite pair of jeans that the wearer can’t bear to part with. Finding the right cut-line is tough; have pity on those poor girls who were just trying to be thrifty and practical. And maybe accessorize with some appliques, or rhinestones.

      • Tonio

        Except those are gross, unflattering eighties “mom” jeans with the high waist (which are unfortunately back in fashion, partly due to the TV show “The Americans”). I’m a seventies kid, low-rise, hip-hugger jeans or GTFO.

      • Jarflax

        I’m also a 70s kid and the 70s were the worst decade in virtually every way, but especially stylistically.

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        I’m a seventies kid

        So y’all remember gauchos?

      • Mojeaux

        So y’all remember gauchos?

        Also known as culottes.

        But give me some palazzo pants and now we’re cooking.

      • Gdragon

        “partly due to the TV show ‘The Americans’ ”

        ———

        I mean Keri always looks hot but I haven’t mentioned her style on the show to anyone and I don’t think that any of the other 37 people around the world who followed the show have either 😉

      • Gadfly

        A good looking woman can make bad attire fashionable. This in no way justifies the attire.

      • AlexinCT

        That’s when you tell her to take it all off, right? For fashion’s sake, ya know…

    • leon

      If you are younger than 7 i think jorts might be ok.

      • leon

        …. What have i done?

      • Gadfly

        What have i done?

        Lit the OMWC signal?

    • Tonio

      He should have just told her they made her butt look big. LOL.

      Brave man, Brett. Let us know how your couch sleeps.

      • Brett L

        If it was less comfortable, I might remember to STFU before I get my foot all the way in there.

    • Gender Traitor

      I would like to say a word in defense of capri jeans (below the knee) for chicks (especially grown-ass wimminz) IF she has the calves & ankles to pull it off. Bermuda shorts, however, are flattering to no one.

      • Mojeaux

        Dude, you know what? If I could find cargo shorts that fit me, I’d wear them all year round. All those pockets…

        Also, I am 52, with an indeterminate strawberry blonde hair color and thus now invisible to the world. I could wear a neon orange and black Hawaiian print muu-muu and nobody would see me.

      • Count Potato

        Natural strawberry blonde is pretty rare.

      • Mojeaux

        It used to be darker then I started going white. White is a bitch to get to hold color so I got the darkest thing I could get to my natural color. I wouldn’t mind the white so much if it didn’t make my hair look DIRTY.

      • Gdragon

        The pockets helped this young type 1 diabetic carry around his glucometer and whatnot in the summer without feeling/looking awkward. Cargo shorts will always hold a special place in my heart.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Hey!

        I like my Bermuda shorts!

  8. leon

    Putin backs term limit freeze allowing him to stay in office

    When does he just say he is the rightful tszar?

    • Enough About Palin

      He just wants to be there for Trump.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      That Trump is allowing Putin to do this just proves that he is Putin’s puppet!

  9. Florida Man

    Florida Man wedding where everyone wears UF gear, but nobody ever attended.-

    Hey! Actually that’s fair. Side note: I did attend UF, but never wear gator gear because I don’t want to talk sports with strangers.

  10. PBRstreetgang

    NYT a week ago: There are 114,000 homeless students in the New York City public school system
    NYT today: There are 550,000 homeless people in entire the United States.
    20% of all homeless people are NYC public school students?

    • Tonio

      Good catch. But remember that the definition of homeless is extremely flexible — everyone from hardcore crazy homeless (who don’t want to be helped) to that family that got evicted and is living in a cheap motel.

      • Rhywun

        living in a cheap motel

        Been there. And at no time did I ever consider us “homeless”.

    • PBRstreetgang

      Oh yeah, that’s my point. In the school context “homeless” meant anyone in temporary housing, including living with extended family or friends. Applying that definition to country would mean millions of “homeless” people. Applying the ‘lving on the street’ definition to NYC students probably would put that number in the low hundreds.
      Grossly inconsistent definitions bug me, especially when used in the same context.
      Personal bugaboo

      • leon

        Grossly inconsistent definitions bug me, especially when used in the same context.

        Don’t look at shooting statistics….

      • PBRstreetgang

        Ain’t that the truth

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        +150 million

      • Gadfly

        *ahem*

        -150 million

      • The Other Kevin

        Next you’ll tell me 50% of kids don’t go to bed hungry.

      • Tundra

        Those PSAs drive me insane. No one is starving in this country.

      • Gdragon

        I actually had someone tell me that many people were starving right here during a discussion about North Korea (it’s all American lies, you know 😉 ) and I couldn’t believe that I had to explain that he was talking about people here eating a burger that was thrown in a dumpster while I was talking about people rummaging through dumpsters and being lucky if they could even find a cracker.

      • The Other Kevin

        Especially not the ones they are part of the obesity epidemic.

      • leon

        10 in 5 girls are sexually assaulted at college.

      • Chipwooder

        “Food insecurity” is such a bullshit concept.

      • Florida Man

        Gov: do you know what you’re having for dinner tomorrow?

        3 year old: I’m not sure…

        GoV: THIS CHILD IS FOOD INSECURE!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Same with choosing a NY strip over filet mignon because beef prices are high. Or not on sale.

      • Gadfly

        Yeah, but nobody’s going to vote for more bureaucrat jobs and pensions unless there’s a fig leaf of solving a problem to cover over what’s actually going on.

      • Jarflax

        Virtually everyone is days away from being out of food. Even preppers seldom really have everything they need for more than a couple months. So yeah, food insecurity is the natural state of man. It is why we learned how to farm and how to keep livestock, and most of the things we have learned since.

      • Count Potato

        I’m not a prepper but I’m sure I have at least a month’s worth of food.

      • Jarflax

        Which is 30 days, and if you have water for 30 days you are a rare bird.

      • Count Potato

        Well, you don’t have to leave the house to get water.

      • Fourscore

        All the teenagers go to bed hungry, its what teenagers do.

      • Tonio

        I know. Thanks for calling out NYT on those numbers.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Next time I see one I’ll toss him a million Bloomberg bucks. Problem solved.

    • Ted S.

      Yes.

    • MikeS

      I could maybe accept “exposed to”. “Infected by”? I’d need someone much smarter than Angie Merkel to say so.

    • Gustave Lytton

      No, but it’s at the upper bounds of expectations by epidemiologists.

      This is not flu (influenza). There is zero previous immunity in humans and no vaccine. The susceptible percentage of humans is close enough to 100% to be the same.

      Obviously as infection and recovery rates progress, there will be (hopefully, although there’s been reported reinfection however that may be just ongoing infection as viral loads decreased but then reincreased during the same infection) herd immunity in the general populace which will reduce the rates of new infections.

      However until there’s a vaccine, anyone who hasn’t had it would continue to be susceptible.

  11. The Other Kevin

    Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state, then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started.

    • Tonio

      So…post menopausal?

  12. Mojeaux

    Jorts == above-the-knee capris made out of denim.

    Capris are cute. Pair with a cute top and Keds for maximum cute.

    • Gender Traitor

      ^This! (Note to self – scroll down) For shoes, though, I’m partial to a nice open-toe wedge.

      • Mojeaux

        Espadrilles #FTW!

      • Tres Cool

        /deliberately doesnt mentions Tieks

      • Mojeaux

        Blurgh. I wear Birks and that’s all I wear.

      • Tres Cool

        /sksksk

      • Mojeaux

        An I oop.

        Save the turtles!

  13. Rebel Scum

    Nadless demonstrates lack of nads.

    House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-NY) on Tuesday said Democrats should flee Washington, D.C. as coronavirus continues to spread across the United States — A suggestion which was immediately shut down by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), according to a report.

    Nadler made the remark in a closed-door caucus meeting on the deadly illness.

    “We are the captains of the ship. We are the last to leave,” Pelosi responded, echoing a comment by Rep. Mikie Sherrill (D-NJ) moments earlier, The Hill reports.

    • leon

      “We are the captains of the ship. We are the last to leave,” Pelosi responded, echoing a comment by Rep. Mikie Sherrill (D-NJ) moments earlier, The Hill reports.

      But really if you wanted to leave, you could. we wouldn’t mind….

      (also I’m not a squid, but IIRC Captains go down with the ship.)

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        If they wanted to go down with the ship. I’m o.k. with that.

      • Chipwooder

        If they wanted to go down with the ship. I’m o.k. with that.‘d encourage that.

      • Chipwooder

        sigh

      • tarran

        A captain going down with the ship isn’t customary except in one circumstance: the ship is sinking because the captain fucked up, and as a result people died. It’s intended to expiate one’s guilt..

        Captain being the last off the ship OTOH is customary in all circumstances (unless it’s impractical such as when a captain is knocked unconscious and is evacuated along with the rest of the injured).

      • Mojeaux

        In my pirate book, the captain was rescued by another captain, but NOT until everybody else was off the ship. The rescuer captain knew the recscuee captain would not want to be rescued until everyone else was safe.

        Also, wasn’t the rescuee’s fault. Lightning during a hurricane will, betimes, strike your main mast and crack your ship in two like an egg.

    • Private Chipperbot

      They’re supposed to be fucking oarsmen. That’s the problem with Washington.

      • Rhywun

        ^this

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Galley slaves, really.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Oh, they’re fucking the oarsmen, believe it.

        taxpayers are oarsmen, in their view.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Uffda. I couldn’t even imagine the cluster fuck that a trireme full of Congress Critters would be. Even if you could get them agree on who pulls oars and who beats on the drum and who steers, what are the chances that the people who got those jobs are actually capable of performing them?

        I would bet that not only would they all be pulling the oars to their own beat, they wouldn’t even be pulling in the same direction.

    • Florida Man

      Maybe I’m cynical, but I’m guessing he was told to say that so they could show how noble and selfless they are for staying.

      • leon

        For sure:


        [Curtains Open: Pelosi is surrounded by her closest allies]

        Nadler: Ms Speaker, they say that Sen. Cruz has succumbed to his ailments, I fear we must flee the city before the plague take us all

        Pelose: Have Heart my dear Nadler. We are the captains of this ship. We must stay and lead the people, not flee. The Moral fiber of the country depends on us, and we will stay to defend it, if it means that we suffer the fate of fair Pericles

        Chorus: Begins song

      • C. Anacreon

        Song: Oh Captain, My Captain

        (we also would have accepted “Ride Captain Ride, Upon your Mystery Ship”

      • Bobarian LMD

        The playlist

  14. Count Potato

    “Dear people saying “you don’t care about kids in cages” to voters planning to #DemExit if the DNC succeeds in railroading Biden through as the nominee:

    THE PRACTICE OF PUTTING KIDS IN CAGES STARTED UNDER THE OBAMA/BIDEN ADMINISTRATION.”

    https://twitter.com/DrJillStein/status/1237440128198627328

    Thinking that facts matter is one reason why she could never win.

    • leon

      Sounds like republican RUSSIAN talking points.

    • Raston Bot

      Dr. Jill Stein
      @DrJillStein
      ·
      Mar 9
      Biden’s team won’t let him do interviews. He made 2 short teleprompter speeches in Missouri this weekend & both generated massive gaffes that went viral. You can’t beat Trump by trying to hide to avoid the issue of #BidensCognitiveDecline. How is this not a massive red flag?

      Jill’s swinging for the fences.

      • leon

        How is this not a massive red flag?

        Pretty rich for a Russian asset to be talking about red flags.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Maybe she has a sense of humor.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Not to worry, his wife is a doctor.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not to worry, his wife is a grifter too.

      • MikeS

        She has to be to let this train wreck keep going.

  15. Chipwooder

    I don’t have any anymore because I don’t even know where you’d buy them, but I liked my denim shorts from back in the day when everyone wore them.

    • Tonio

      Walmart, Target…

  16. Gadfly

    What dictatorship actually looks like.

    Indeed. Although I’ll give him that he’s clever in his framing:

    “The president is a guarantor of security of our state, its internal stability and evolutionary development,” Putin said. “We have had enough revolutions.”

    Reminds me of someone else who said “Don’t swap horses in midstream”.

  17. Jarflax

    Jean shorts are ok if you answer yes to one of these questions:

    1. Are you Catherine Bach?
    2. Are you under 12?
    3. Are you trashy?

    • Mojeaux

      This does not exactly scream trashy.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Does (1) apply to today’s Catherine Bach?

    • Chipwooder

      Motion to amend condition 1 to read “Are you Catherine Bach from ’70s and ’80s?”

      I have many very fond memories of her from the Dukes, but the lady did not age well.

      • Jarflax

        Your amendment is accepted

      • MikeS

        I second the motion.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Is that ageist?

    • leon

      3. Are you trashy?

      I’ve seen the video trashy has on his avatar. It would just extend down past the jorts.

  18. Enough About Palin

    “Joe Biden tells factory worker ‘you’re full of s—’ during a tense argument over guns”

    Shorter Biden:

    “Shut up and vote for me, fuckhead.”

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      It’s his turn.

      • Sean

        In the barrel?

    • Rhywun

      In a normal election that would be the end of him.

      • Viking1865

        If a politician would tell a voter who was urging for less freedom he was full of shit, I would applaud. Like if Bernie had actually stuck to his old gun stance and told some woke heckler “Fuck off, the people need guns in their hands to protect themselves. You want only the cops to have guns? Some leftist you are.” The objection I have is not the tone or the word choice, it’s the sentiment. There’s no “proper” way to advocate against freedom, there’s only overt and covert ways.

        Biden is showing his age here. This is Gun Culture 2.0. Dudes aren’t buying a single good deer rifle when they get established, with a box of ammo a year for the deer season. Guys might own a Model 70 for 50 years and pass it down to their kids with less than 10,000 rounds fired. People buy ARs to shoot them for fun, and for self protection, and yes to uphold their duty as citizens to guarantee “a free State”.

        30 years ago, in plant of UAW guys, the gun owners are all deer rifle/bird gun guys, and they probably would have been Fudd types saying “Welp, I don’t own an AR, so I don’t really care if they ban them”. Maybe one or two has some kind of modern tactical rifle, but not likely. In 2020 you’ve probably got more ARs than deer rifles in the crowd. Dudes under 40 grew up playing shooter games, they’re interested in tactical arms, and ARs are cheaper every year. Biden standing up there telling them MUH DEER RIFLES MUH SHOTGUNS is like going up to a bunch of college kids, promising that yes the Internet will be heavily regulated and restricted, but don’t worry they can still catch Walter Cronkite every night.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Dick’s continues to not want my money.

    Pittsburgh-based Dick’s Sporting Goods has announced it’s removing firearms and ammunition from more than 400 of its stores in a continued effort to divest itself from the shooting sports market.

    In 2019, the retailer dropped firearm sales at 125 stores, but the company announced Tuesday morning that its efforts will ramp up in 2020. A total of 440 stores across the country will remove guns and ammunition from their shelves, but the products will still be for sale in approximately 160 locations.

    • C. Anacreon

      Does 400 stores constitute a Bag of Dick’s?

  20. Donation Not Taxation

    About the Joe Biden news item
    In case you have trouble making out the audio, here is a transcript
    TRIGGER WARNING: Rush Limbaugh version
    From https://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2020/03/10/cruel-and-unusual-punishment-for-plugs/

    RUSH: Are you able to understand all that? (interruption) Yeah, you couldn’t. See, folks, I’m gonna be forced to violate the high standards I have established for decorum and decency on this program because I’m gonna have quote Plugs, because he couldn’t hear, the sound bite was so bad. Especially at the beginning of it.

    So the unidentified voter said, “You are actively trying to diminish our Second Amendment rights and take away our guns,” and Plugs said, “You are full of sh…!” That’s as close as I’m gonna get, folks. The Democrat presumptive presidential nominee said, “You are full of sh…!” A woman then said, “All right, thank you.”

    This was one of Plugs’ handlers, moving in, trying to limit the damage. “Okay, okay, thank you.” But Biden turns to his handler and says, “Shush, shush, shush, get away from me. I support the Second Amendment. The Second Amendment just like right now if you yell fire, that’s not free speech. From the very beginning I have a shotgun, I have a 20-gauge, a 12-gauge, my sons hunt. Guess what? You’re not allowed to own any weapon. I’m not taking your gun away at all. You need a hundred rounds?” See what Plugs did? Plugs just came out for the Second Amendment.

    The Democrat Party does not come out for the Second Amendment. The Democrat Party does tell its voters you’re full of sh-. They do that all the time, but they do not come out in favor of the Second Amendment. Now, Plugs has come out in favor of 20-gauges, 12-gauges. His sons hunt. In Ukraine, what do they hunt in Ukraine? What do your sons hunt in China, Plugs?

    See, it doesn’t take anything to rattle the guy. So he tells a Democrat voter, “You’re full of sh-.” A handler moves in and tries to say, “Okay, let’s move on.” And Plugs, “Shush, shush, get away from me. I’m not through talking to the guy. Don’t be a horse’s ass, an AR is a machine gun, I’m not working for you,” he says to the handler. I’m not working for you. They can’t control the guy. He’s — well, like I say, folks, this is cruel and unusual punishment, what these people are doing, and I’ll tell you, just again to reiterate why, here are their choices.

    • leon

      My favorite part of the video was his lady handlers saying “thank you so much” while trying to shoo the disruptive worker away. This is the same thing they said to the guy who Biden told “to vote for someone else”. Imagine having that job.

      • Brett L

        My wife and I are re-watching Veep. Its a little too on-point sometimes.

      • leon

        We started watching it the other day. Really, really on point. especially when you think about VP’s selected from loosing primary competitors, got to have a bit of angst that they didn’t win the primary.

      • Chipwooder

        My sister and her husband both work in politics – formerly on the political staffer side, now on the lobbyist side (but don’t hold that against them, they’re really lovely people!) – and both of them said that Veep is a remarkably accurate depiction of politics.

      • Drake

        I didn’t make it 5 minutes into that show. The idea of somebody that vapid, narcissistic, and stupid in power sickened me.

        In a functional democratic republic like ancient Rome when it was a big town and everyone knew each other, that kind of candidate would get laughed out of the room.

      • Gadfly

        Its a little too on-point sometimes.

        I always considered Veep to be the unauthorized docudrama of Hillary Clinton, with the usual Hollywood liberties taken of course.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Wouldn’t be the first person to have to deal with a declining boss.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        “Imagine having that job.” *shudders*

        As to the rest, interesting point.

    • grrizzly

      Thanks. I could understand only parts of the exchange and that matches nicely with the third paragraph you posted.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        You’re welcome.

  21. Donation Not Taxation

    Joe Biden, 2013, on AR-15s and shotguns:

    “‘If you want to protect yourself, get a double-barrel shotgun,’ Biden said in an interview with Parents Magazine back in February. ‘You don’t need an AR-15. It’s harder to aim, it’s harder to use, and in fact, you don’t need 30 rounds to protect yourself. Buy a shotgun. Buy a shotgun.'”

    From https://www.theblaze.com/news/2013/04/12/joe-bidens-5-most-absurd-quotes-about-firearms-and-gun-owners

      • R C Dean

        I counted 14? active participants.

        Although I doubt you’d have to drop more than 4 or 5 before the rest desisted.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Back when I lived in Norfolk (maybe 10 years ago now?), a mob of teenagers surrounded a car on a major road while at a stoplight and dragged out the two occupants within, who happened to be reporters of the local newspaper out on a date. They then proceeded to beat the living shit out of the man and probably would have killed him had he not managed to get back in the car. While beating him, they screamed racial slurs and told him his race wasn’t welcome there. There were probably 30 “teenagers” in the mob.

        The newspaper tried to cover the story up. You had to go to out of town sources to get the true story.
        https://www.grandforksherald.com/news/2174827-mob-beating-former-forum-reporter-virginia-sparks-media-firestorm

      • Tonio

        Not blaming them, but… Why were their car doors not locked? Was their gas pedal broken?

      • MikeS

        The dumb fuck got out to confront the first rock thrower.

      • Tonio

        Rostami locked her car door, and someone threw a rock at her window. Forster got out of the car to confront the rock-thrower.

        Bad move, Forster.

      • Naptown Bill

        This is where the flowchart narrows down to one decision block: “Am I carrying a firearm?”

      • Naptown Bill

        I mean, the two choices for the above are; “Don’t get out of the car” and “Don’t get out of the car unless you really, really need to”.

      • Viking1865

        I mean, the two choices for the above are; “Don’t get out of the car” and “Don’t get out of the car unless you really, really need to”.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4dFDBYWuTc

      • leon

        This is where the flowchart narrows down to one decision block: “Am I carrying a firearm?”

        In this case it doesn’t matter. They Reporter had a weapon (the car) to defend themselves with. They should have used that. The right to use lethal force to defend yourself isn’t limited to a kind of weapon.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I can see the headline now at their former employer:

        White Nationalist Mows Down Children Playing in Street

        Survivor says he only gently tapped on the man’s car with a pebble to let him know his tail light was out.

        You’re right though, and better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6.

      • creech

        SemiSpartan failed to include “The child mowed down had recently turned his life around and was thinking about applying to community college.”

      • C. Anacreon

        “He was a high school honor student and football star”

      • Florida Man

        Unfortunately he internalized the “I’m special because I’m a reporter” mentality. Reality is not what you say it is. Also, younger me would have gotten out of the car. Today me is much more pragmatic about these things.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Oh yea, that’s right. He did get voluntarily get out of the car.

        I did a brief stint of substitute teaching at school very close to where this happened. It was surreal to see the security guards, some of whom resembled NFL linebackers, terrified of certain students. More specifically of these students or a member of their crews showing up at the guard’s house after hours to put them down. It was kind of like watching the special treatment the connected guys got in Oz.

    • Michael

      Yeah, a shotgun is definitely the close quarters weapon of choice for defending your family against an intruder. Actually, fuck it – you know what’s even more effective? A grenade.

      • Jarflax

        You are not welcome to my home defense. I will invite you to the revenge mission however.

      • Ozymandias

        In Afghanistan, we traveled with an H&K 40mm grenade launcher in our vehicles. This little beaut, to be precise.

        You have to worry about the round spinning up enough to arm, but if a crowd started to gather and threaten, you could point this out the window and “restore civility” real quick-like.

      • Florida Man

        My understanding is it’s a great less than lethal round at close range.

      • Tres Cool

        Is it still the M203 ?

        /looks at EXPERT bar on badge…..

    • Tundra

      Ok. Got one.

      What’s next, Joe?

  22. Raston Bot

    the Bee is so damn money..

    Bernie Sanders isn’t going to take this lying down and says he will marry “gulags full of women” if that’s what it takes to regain Omar’s endorsement.

    • AlexinCT

      Bernie wants other people to do the heavy lifting. Not himself.

    • grrizzly

      Biden has cancelled his rally, too.

      • leon

        Scott Bixby
        @scottbix
        ·
        34m
        Replying to
        @scottbix
        “If they conclude that there shouldn’t be big indoor rallies, then we’ll stop big indoor rallies,” Joe Biden told NBC News on Monday. “We’re going to do whatever (((they))) say.”

        I KNEW IT!!!

      • Ozymandias

        Coronavirus is the perfect excuse for Team Blue to keep its two doddering idiots out of the spotlight for as long as possible. I’m not kidding, either. I think this is absolutely a part of the calculus. The more people see of Comrade Bernie and S-S-St-Stutterin’ Joe Dementia, the worse it gets for both of them. (No offense meant to stutterers, either.)
        I would bet that the DNC is polling people on the reg and finding out that the more these guys get in front of people and get asked questions, the worse it gets. Voila! “COVID-19 mandates we cannot speak publicly anymore! Vote for me!” Now each can do all kinds of packaged messaging instead of letting people listen to a playlist of gaffes for the election in November.

    • Tonio

      Next – Pressure on Trump campaign to stop his rallies. “Never let a good crisis go to waste.”

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        It seems like it’s a good idea right now though, what with all the oldsters and such that like to attend.

  23. R C Dean

    I teased my wife

    How’s the couch? Comfy? Long enough to stretch out for a good night’s sleep?

    • Gadfly

      Given that yesterday Brett was talking about escaping from his kids, maybe this was just an alternative form of birth control?

  24. Mojeaux

    Carried over from last thread:

    @Fd’A

    Last year the nurse looked at my blood work and proclaimed that she’d never seen more perfect numbers. The PA then proceeds to berate me for my diet and tell me I’m eating all the wrong shit.

    The dental hygienists do this to me about my teeth. “Wow you haven’t been here in 2 years, WTF?” “Wow, your teeth look fabulous. No plaque at all. What are you doing?” “WTF do you mean you use a hard-bristled toothbrush? Stop that. You’re going to scrub off all the enamel. Come back in 6 months.”

    My dentist just shrugs and says, “Whatever works. Come back when you feel like it.”

    • Ozymandias

      My great-grandfather lived to be 100 and had a full set of teeth; he brushed them with salt is what I’ve been told.

      • Mojeaux

        It may be hereditary or something. My mother has always taken meticulous care of her teeth and they’re still fragile as glass. But then, so are her bones. All she has to do is think about breaking her arm and it does so. HER mother, OTOH, had a full set of choppers when she died ~90, and I’ve never broken a bone.

      • Ozymandias

        Heredity is undoubtedly part of it. Fortunately for me, everyone on both sides lived looooonnng lives. My mother’s mother is still raising hell at 96, my dad’s dad made it to 98, both of my parents are 73 and doing well, so… ?‍♂️
        (I’m not brushing my teeth with salt, however.)

      • Mojeaux

        Dude, right now I’m licking salt straight off my hand with no tequila chaser. I could be persuaded to use salt in a pinch.

      • Ozymandias

        In a pinch?? 😉

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Whose teeth were they?

    • Raston Bot

      hygienists must get commissions to upsell. it makes me not want to go back.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      I had the opposite happen.

      Hygenist: you have great looking teeth

      Dentist: it’s so sad to see somebody so young with such ground down teeth. Can I interest you in a mouth guard? Only $400

      That’s what I get for going down to Manasshole to get my teeth cleaned.

      • Mojeaux

        Me, about 21 or thereabouts, with dental insurance but not THAT much dental insurance, going to the dentist for teeth cleaning and cavity check.

        “You have gingivitis/periodontitis. See, on this gauge we shoved into your gums, you come up to here, which means you need intensive treatment.”

        “Talk to the checkbook.”

        “You NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED it. You need it QUICKLY, LIKE NAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

        “I think I’ll be fine for a few more months.” Until I can find a new dentist that takes my insurance.

        Me, about 52 or thereabouts, never heard the words “gingivitis” or “periodontitis” in relation to my teeth ever again.

      • Count Potato

        Same here.

      • Tonio

        $4.99 at the sporting goods store.

    • Rhywun

      Easter Island…?

    • Tonio

      Ima work on your fishin’ hole tomorrow, bro.

      • Mojeaux

        Phrasing!

      • Pope Jimbo

        Remember it isn’t the depth that you fish at, it is how you jig your worm.

    • Tres Cool

      Another Jack Nicklaus-inspired golf course?

      HEY YUFUS!

  25. Pope Jimbo

    A ray of sunshine from Minnesoda’s professional sportzball teams.

    Maya Moore has always been known for hitting the big shot on the grandest stage. She just got the biggest assist of her career.

    A judge on Monday overturned the 1997 burglary and assault convictions of a Missouri man, Jonathon Irons, whose case has been championed by the Lynx star to the point she stepped away from her career to help the family friend.

    Cole County Judge Dan Green found the defense for Irons provided enough evidence to prove he was wrongfully convicted, a decision first reported by the Jefferson City News-Tribune. He has been serving a 50-year prison sentence stemming the non-fatal shooting of a homeowner in the St. Louis area when Irons was 16.

  26. Juvenile Bluster

    So someone in our New York office has suspected coronavirus. Test is due back tomorrow. If it comes back positive the office is closed for two weeks, at least.

    Broward County declared a state of emergency. We have four confirmed cases, and all of them work for a company that helps people check off cruise ships at the port.

    • Mojeaux

      Heh. Today, my husband’s company started asking about people’s internet capabilities at home.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Mine started that last week. Wonder if they knew something.

        I’m going to be surprised if work doesn’t just send us all home to work remote in the near future. I’m totally ok with that happening.

      • Mojeaux

        It would not be okay if he came home to work because he’d be in the same room with me. He is not a homebody and I don’t like people in my space who are going to talk to me while I’m working.

      • Tulip

        We are under instructions to bring computers home every day just in case.

      • Not an Economist

        It sounds like my employer is headed that way. I have a trip scheduled next week and I figure I have about 25% chance of not going.

    • Florida Man

      Hopefully no one with COVID-19 will come to my job… I’m screwed, aren’t I?

    • whiz

      Our department chair is starting to think about how to switch all classes to online mode if things get bad — and we’re in the middle of Iowa. We have an online faculty meeting Thursday, mostly as a trial run, I think.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I am ineligible for teleworking otherwise I would 3 days a week

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      That’s entrapment if ever I’ve seen it. Seems like it would be anyway.

      • Tonio

        The process is the punishment, Stinkster.

    • Ozymandias

      I grew up on the streets of Providence and it was widely known that you needed to avoid them AT ALL COSTS. I could tell you story after story, generationally, about the horrors of the Providence Police Dept. My grandmother worked for them for a while and she can rant on that subject ALL DAY LONG.

      To wit (just one example): mom’s stepdad was an alcoholic, but not a belligerent or mean drunk; Just couldn’t lay off of the sauce. He would get picked up by Providence’s Finest and they would beat him with knight sticks by putting phone books between the knight stick and his head. Doesn’t leave any mark, probably caused brain-bleeding, but who knew about that way back when, right? My mom said he would just sit and cry from the pain and the headaches. That’s just one story.

      • Tonio

        “I run a nice clean beach town, Lebowski, and I want you out of it.”

      • Ozymandias

        I don’t know why, but when the cop hits him in the head with the coffee cup, I fucking roll every time. It’s got that slapstick element like “The Three Stooges” or a “Tom and Jerry” cartoon. Every single time, even when I know it’s coming, I just guffaw. I guess the rake-step thing just never gets old for some of us.

      • B.P.

        Wow, that’s awful. And you know what I’d need if police beatings resulted in trauma to my head? A drink.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        That’s not how you treat Otis!

        Sorry to hear that. ☹️

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s just low.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Those evil, dirty motherfuckers.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “Police officials said the process for handling officers like Pinheiro is out of their control — determined by the state’s controversial Law Enforcement Officers Bill of Rights.”

      Of course

    • Juvenile Bluster

      It’s great being a libertarian Jew. Politically, I’m about 1% of the electorate. Religiously, I’m about 2% of the country. Yet I seem to control everything.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh wow. Geocities didn’t die…

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Don’t look at me. I work for the weather control bureau. The mind control bureau is higher security.

      • Jarflax

        When do I get my issue of gold?

      • Naptown Bill

        So what you’re saying is that if I need something from a bank or “the media” I should call you?

        Meanwhile, based on anecdotal experience, that whole Jew Conspiracy thing seems to be working out about as well as the white privilege bit.

      • Florida Man

        *come hat in hand*

        Mr JB, if you would smite my enemies I’d be ever so grateful.

      • Mojeaux

        What’s it going to cost you, though? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm???

        Magic always comes with a price.

      • Florida Man

        I assume it’s some sort of blood magic. You want blood? I’ll get you blood.

      • Mojeaux

        My doctor says I am no longer anemic, but I wouldn’t mind a few more iron-laden red blood cells.

        *Homer drool*

      • Florida Man

        The only tape I ever heard my uncle play in his Jeep was AC/DC. It might have been the only band he had tapes of.

      • MikeS

        I like your uncle.

      • The Hyperbole

        Hopefully they were all Bon Scott Era tapes.

      • Count Potato

        Back In Black was great.

      • Tonio

        It’s the outsize media influence (((you people))) wield. I mean look at this cryptozionist website.

    • leon

      Libertarianism is just think tanks. No one really believes that.

    • Rhywun

      That’s quite a spin operation DW’s got there. “Your electric bill has been reduced to triple what it was a year ago. Have a nice day, Genosse.”

  27. robc

    Edmund Oast IPA. Great aroma, otherwise mediocre. Nothing bad. Hop flavor is light, no bitterness, no aftertaste.

    From the aroma, I am guessing some mix of cascade, centennial, and maybe amarillo? Its like all the hops came at end/dry hop.

    Give it 3/5 for nothing wrong.

    • robc

      After finishing 16 ozs, lowering to 2.75.

  28. MikeS

    I am currently soliciting everyone’s favorite homemade, high ABV, cold remedies.

    • Florida Man

      Tea, whiskey, lemon, honey.

      Alt: ginger ground and boiled, strained. Honey, whiskey

      Alt alt: whiskey neat

      • Gustave Lytton

        Alt: replace whiskey with gin

      • MikeS

        I started with your first one. Chai tea, Rye, lemon juice, and a teaspoon of Fourscore’s honey.

      • straffinrun

        Teaspoon of Fourscore’s honey. *Boom chicka bow wow*

      • MikeS

        2 minutes for that reply. Not bad. But let’s see if we can get that down to one minute, hmm?

      • straffinrun

        Took me 13 minutes to think of this reply.

    • Drake

      Tequila, juice of a fresh lime, triple sec, orange juice in a salted glass with ice.

    • robc

      2 cups sweet red wine
      2 cups strong tea
      2/3 cup rum

      1/2 cup packed brown sugar
      1/2 cup rye whiskey
      1/2 cup orange juice

      1/3 cup gin
      1/3 cup brandy
      1/3 cup lemon juice
      1 bottle dry champagne
      Mix all ingredients except champagne. Cover and refrigerate for several days. Stir in champagne just before serving.

      • Florida Man

        Is the joke that by the time he completes all the steps the cold will have run its course naturally?

      • robc

        Chatham Artillery Punch. Some versions recommend burying in the ground to age for a few weeks.

    • Tres Cool

      50/50 vodka & Nyquil. The Cosby-Colada.

    • Naptown Bill

      Apply bourbon internally. Repeat as necessary, but not ad nauseum.

  29. Aus

    Watching Biden supporters argue on twitter is rather amusing.

    Glenn Greenwald be like: “This man is not mentally fit for office”

    Biden supporters: “But Bernie just had a heart attack! Why won’t Bernie release his medical records?!”

    I think Trump’s gonna win y’all. *popcorn*

    • Juvenile Bluster

      Biden has a better chance than Hillary, but Trump’s going to win because the Bernie supporters are going to stay home, because they’d rather say “Bernie would have won!” than see another Democrat win.

      • Aus

        Perhaps some of that, but I argue it’s more because Bernie supporters are authentically anti-DNC / establishment and they really don’t like Biden. Furthermore, they’d rather have Trump if it means the DNC is weakened.

        Bless their hearts, they really believe Bernie could lead The Swamp to do good things. This is what makes them so dangerous imo. Bernie is a coward, the deep state would have a free-for-all.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The winning ticket this year will be Clinton/Bloomberg. You heard it here first folks.

      • straffinrun

        When people say that you can’t predict an election this far out they are right in this case. The Black Swans of the Apocalypse are everywhere.

    • Tulip

      I think Hunter should be red flagged.

    • The Hyperbole

      That Taurus thing? I’m against IP laws on general principles but if we are going to have them then the Taurus guy had a pretty good case IMO, the songs are very similar and Page was touring( I think or was using the same studio or sommat) with the guy when he was playing this song. Page was well aware of it and copied it.

      • MikeS

        Wolfe’s trustee, Michael Skidmore, said “Stairway” and “Taurus” had similar chord progressions, and that Page may have written “Stairway” after hearing “Taurus” while Led Zeppelin and Spirit toured together.

        I haven’t followed the case, but it seems odd to me that the jury in the original case that sided with LZ wasn’t allowed to listen to Taurus. So their ruling was based entirely on testimony from experts?

      • Rhywun

        Jurors were not allowed to listen to “Taurus,”

        wut

      • MikeS

        Yeah, that fact left me dazed and confused. It seems like justice was just trampled underfoot.

      • Drake

        If they had listened, the Taurus guy would have won after 5 minutes of deliberation.

      • Not an Economist

        My understanding is there are similar musical sequences in other songs that came out before “Taurus” was written.

      • Drake

        Saying it and hearing it are two different things.

      • Count Potato

        The same thing with the Marvin Gaye Robin Thicke case. Jury wasn’t allowed to hear them.

      • Mojeaux

        I think Thicke & Co. ‘fessed up.

      • Drake

        LZ had to fess up that their “Lemon Song” was just a slowed down version of Howlin’ Wolf’s “Killing Floor“. I prefer Wolf’s original.

      • The Hyperbole

        Aren’t all LZ songs just old blues songs? Also Hubert Sumlin doesn’t get near enough credit.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I was being mostly tongue in cheek and I agree with you. That being said, there isn’t much in the way of music that doesn’t borrow from what came before to some extent.

      • The Hyperbole

        Agreed, which is one reason I am opposed to IP laws in general.

      • Gender Traitor

        Bach wrote everything.

      • Mojeaux

        Knew it before I clicked.

      • Mojeaux

        By contrast to my years-long crush on Sinatra, I have grown into my regard for LZ.

  30. Mojeaux

    Landslide.

    ===============

    Unrelated: Mr. Mojeaux just won tickets to see ZZ Top and Willie Nelson. I said, “Oh, I’m sure you and your dudebropal will enjoy that.”

    • Plisade

      Good move. I’ve never understood either of those acts.

      • Mojeaux

        He’s not thrilled about Willie, but he’ll suffer through to get to ZZ Top. Ugh.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They’re touring together? What an unusual combo.

      • MikeS

        I have no idea what ZZ is playing on this tour, but I do know that Billy Gibbons has really been getting back into blues and country-rock type music with his solo stuff. Combine that with touring with Willie and they may be playing an interesting mix of music.

      • The Hyperbole

        ZZ Top may be Dudebropal rock but I’d say you are making a big mistake if you have a chance to and don’t go see Willie. Even if he’s not your bag, he’s up there with Sinatra or BB king or Ray Davies, one of a kind in their genres.

      • MikeS

        ZZ Top may be Dudebropal rock

        I’d say that’s spectacularly unfair. Especially coming from a guy who purports to be a blues fan.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m going by the common perception sure they like the others have been making music for decades but their fame is fairly stuck in the time they made it big, Sinatra and BB and Willie (i just threw Ray davies in because why not, but he’s not really in that category) transcended that.

      • MikeS

        You think so? I think La Grange is every bit as commonly known as Sharp Dressed Man. While there’s certainly some fans who only know Afterburner and Eliminator, I’d wager that the vast majority of ZZ Top fans know Tres Hombres and Deguello every bit as well. And I bet a large percentage prefer the old stuff.

      • Mojeaux

        he’s up there with Sinatra or BB king or Ray Davies

        None of this means anything to me, as I don’t like BB King at all and I don’t like the Kinks, either.

        I loved Sinatra when I was a kid (almost got a chance to see him then) and into my early 20s. Any more? Not so much. He’s really overrated.

        The only reason to do such a thing is to have bragging rights, which I do not need.

      • straffinrun

        I like BB King because I’m supposed to.

      • The Hyperbole

        My point, is that even if you don’t like the genre of a particular act you may enjoy the show, the people I mentioned aren’t necessarily the best musicians/singers in their field but through years of work have mastered the art of entertainment. I’m not a big pop music fan but from what I’ve seen of him I’d go see Bruno Mars, I’d wager he puts on one hell of a show, even if I’d never buy one of his albums.

      • The Hyperbole

        and I don’t like the Kinks, either.

        Lotsa people have said stupid things on this here site (myself included) but Wow!

      • gbob

        Willie is great. Saw him this summer. Still puts on a good show.

    • Naptown Bill

      Am I his dudebropal and don’t know it? I’m a metal guy, but I’d see ZZ Top and/or Willie Nelson in a heartbeat.

    • JD is Unemployed

      Well here’s hoping it doesn’t get cancelled along with everything else that involves leaving the house.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      People here love it when the powerful curse at Joe Lunchpail while jamming their finger in his face. Who’d that guy think he is anyway?

      • straffinrun
    • Rhywun

      Jesus. You could power a city on that much spin.

    • Naptown Bill

      Watch Hoaxed Movie! @Cernovich
      Replying to @CNNPolitics

      Please keep telling Biden this.

      • Raven Nation

        Then you have this brilliance:

        “@davidfrum
        Kind of amazing that anybody thinks this video makes Biden look anything other than terrific. He shushes the aide who wants to lead him away – and then engages a hostile critic face to face, fact to fact. Impressive”

      • The Hyperbole

        It’s what happened. unless your have full on BDS yo’d see that.

      • Viking1865

        The Frums and the other neocon Never Trumpers need Biden to be somewhat stable and sane, because they are trying to spin him as “The Real Conservatives Choice”.

    • Ted S.

      What about people whose internet connection isn’t good enough to do online classes?

      • Aus

        Presumably, email the prof and they’ll make an exception. Schools aren’t going to risk being called ableist, or whatever -ist applies here. (Racist too, probably)

      • MikeS

        Fuck those poors and rednecks.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Poors and rednecks are the biggest demographic for online universities.

      • JD is Unemployed

        #knowledgewithoutcollege ya heeeaarrd?

      • Mojeaux

        To my children, I am openly mocking going to college now. They both get it because their friends are EXPECTING to graduate with $90,000 in debt and unable to get a job–yet they’re going anyway.

        XY thinks he might want to go for landscape design, which is fine, but he can do it on his own dime and besides, that’ll pay for itself in no time.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        There are plenty of places you can go without getting 90,000 dollars in debt.

        Many community colleges are sorely underrated.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, I’ve chatted up jucos a lot. I went to one and loved it. XX is going to trade school for IT. I told her at some point she may want to go to college, but to be careful about it.

        XY may end up being emancipated when he’s 16, so nothing I say is going to make a dent in him anyway.

      • MikeS

        Have her check into Western Governors University. It comes highly recommended.

      • Raven Nation

        Metropolitan CC is pretty solid.

        Johnson County is excellent, but I assume you would have to pay out of state.

      • Spudalicious

        My youngest son took some vocational classes on landscape design, botany, etc., and he’s started his own landscape company after working for a local nursery for a number of years.

      • Drake

        Lots of states charge zero tuition to members of that state’s National Guard…

      • Mojeaux

        Metropolitan CC is pretty solid.
        Johnson County is excellent, but I assume you would have to pay out of state.

        Funny you should mention that. I went to Penn Valley (and loved it). I had a scholarship there too (journalism).

        Anyway, I tried to get XX to go to Johnson County to their railroad program with BNSF. She wasn’t really a fan of the idea but went along with it for a while to please me and then I decided I shouldn’t foist my regrets off on her.

        My youngest son took some vocational classes on landscape design, botany, etc., and he’s started his own landscape company after working for a local nursery for a number of years.

        XY wants to have his own landscaping business. But after a recent spate of questionable behavior, I’ve taken his business away from him and emancipation in 2 years is on the table. He’s going to have to get a real job until he gets out on his own.

      • MikeS

        Not for Harvard Online.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Harvard isn’t an “online” school. Western Governors University is.

      • MikeS

        Are we in the same sub-thread?

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I’m asking that myself.

      • MikeS

        Haha. I was referring to the scholarship kids attending Harvard and the other schools who told “everyone go home and we’ll do it online”.

      • Raven Nation

        “everyone go home and we’ll do it online”.

        That’s what we’re prepping for.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        “everyone go home and we’ll do it online”.

        That’s what we’re prepping for.

        I’ve spent the last two days in those meetings.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Haha. I was referring to the scholarship kids attending Harvard and the other schools who told “everyone go home and we’ll do it online”.

        Ah, gotcha.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It makes sense. The students went all over the place. If only one of them tests positive they’re going to shut it down anyway.

    • Naptown Bill

      UMD system is going to shut down for at least two weeks after spring break. They’re telling faculty to take everything they need for remote classes where possible before they leave for the break. The branch I’m associated with gets next Monday and Tuesday as spring break and I suspect they’ll just tell us to work remotely until further notice this Friday before everybody leaves.

      • robc

        Would have been interesting when I was in school. Wr were quarters, spring quarter started after spring break. Would have been tough to arrange.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Come to think of it, the kids’ school has Mass on Friday. The school is notorious for spreading illness already. Gah.

  31. straffinrun
  32. Yusef drives a Kia

    my toilet roof isn’t sticking, Ghaaahh!

    • straffinrun

      What does that mean? My first thought was “Polydent”.

    • JD is Unemployed

      What sorta fancy uptown high-falutin’ terlet got a roof? Mama get in here ‘n’ bring Grandpaw. He ain’t never seen no terlet with no roof afore. Thissy here feller done got him a terlet with a roof! Well I’ll be jiggered. House full o’ chickens, yard full o’ hogs, spend the summertime cuttin’ up logs to build him a roof for his terlet. Hooey I never done seent nothin’ like it.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        It’s a Public toilet in a park, the different foams don’t want to play,
        /Bob the Builder Shit……

      • JD is Unemployed

        Hot dog. Is the foam not just for insulation? Shouldn’t there be an actual roof on top of that?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        You do realize, I build Miniatures as well as full size things, this is a Mini,

      • JD is Unemployed

        Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh. Right. Got it. I remember back in the before time when I was just a lurker, or not long birthed into the posting phase of my Gliblife, that you actually had a piece up on here about doing that, and it was good, and it all makes sense now.

    • Ted S.

      Did you get the job?

      • JD is Unemployed

        Weird place for an interview but OK.

      • Count Potato

        He’s working for George Michael.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        No, not a bad result though, hooked up with a decent Service..

  33. robc

    Just listened to Tauris. Similar but not that similar. Not an obvious ripoff toy ear.

    • Rhywun

      I noticed the same chord progression in that intro, otherwise the lead guitar was different and the rest of the songs are nothing alike. But with the totality of the circs (!) I could see the decision going either way TBH.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Let’s see: Russia hates Turkey, the EU hates Turkey, the US hates Turkey (but Incirlik AB), Syria and Iran hate Turkey, the Kurds hate Turkey, and Erdogan is bogging down in Syria and Libya while antagonizing Greece. I fear the man may not be long for this world.

    • JD is Unemployed

      Presumably Merkel sighed and said “yust let zem in; tschermany vill take some of zem und ze rest ve can herd into France who vill efficiently export most of zem to ze UK”.

  34. Ownbestenemy

    Family membet working Disney Cruises is home safe and unaffected. Whew…

  35. Ownbestenemy

    Teump supposedly floated a payroll tax holiday with potential to be permanent…wonder if that is true

    • Ownbestenemy

      And my phone spelling is atrocious.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Not “atrocious” as a percentage of the letters…

    • R C Dean

      Snopes rates as “Absolutely, completely true” in 5, 4, . . . .

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Conspiracy theory: Alex Jones was framed because he is getting too close to _____

      • Jarflax

        …the bottom of the bottle?

      • R C Dean

        I think we’re done here.

    • gbob

      “The..the…alcohol. you got the new world order putting estrogen in the water. Wake up people! Her satanic majesty herself, servant to satan, Hillary, is trying to make us love gay frogs. Look it up for yourself people. Alcohol is the only way to cure yourself. Order my whiskey. Infowars.com”

      -Alex Jones (probably)

    • straffinrun

      They made him take a breathalyzer and he blew their minds.

    • Spudalicious

      Cool, you got it to stick.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I can’t find a Toilet facility online, in scale, I can’t find Hitler either, but I did find Someone…….

  36. Plinker762

    Hopefully during one of these 2A exchanges the pro side will answer “Why yes, machine guns may be legally owned by a citizen”

  37. LCDR_Fish

    Well..finally bit the bullet. Ran a mortgage application through Navy Fed last night (a whole point lower than USAA(!)) and I’ll talk to a processor tomorrow. Also talking to a realtor I used to work with tomorrow afternoon about starting to look for options – hard to decide if I want something in “town” Fredericksburg – or outside of town. I’m thinking I’d prefer W of Fredericksburg along rte 3, but I’m open to the King George area…

    Either way…looking forward to finally getting a real place of my own and legitimately unpacking and putting stuff on the walls….etc, etc….first time ever (I’m only 39). See if I can adjust to long term in one place. Sure hope so. (then I’ll start researching “retirement” places in the NW).

    • Spudalicious

      Sweet. Welcome to home ownership. It’s frustrating and satisfying all at the same time.

      • Tulip

        Yep

    • R C Dean

      Staying in the Greater Imperial Capitol, eh? Sorry to hear about your future boating accident.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Well…pretty sure any real grabs would fail in the courts….

      • LCDR_Fish

        Yeah, best job option for me.

        and to top it off I haven’t received a single update from the Apprentice School. I may be overqualified or you may not want me, but for crying out loud, you could just tell me I don’t cut it. If I was legitimately sitting on my hands waiting by the phone, I’d be even more pissed than I already am….I know which shipyards I won’t be applying to in the future.

  38. R C Dean

    Is it really a universe if different parts of it are expanding at different rates?

    Different parts of me are expanding at different rates. Some parts are even contracting.

    • Jarflax

      Cosmic euphemisms! Where can we go from here?

  39. KSuellington

    Damn it. Just found out the kids’ schools are closing for two weeks cause of the Kung Flu. Now gotta have the wife take off work to mind them. Pain in the ass.

    • gbob

      Can’t you have them work the coal mines with your orphans?

      • KSuellington

        Heh. They may have to at this rate.

    • straffinrun

      Welcome to the club. Been a couple weeks already for me. I go off to a job for a couple hours, come home and make the kid lunch, go to another job, come home and check up on the kid, go shopping… rinse repeat. Ugh.

    • Tejicano

      Yeah, it got old really fast. My wife took over and let me go to the gym once last week.

      Since most of my projects are on hold due to the virus it kinda falls to me to watch the kids.

  40. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I just gave the new Toto washlet its trial run.

    It’s magical.

    My life has changed.

    • straffinrun

      It feels like the rains down in Africa, doesn’t it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I just need that theme music playing while I go.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yes it is. Wife said it was the best birthday present ever. Either that’s high praise or I really suck at gift giving.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Fuck. New thread.