COPE, The Musical Who Could Replace Graham Platner? Democrats’ brief experiment in letting their hair down and nominating a Senate candidate who makes them feel edgy has all but concluded. After a well-corroborated Politico story in which an ex claimed that Graham...
"Whoa, there, tough guy... Are you planning to rape me with your shuckin' dick?" "It’s hard to not be smug,” Lump purred. “I wanted Platner as my plaything in the Senate, but this will do nicely.” “I can excuse the Nazi tattoo, and the stalking, and the jacking off in...
“President Biden,” Hunter said dreamily. He was in his favorite tattered robe and he had been masturbating to pictures of his hottest cousin until Cracky made him as soft as steamed celery. “I could be the first President Biden.” “And we’ll fix that darn Reflecting...
“No?” she screams. “You’re turning me down?!?” “I just, the President is just, like, right there,” you stammer, pointing at the bathroom. She moves closer and hisses, “Flyover faggot!” and swipes at your face with vicious salon nails, burning lines across your cheek...
You open the door a crack and peer in. The office is dim, just the mellow light of a lamp off to the side. You open the door wider and step in, quietly closing the door behind you. “OMG. You’re so right!” you hear a woman voice say. You realize her chair is turned...
You skulk around the edges of the intern and press pods swarming around each other like eels mating, looking for a way into the basement. The stairs present a blank concrete slab on the ground floor. The elevators are mobbed with people going to the roof to vape or...
“I knew we could count on you, Kyle.” The President gets up and begins pacing back and forth behind his desk. “Our intelligence resources have narrowed the location of the ballots to three places here in Washington. “Location One is an abandoned Post Office sorting...
A very taciturn Secret Service agent drives you to the Democratic National Convention headquarters and parks a number of blocks away. “C’mon, kid,” he says as he gets out of the car, “I got everything you need in the back.” You follow him around and he begins handing...
“Come back, young man, come back!” Kamala calls after you but you are running, feet slapping on the carpet. “Guards! Seize him!” she yells as you make it to the elevators. You push the down button frantically. “Guards?” she calls. “Where are my goddamn guards?!?” You...
Sick, Sick, Sick
“Twelve more years! Twelve more years!”
You got your big cheese and I got my…
Queer As Hat
The Stigma and The Silence of Afternoon Links
“Don’t cry for me, Argentina…”
Episode 170
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more, Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore, To one thing constant never.
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 168.5
“Ohhhh. Tentacles. N-T. Tentacles; big difference.”
Could have been worse, coulda been that guy with an eye looking out his butthole.
APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
APPLAUSE
Stain
The Hat and The Hair: Episode 167.5
(Joemala: Episode 8)
The worst part of the job.
Cooking hot dogs with napalm.