Sunday Morning Defrosting Links

by | Jan 9, 2022 | Daily Links | 230 comments

The last storms have been eventful- WebDom managed to wreck on the ice, as did several large trucks. Today will be warmer, wetter, and muddier, so I can skid on that instead. But have no fear- it will be back down to 1 degree in another day or so, so we can go back to real ice slides instead of the brown stuff.

Birthdays today include Warty’s spirit animal; the opera dude who invented the cherry; the guy who looked at Woodrow Wilson and said, “Hold my Margaux,”; a guy with a tragic childhood who then basically invented modern drumming; a guy who was just born to be a villain; a writer who went rogue; a guy who embraced typecasting and rode it well; a mediocrity who rode it to great fame and fortune; some guy who played for Mayall; the best hair in the music biz; and a talented guy who is a sure-fire guarantee of pedestrian music.

Ah well, let’s enstupidate with some Links.

 

Real life outpaces the Babylon Bee.

 

The amazing thing about this story is that Jesse Jackson is still alive. And I think he might be Lightfoot’s estranged daddy. Look at that face!

 

Low bar.

 

Sometimes it just ain’t your day.

 

The photo illustrating this story is really the cherry on top.

 

Sometimes, it just ain’t your day.

 

King Crimson fans will be intrigued by this release of a song from COTCK- but before Court came out. A really interesting alternate version. Pre-Greg Lake and Ian MacDonald.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

230 Comments

  1. PieInTheSky

    Real life outpaces the Babylon Bee. – only a real woman ca defeat a real woman

  2. PieInTheSky

    Low bar. – oh it will only get lower

    • Chafed

      Reid was a disaster for the Dems. Blowing up the judicial filibuster lead to our current Supreme Court. Any Democrat who knows recent history (probably an oxymoron) should curse him.

      • juris imprudent

        Democrats don’t study history – all progressives know that the past was awful and only the future, their future, can be glorious. Study history? That’s almost as silly as seeing if results match intentions in policy-making.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        They don’t even remember what happened 3 months ago when we were told breakthrough cases are rare so shut up and get boosted.

  3. Not Adahn

    It’s amazing how the definition of “typecasting” has basically reversed.

    Originally it meant casting someone who IRL was the character role instead of a professional actor.

  4. PieInTheSky

    Sometimes, it just ain’t your day. – I think some days it just don’t pay to live in New York

  5. PieInTheSky

    Sometimes it just ain’t your day.

    Our European visitors are important to us.

    This site is currently unavailable to visitors from the European Economic Area while we work to ensure your data is protected in accordance with applicable EU laws.

    • Sean

      *sad trombone*

  6. Sean

    Heidi Fleiss is HE’s neighbor?

    • Not Adahn

      At least we know she didn’t shoot her parrot. The bird didn’t disintegrate.

    • Ted S.

      Sounds like it’s about to become “was”.

    • Gender Traitor

      Fleiss said she bought a property in Missouri, where she plans to relocate her exotic bird collection by the end of February.

      Maybe she’ll end up being Mojeaux’s neighbor.

      • Not Adahn

        Heidi can review Moj’s sex scenes for technical accuracy.

      • Festus

        So many plot points!

      • Mojeaux

        I’m betting the Ozarks.

  7. Not Adahn

    Ron Jeremy has not aged well at all.

    • PieInTheSky

      women… suck the life out of you

      • Not Adahn

        It worked out better for Hef.

        Although he was a jerk. Not putting the only golddigger wiling to fuck him at the end of his life into his will was pretty classless.

      • Festus

        He blew Sammy Davis Jr. In his own movie theater.

      • Chafed

        Ron Jeremy is dead? I thought he is alive and facing trial for sex crimes.

      • cyto

        I thought they were just hired to pretend… I mean, she played as if she really had a thing for her Puffin… But come on.. Dude has been around enough to know the difference.

  8. Fourscore

    Morning OM.

    The girl next to Jesse is touching his hand to see if he is real or a wax figure.

    The New York subway story is a surprise, only 34 assaults so far. Now with the new DA the perps won’t have to run away, just walk on by.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Or get killed turnstile-jumping.

      Why is it that I have exactly zero desire to visit that shithole despite it being a relatively short drive from here?

      • Not Adahn

        Because Montreal is just as close?

      • PieInTheSky

        but what if you want a bagel?

      • Not Adahn

        He’s Sehpardic, not Askenaz.

      • PieInTheSky

        wait does that count as Hispanic for the census?

      • Not Adahn

        …maybe?

      • Old Man With Candy

        Mizrahi, akshully.

        We get about 20 cases of bagels per week delivered here, so no need to leave Happy Valley for the Big City.

      • PieInTheSky

        and here I thought you were going to say you bake your own. disappointed

      • PieInTheSky

        Mizrahi – so POC

      • Ted S.

        I thought bagels were boiled, not baked.

      • PieInTheSky

        boiled, baked fried whatever

      • Not Adahn

        Mizrahi, akshully.

        Sweet! That means you’re related to Jesus!

      • Old Man With Candy

        Boiled, then baked, if you make them properly. We would make our own, but we just don’t have bakery facilities or room for them. Our kitchen is about the size of the inside of a food truck.

      • Sensei

        I’m confused. Are we talking about Jesus or bagels being boiled and baked?

      • Aloysious

        I used to work with an ex-con that made bagels by hand.

        Best. Bagels. Ever.

      • Chafed

        Because you read the news.

  9. Festus

    Man, Heidi Fleiss looks worse than the Hedgehog and she’s my age.

    • Fourscore

      Hmmm, your age, eh? Wonder if she’s looking for a father figure?

      • Festus

        I know you were in South-East Asia for a spell but do you really want super gonnorhea?

      • Ghostpatzer

        There’s a vaccine for that! /Pfizer

      • Pope Jimbo

        Fourscore has no immunity to a honey trap

      • Chafed

        From what I hear it isn’t all that super.

    • cyto

      Yeah.. Lots rough miles. She is closer to her ideal weight than I am… I will credit that. But I look 10 or 15 years younger than that…

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Police said the suspected gang left the station in unknown directions, and have released surveillance photos from the scene in an effort to identify anyone who may have witnessed the incident, or any of the alleged assailants.
    The subway station, located on 188th Street, falls under the 46th Precinct, which has seen 34 felonious assaults in the past 28 days, according to city data.

    Hijinks. Nothing to concern yourselves about.

    • Festus

      Oh those Little Rascals…

      • Fourscore

        Bernie Goetz gets it right, just ahead of his time

    • Plinker762

      Is it really violence if the train does the killin?

  11. The Late P Brooks

    But even before the union’s announcement was complete, Mayor Lori Lightfoot shot down the idea.

    When she starts hiring thousands of at-will replacements I’ll think she’s serious.

  12. robodruid

    56?
    I think Ms. Fleiss should consider using less pharmaceuticals.
    Or more vitamins.

    • Festus

      She’s being watched. No more tubs of virgin blood for her, apparently.

  13. Jerms

    Setting someone on fire and running away? Just kill yourself you sorry excuses for human beings.
    The guy that was lit up looked like he was a little burnt up but didnt look like he would later die in the hospital. Has to be more to the story.

    • Festus

      Gah! Friend of Judi was trying to thaw his generator on Friday. Set a taiger torch next to it with the expected result. The poor fuck has 1st and 2nd degree burns over most of his arms and face. He grabbed the torch before the barn went up and found himself on fire. Dove into a snowbank so the thing didn’t explode. He had just proposed to his beau that very day.

      • robodruid

        That’s awful. Hope its ok for him.

    • limey

      That must be the link that doesn’t open for me without using the thing the VPN thing which I am not using.

    • Q Continuum

      Looked into it, he died of an infection 48 days later. Often how burn victims die.

      • cyto

        Also, flames around his head like that means burned lungs. Really hard to survive that.

  14. robodruid

    Anyone else reading stories about “the great divorce” from the perspective of the left?
    I sort of feel that this is an excuse for a false flag event to ratchet down on liberties.

    • Festus

      TBH, I’ve only been reading them from the Right.

      • robodruid

        Which is why I asked, all of a sudden, at least 3 that I can think off.

      • Festus

        Most of what I can glean from the Left is basically “How Dare You?” How dare you, indeed.

    • limey

      It will be. FBI foils FBI plot but the ratchet will move several clicks anyway.

    • Grumbletarian

      I sort of feel that this is an excuse for a false flag event to ratchet down on liberties.

      Ray Epps to the white courtesy phone, please.

      • R C Dean

        That’s my take. Battlespace prep for a coup of some kind if the Repubs take the White House. Building on the “muh insurrection” narrative.

    • juris imprudent

      I’ve been reading it more as “bitch, please – you ain’t going nowhere”.

    • Festus

      Jesus Fuck! Canada is not a free Country, by the way.

    • rhywun

      WTF?

    • Q Continuum

      Everything old is new again, including Soviet medical practices.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Have some words

    Are you starting 2022 in an optimistic mood? You might take solace in the argument that it’s hard to have a real civil war without a real cause — a great question that will be resolved by the outcome. Trump’s moment in national life will die out because he always has lots to say but no longer has anything meaningful to say.

    Or perhaps recent years have steered you toward escalating pessimism. Perhaps the squalor of modern politics flows from ancient truths of human nature. People are easily manipulated with appeals to prejudice and paranoia, never more so than when technology has led to massive growth in the industry of commercialized contempt. A country that can have a civil war with no one really knowing what the conflict is about is one in which the muscles of governance are pitifully atrophied.

    Scratch that chin. Scratch it good.

    • Festus

      I doubt that John Harris has the whiskers to scratch.

    • juris imprudent

      Shorter Politico: There would be no conflict if you stupid people would just do what we tell you!

    • limey

      The Devil’s advocate states that 10 out of 11,791 0-5yos is less than 0.1%

      Death by internal haemorrhaging is horrific, but there’s nothing there that suggests it has anything to do with the mRNA shot. It might, but what is presented seems fairly useless to my layman’s interpretation. The bigger question is why these experimental therapeutics are being given en masse to a population that wasn’t at risk from the disease in the first place, but we understand the incentives there.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        -why these experimental therapeutics are being given en masse to a population that wasn’t at risk from the disease in the first place
        $$$$$$$$ and regulatory agency capture along with a desire to make life miserable to the perceived other is a heady mix.

      • juris imprudent

        Inculcating OBEDIENCE.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    How’s your arm feeling, UCS? A little sore?

    • UnCivilServant

      No, my arm is actually pretty good. My hands still have a few lingering hurts, but in the so mild it’s not a bother range.

    • Festus

      Mine still is. It’s been nearly a month since my second dose of their poison. Even dumber than ever since.

      • limey

        I figured he was asking because of the blacksmithing course he’s been on?

      • UnCivilServant

        I assume that’s the only reason anyone’s interested.

      • Not Adahn

        There’s not a betting pool as far as you know.

  17. Sensei

    A good Samaritan died after trying to save a man who fell on the subway tracks in New York City

    Good news is this happened in the Bronx. Otherwise Manhattan DA Bragg would have nobody to not press charges against in the assault that lead to the guy being on the tracks.

    • Chafed

      Small favors.

    • rhywun

      I have a crazy feeling that at least 3 of the other 4 DA’s aren’t any better. They just don’t make the news.

      • limey

        Bring back Arthur Branch.

  18. Plinker762

    On a Southwest flight. Apparently you are supposed to point to the beverage that you want on the menu. I wonder if I should make grunting sounds as I point.

    • Festus

      Pelvic thrusts.

  19. westernsloper

    and won the election despite having been found dead

    A result not found near enough in elections.

    • westernsloper

      Often enough? Fuck it.

      • Gender Traitor

        Close enough.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Funny you should ask.

    For most of my reporting career, to refer to some dispute or another — over a judicial nomination, perhaps, or an uproar over a proposed shopping mall near a battlefield — as “a new Civil War” was to reach for a metaphor.

    On the anniversary of the Jan. 6 insurrection at the Capitol, we mark the evolution of journalistic cliche: Serious people now invoke “Civil War” not as metaphor but as literal precedent.

    The Trump years, which it is now evident did not end with his presidency, have awakened a conflict so profound that, as in the 1860s, democracy, constitutional order and union itself are in peril.

    A big deal, indeed. But also a puzzle: If this is a 21st century version of 19th century disunion, shouldn’t it be more obvious what the war, at bottom, is all about?

    The Jan. 6 anniversary is a reminder that the chaos of the Trump years in one important respect — and perhaps only in one — is a historical anomaly. The country many times over has witnessed dissent and disruption far more violent than anything seen in recent years. But earlier episodes featured profound ideological and moral questions — easily visible to the naked eye, in the present and to historians afterward — that lay at the heart of the matter.

    The real Civil War was about slavery — at the start, to restrict its territorial expansion, by war’s end to eliminate it entirely. Capitalists opposed to the New Deal knew why they loathed FDR — he was fundamentally shifting the balance of power between public and private sectors — and FDR knew, too: “They are unanimous in their hate for me, and I welcome their hatred.” The unrest of the 1960s was about ending segregation and stopping the Vietnam War.

    Only in recent years have we seen foundation-shaking political conflict — both sides believing the other would turn the United States into something unrecognizable — with no obvious and easily summarized root cause. What is the fundamental question that hangs in the balance between the people who hate Trump and what he stands for and the people who love Trump and hate those who hate him? This is less an ideological conflict than a psychological one.

    Religious sectarianism.

    *Were the Trump years meaningfully “chaotic”? I just remember a lot of inchoate shrieking from Team Poor Loser.

    • Plinker762

      I think a lot of the northern soldiers fought for union, the didn’t care about slavery.

    • Festus

      They can’t even hear themselves. Nobody liked Trump but he was better than them. Gropy Joe has been a disaster and they just can’t let the fear go.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Not many of us really liked Trump but he did have a core cult of personality followers, as most presidents have. What’s more concerning to me though is how the left and some middle of the road Republicans threw their claimed principles into the garbage to get him and the people that don’t condemn him, which includes most of us by the way. It’s a mass psychosis.

      • juris imprudent

        their claimed principles

        bwahahahahahaha

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      between the people who hate Trump and what he stands for

      I’ve noticed the long expected shift from Trump to the population of non-progs has been ramping up of late. The “what he stands for” is interpreted by the Left as everything to the right of Mao.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If you don’t say he’s the worst ever you’re one of them. On the plus side, the camps we end up in will have diversity of opinion: everyone from Pat Buchanan and Jeff Deist to Jimmy Dore and Glenn Greenwald will be there.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Some people still can’t seem to grasp the idea that Trump’s presidency was a result of a growing distrust and disgust for media and the people who control our institutions and government itself, he wasn’t the cause.

      • robodruid

        He was a symptom of a very bad disease.

      • juris imprudent

        he wasn’t the cause.

        Make it go away. /whining fucking pissant progs

      • Chafed

        TH gets it.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    On a Southwest flight. Apparently you are supposed to point to the beverage that you want on the menu. I wonder if I should make grunting sounds as I point.

    Be sure to clap like a circus seal when she hands it to you.

    • juris imprudent

      Triggering! Jazz hands puh-lease.

      • Gender Traitor

        Jazz hands instead of applause? Stevie Wonder hardest hit.

  22. Ghostpatzer

    Mornin’, OM. I hadn’t heard that take on “I Talk to the Wind” before. I think I like the one on TCOTCK better, love the flute solo on that one.

    • Festus

      I jumped ahead. Will need to go back and check it out later today. For now, I go sleeping.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    I think a lot of the northern soldiers fought for union, the didn’t care about slavery.

    Whaaaa? They were, to a man, fire breathing Abolitionists, moved only by their righteous hatred of slavery.

    • juris imprudent

      …moved only by their righteous hatred of slavery.

      And their desire to live in harmony with their black brothers.

      • Don escaped Cancun

        Right; it’s like anything else: a single-cell cartoon stands avatar for a complex situation with roots that are as old as humanity, but let’s sum it up on a bumper sticker.

        My only beef with the revisionish: SLAVERY WAS LEGAL11!1!! Just like constitutional carry is redundant, so was constitutional slavery. How can they promote unpersoning GW01 because he was a slaveholder without acknowledging that such was perfectly legal….they’re the same people, can they not hear themselves? Slaveholders weren’t fringe elements. Weirder still: the CSA basically re-codified the Constitution (they seceded because they feared a change that would destroy slavery).

        So how do you federally outlaw slavery, then? Well, you don’t hafta burn down ATL to create and pass the 13A (or maybe that does help, but, if so argued, that would tacitly posit that the war was a partisan (even if humane) affair. Oh, I know: let’s wade through two years of military disaster to even dictate a military prohibition . . . hundreds of thousands are dying because reasons and we can’t be bothered to announce them (it)?

        THEN…….these great humanitarians and the central government and shiny military they had build went on to murder hundreds of thousand of people over the next 35 years. Take that, CSA: that’s how you humanitarian.

        From that WMD-class bait and switch, how you can infer that the civil war was anything other than a classic struggle over the meaning and consequences of federalism?

      • juris imprudent

        I was of course alluding to the significant Northern belief in repatriating blacks to Africa pre and post war. There were damn few that had any desire to treat former slaves as full citizens and equals. Gradually, the latter school of thought grew – but it was anything but dominant even up to the end of the war. And of course there were the Copperheads who were willing to allow the Confederacy to dissociate from the Union, neatly solving all problems.

        But yeah, that’s all too complex for simple Manichean minds.

      • Don escaped Cancun

        oh, that was certainly clear; we seldom disagree

        I was just laughing at the non-Glib norms

  24. Ghostpatzer

    No need to go to NYC for bagels, there is a local joint here with outstanding bagels. On the wall of this establishment is a photo of the owner with the Hedgehog. Coincidence?

    • Sensei

      Sonic or Ron?

      • Ghostpatzer

        Ron, of course ?

    • l0b0t

      And the best NYC bagels can not be found in Manhattan. Brooklyn’s La Bagel Delight, Queens’ All American Bagel & Barista, and Long Beach’s Max Bialystok & Company Bagel Store are the three places by which all other purveyors are judged.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Max Bialystok & Company Bagel Store

        Undoubtedly the producers of the best bagels, need to check it out.

  25. Chafed

    It’s good to see Jesse Jackson supporting the Chicago Teachers Union. I can’t imagine how many black parents are shaking their heads in disbelief. Maybe this will create a space for more charter schools in Chicago.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    WebDom managed to wreck on the ice

    Slip-and-fall wreck, or car-crash wreck?

    • Old Man With Candy

      Car crash wreck.

      • Gender Traitor

        I trust she’s OK, even if the car isn’t?

    • Fourscore

      I don’t want anyone to have either, I especially don’t want anyone to have a slip-and-fall wreck.

      Personal previous experience

  27. Tulip

    Beforeigners season two is out.

    • Old Man With Candy

      WOOOOOTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! Love that show.

    • Mojeaux

      Yay!!!!!!!

    • l0b0t

      Sweet! thanks for the heads up.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Has Bernie swooped in to show his solidarity with the teachers’ union?

    I’m sure the Friend-of-the-Working-Man-in-Chief will show up for a tour of the picket lines.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Kabuki theater, or minstrel show?

    “We are doubling down, kicking it into another gear, we are going right to the belly of the beast, or ground zero, for voter suppression, voter subversion and obstruction,” said Cedric Richmond, White House senior adviser and director of the Office of Public Engagement.

    What a stirring melodrama. Pantomime grand melee. Gooey death and gore everywhere. The ravens will feast.

    • Ted S.

      Or the Day of Mixed Metaphors?

    • rhywun

      Man, they really want Georgia.

      What happened to “Delaware already has more ‘restrictive’ voter ‘access’ than proposed in Georgia?”

      • Chafed

        That can’t be true. Biden rode Amtrack home to it for 35 years.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Car crash wreck.

    Bummer. Is she okay?

    • Raven Nation

      Based on Friday’s zoom report, yes.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Yeah, she’s OK. The car is a different matter.

      The walk from our front door to the car an hour ago belied the thread title. It was the perfect slip-and-fall hazard, a slick of water on top of sheets of ice.

    • Mojeaux

      Way to make me feel inadequate, Agent Sloper.

      • westernsloper

        I can’t do any of that stuff anymore either, but it is fun to watch.

    • Tundra

      Amazing editing!

      Thanks, ‘Sloper! That was fun as hell!

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Anybody who dares to reject the notion that Trump is the Devil incarnate, the personification of White Colonialist Oppression and the moral equivalent of a sucking chest wound in the Body Politic does not deserve to consider himself a true American, and should be purged.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    The world is nuts so here have 3 minutes of awesome.

    Wow. Thanks, Sloper.

    I should find some World Cup downhill to watch.

  33. UnCivilServant

    Ice must have gotten jealous of all the attention I’ve been paying to fire, because ice just tried to kill me.

    Apparently freezing rain rolled in overnight and left this perfect layer of invisible glaze ice on everything. Just enough that it looked wet rather than icy but had zero traction. This included my bottom step.

    It has been years since I slipped on ice and fell completely horizontal. Fortunately, I twisted to the side so that my head did not come into contact with my concrete steps. That would have ended badly. I guess I’m not going to the grocery store. At least I’m not going to the hospital either.

    • Sensei

      I did that about 10 years ago. Took me out for the day and had me hurting for a week.

      Feel better.

      • UnCivilServant

        I did go out and salt the ice, especially the steps. But it’s still raining.

        Right now my toe is complaining, but the rest of me doesn’t feel to bad. Don’t think I broke anything.

      • Fourscore

        UCS/Sensei, it only takes a slip and fall to do lasting harm. Be extra careful out there. It’s climate change.

        My doc told me “Your life will never be the same, don’t fall down”

        He is right on the first part, I have to do my part.

      • UnCivilServant

        I know how to walk on ice – provided I realize it is ice.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The secret is to never stop walking like you are on ice. It is all ice. Start waddling!

      • rhywun

        Two weeks to flatten the ice

      • Fourscore

        At least two mistakes with that. Walking too fast and some had hands in their pockets. We need our hands to help with the balance and maybe catch some of the fall.

        Having a fat ass is not going to protect you.

      • Fourscore

        Not directed at anyone in particular, just saying.

        Warm snow can be slick as hell too.

      • Don escaped Cancun

        “hands in their pockets”

        Be Prepared. I was on an aircraft carrier once where hands in pockets = gimme twenty.

      • Not Adahn

        What if it’s just one hand?

    • Not Adahn

      I’ve eaten my driveway enough to realize that I’ll have to retire somewhere else, or I’ll die here suddenly.

      • UnCivilServant

        There are plenty of reasons to retire outside of New York.

    • Gender Traitor

      Yikes! Glad your fall wasn’t any worse!

    • westernsloper

      Yikes. Not good. I had hopes to go do something outside today but I just went out for some firewood. I am not leaving the house for anything except firewood. It is too damn cold.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Damn. You dodged a bullet, glad it worked out OK.

    • Raven Nation

      My first winter in the US, it was raining one morning and I casually noticed that the temperature was about 30. Having never experienced freezing rain before, I went out to the parking lot walking fast. Did not end well.

      • Sensei

        Plus you were getting used to temperature measured in freedom units.

      • Don escaped Cancun

        I laughed

        Back in my automotive days, this time was spent putting finishing touches on test vehicles and driving to Minnesoda for winter test. Thermistors, data collection, start-up/heat-up tests, defrost tests……………..and fried walleye.

      • Raven Nation

        True. I’d never experienced sub-freezing temps before I came to the US.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Richmond said Biden’s address on Jan. 6 was a “down payment” as the president builds the case to the public that the foundations of the country’s democracy are under assault.

    He’s going to come out and say 50.1% of the voters (a small subset of the population at large) should not presume to have a mandate of totalitarian control of every aspect of life?

    That would be refreshing.

    • juris imprudent

      There is no democracy without Democrats in power, forever.

    • Homple

      They’ve had their Reichstag fire, now they’re drafting their Ermächtigungsgesetz.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Good to see that the Chinese have some competition for the title of Authoritarian Assholes in the region.

      Will pro tennis rally behind this like they did for that Chinese tennis gal?

      • rhywun

        That was #metoo. This is #jabsinarms. No contest.

        Various players are taking sides, though. Rafael Nadal already told him to shut up and submit, citizen. Some other lesser-knowns are taking Joker’s side.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I can’t say I know that much about the guy but he’s become my favorite professional athlete because of all of this. I don’t follow sports and don’t know whether he trends towards saint or asshole in his day to day life but his fight here has been admirable.

      • Chafed

        You may also want to check out Enes Kanter and Aaron Rogers.

    • rhywun

      Australia’s BioSecurity Act

      Aside from the fact that that’s not creepy at all, are we to believe that their parliament voted for this? I guess that’s better than the diktats we’re used to in the US.

      • rhywun

        On 25 April 2020, the Biosecurity (Human Biosecurity Emergency) (Human Coronavirus with Pandemic Potential) (Emergency Requirements—Public Health Contact Information) Determination 2020, made under subsection 477(1) of the Act, was signed into law by the Health Minister.

        I guess they’re not even hiding who really runs the country now.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Noooooooo!

    As America’s record Omicron surge continues, cities and states across the country have no cohesive strategy to monitor the results of at-home rapid COVID tests.

    Why it matters: This patchwork system means the official COVID case counts are almost certainly a vast undercount. Many cities don’t have an accurate sense of just how prevalent COVID is as they make decisions about mask mandates, school closures and other restrictions.

    Oh, no. How will we maintain our code red terrorganda if those dumb rubes won’t help us jack the numbers up? Next thing you know, people will start thinking they’ll just have to learn to live with it. And then where will we be?

  36. The Late P Brooks

    After being questioned by the Australian Border Force, the submission states that Djokovic’s exemption was determined to be invalid under Australia’s BioSecurity Act because his “previous infection with COVID-19 is not considered a medical contraindication for Covid-19 vaccination in Australia.”

    SCIENCE! runs counterclockwise in Australia.

  37. Sean

    Man, I dig the Comet channel, but it’s non stop prostate/ED commercials.

    • Drake

      Getting so that it’s hard to tell the difference between the fakers and the real heart attacks.

    • Not Adahn

      Can we talk about how racist the name “Rebel” is?

    • Ted S.

      She’s a TOSU fan. Why would you expect logic?

  38. The Late P Brooks

    HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS

    When the pandemic began, the CDC said COVID exposure was considered as 15 minutes or more less than six-feet away from someone infected with the virus. Health experts at UW Health say omicron doesn’t follow that rule.

    “It was under 15 minutes you were unlikely to get infected but I don’t think that message has necessarily been updated as we’ve had more contagious variants so like 15 Minutes is no longer at all pertinent. Right now, with omicron we don’t measure contact times in minutes it’s in seconds. If you’re around someone for 10-30 seconds who has omicron you’re exposed enough to get infected,” explained Pothof.

    ——-

    “It’s so contagious. So, instead of 100 people 1000 people are now infected. So, now it doesn’t matter that as a percentage it sends less people to the hospital the huge denominator, the huge number of people is actually driving hospitalizations up,” said Triplett.

    Hospitalizations doctors say you can prevent by wearing a mask, being vaccinated and getting tested to keep others safe.

    “Everybody has their own perspective on things but it’s always good to know especially if you’re going to be around a lot of people just to get tested just to make sure you’re not spreading it more than it already is,” said Triplett.

    One whiff and you’re a goner.

    But not before you kill hundreds of your friends and neighbors.

    • Sean

      *peeks out window*

      I see no dead bodies in the street.

    • juris imprudent

      Wait, they don’t have a model backing this up?

    • rhywun

      the huge number of people is actually driving hospitalizations up,

      Is it?

    • creech

      Omicron has just about used up its fifteen weeks of fame. Surely, there’s a new mutation out there that’s about to explode on America that “is resistant to the jab, contagious if you merely look at another person, and is sending hospitalizations soaring.” That should cover things until the election, so legislators can can the rules to allow us to vote by just picking up the telephone and pressing #1 for progress and compassion and #2 for white supremacist nutbag.

    • creech

      Misdemeanor – the shooter was an underprivileged yute. All kidding aside, why don’t employees being robbed just give the money to the robber? It isn’t like they are going to be out of pocket. With everyone “masked for safety,” it even makes it less likely the employee is going to be able to identify the shooter, so why shoot them in the first place? I suspect in many of these incidents, the cashier already knows who the robber is and is being shot to make sure they can’t testify.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Long Beach’s Max Bialystok & Company Bagel Store

    Does Zero Mostel get a royalty?

    • l0b0t

      Did Mostel and Sebastian Cabot ever work on the same project? I would love to see the two of them together.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Can we talk about how racist the name “Rebel” is?

    Worse than that, it implies refusal to blindly obey Authoritah. This cannot stand.

    • juris imprudent

      Amused by the memory from the 60s and 70s when being rebellious was considered one of the better things in life. Victorian England is beginning to look more free spirited than the society we are becoming.

      • limey

        #laudenumcrisis

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Wait, they don’t have a model backing this up?

    There is no need for a model.

    It’s plainly obvious to the most casual observer.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    When I emerge from my burrow in a little while, I will see my shadow. I’ve got that going for me, even though it’s about 18 degrees out there.

    • creech

      The “P” in your name is for Punxatawney?

  43. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    Time for Bernard Goetz to ride again, I think.

    • Not Adahn

      We’ve got the AIDS and crack analogues, might as well.

      • UnCivilServant

        I would have thought we already had one, albeit on foot in a riot.

    • rhywun

      I’m going with the 48 hour day rule until more info is released.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Lol

    • rhywun

      The changes follow the earmarking of the Who Am I? gallery for updates, with The Telegraph previously revealing that a cabinet on gender differences titled “Boy Or Girl?” was also up for review following “complaints about a lack of mention of transgender”.

      ??

      • Drake

        I look forward to learning about how Xi crossed Asia Minor into Europe during the Ice Age.

    • Not Adahn

      Whycome u no show African American Hittites?

      • UnCivilServant

        The lack of any americans in the bronze age?

      • UnCivilServant

        Come to think of it, no American ever lived in any bronze or iron age. The most advanced natively developed was a copper age that flared out, the rest got kicked from the stone age to the late pre-industrial by European immigration.

      • Drake

        Imagine how much more efficient they could have been with their human sacrifice.

  44. Ayn Random Variation

    Yes! It always bugged me that Lightfoot looked familiar but I couldn’t figure out who she looked like. Now I know!

    • rhywun

      You mean, besides Beetlejuice?

      • Drake

        Beetlejuice

      • Translucent Chum

        Sigh. Beetlejuice.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Last night I remarked to the True Believers that if new information is constantly coming out to refute what was said previously, then questioning what was said previously is not being a “science denier”. I continued, “Water freezing at 32 degrees is Science. It’s repeatable and no new information will come out to change that.”

      Glances were then exchanged and eyes were rolled dramatically.

      • creech

        Questioning science is science.