“Momadoobly,” Donald said. “Ma’am-haad-e,” the hair said carefully. “Mumhobby,” Donald spat out the word, like a cherry pit going for a record distance. “Who fucking cares?” USA hat hollared. “He’s a gotdamn furriner!” “Ignore him,” the hat said, “but he’s right.” “I...
She laid the osculum infame on him and his will drained away -- a tender kiss, nothing more, and he was lost. Her tail lashed him, cut him as they fucked, his soul forfeit. Without God all things are possible and all things permitted, she whispered. He went to her...
Ex-White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre left Democratic Party, publisher of her book says “Until January 20, I was responsible for speaking on behalf of the President of the United States,” Jean-Pierre, the first Black woman and openly gay person to hold the...
A very taciturn Secret Service agent drives you to the abandoned Postal Service sorting facility. He stops the Ford Expedition at the chained up gate, leaving the SUV running, headlights on. He opens the back door for you; there is no handle on the inside. “Please...
“No?” she screams. “You’re turning me down?!?” “I just, the President is just, like, right there,” you stammer, pointing at the bathroom. She moves closer and hisses, “Flyover faggot!” and swipes at your face with vicious salon nails, burning lines across your cheek...
You open the door a crack and peer in. The office is dim, just the mellow light of a lamp off to the side. You open the door wider and step in, quietly closing the door behind you. “OMG. You’re so right!” you hear a woman voice say. You realize her chair is turned...
You skulk around the edges of the intern and press pods swarming around each other like eels mating, looking for a way into the basement. The stairs present a blank concrete slab on the ground floor. The elevators are mobbed with people going to the roof to vape or...
“I knew we could count on you, Kyle.” The President gets up and begins pacing back and forth behind his desk. “Our intelligence resources have narrowed the location of the ballots to three places here in Washington. “Location One is an abandoned Post Office sorting...
A very taciturn Secret Service agent drives you to the Democratic National Convention headquarters and parks a number of blocks away. “C’mon, kid,” he says as he gets out of the car, “I got everything you need in the back.” You follow him around and he begins handing...
“Come back, young man, come back!” Kamala calls after you but you are running, feet slapping on the carpet. “Guards! Seize him!” she yells as you make it to the elevators. You push the down button frantically. “Guards?” she calls. “Where are my goddamn guards?!?” You...
Sick, Sick, Sick
“Twelve more years! Twelve more years!”
You got your big cheese and I got my…
Queer As Hat
The Stigma and The Silence of Afternoon Links
“Don’t cry for me, Argentina…”
Episode 170
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore, To one thing constant never.
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 168.5
“Ohhhh. Tentacles. N-T. Tentacles; big difference.”
Could have been worse, coulda been that guy with an eye looking out his butthole.
APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
Stain
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 167.5
(Joemala: Episode 8)
The worst part of the job.