I was reminded this week that I’m living in Oberlin East. Here is a news story– not from this town, but one in the next county. Absolutely no connection to our town or any of the colleges and universities here. From what little has been released, there’s nothing here looking even vaguely like an actual crime. And even if it turns out there’s some minor crime not being talked about (on the order of spray paint), there’s no question that no one has been hurt or was in any actual danger. No violence and as far as can be seen from police statements, no property damage. Just pamphlets with doubleplusungood CrimeThink.

But of course, the University had to swing into action, because we can’t allow an opportunity to practice moral preening to pass us by, can we, Comrade? A letter immediately went out from the University president to all faculty and staff:

You likely have heard of the recent reprehensible incident in Hornell involving three white supremacists. Below please find a note sent yesterday by… our new vice president for Student Experience to our students about the incident.

Let us all use this opportunity to be there for each other and our broader community and to remember the commitment we share here… to inclusivity and education.  While others may seek to promote darkness it is our responsibility to illuminate hearts and minds.

And to the students:

It brings me sadness that my first student correspondence as the new Vice President for Student Experience is to share resources given an incident in Hornell where three individuals have been charged with felony aggravated harassment, accused of leaving pamphlets promoting white supremacy that included swastikas and racial epithets at several locations.  This heinous act hits close to home after just departing Buffalo, NY where 10 people, some beloved members of my former community, were senselessly murdered just because of the color of their skin.

Like Buffalo, I know that [our] community… stands in support of those groups targeted in the Hornell incident.  We cannot become numb or indifferent to these types of events and cannot allow ourselves to be quiet observers.  As members of the Alfred community, it’s our responsibility to denounce such acts of hate, racism, and intolerance.  Hate, racism, and intolerance have no place here, in our local communities, or in the world.  I applaud those that reported the preposterous acts of those arrested and the quick response from law enforcement to investigate the matter and make arrests.  I encourage each of you to be empowered individuals who contribute to a healthy diverse democracy.  We are stronger when we work together to eradicate the world of hate.

Please see below the resources available to our students should they be needed:

[list of contact information for counseling]

Because three people unconnected with the university left some pamphlets in the next county.

But it’s unfair to characterize these educrats as enablers of snowflake neuroticism.

Fuck it, birthdays today include the guy who inspired the character Biggus Dickus; a woman renowned for using natural selection to cull the herd; a woman whose name keeps coming up in NYT crossword puzzles; a guy who eventually made a wrong turn and didn’t ask directions; a guy who inspired a hilariously awful movie; the spiritual father of Louis Farrakhan; the hottest Jewess ever, with a trophy to prove it; an extremely fun SciFi writer; someone who proved that not all cops are bad; and a guy second only to Adam Sandler as a sure-fire sign that a movie will be awful.

Let’s get to the point, shall we?

 

And then he ordered the bombing of another wedding.

 

She had information that would lead to the arrest and conviction of Hillary Clinton.

 

OK, fess up, which of you is this?

 

Offering consumers an inexpensive and reliable alternative is unacceptable.

 

She is reliably delightful and entertaining.

 

The spin is even funnier than the fuckup.

 

Today’s Old Guy Music is a fun little song from what I think is Miles’s best album. Yes, better than Kind of Blue.