“We will birth the Übermensch,” Laura whispered, toying with Ian’s deflated penis, the last watery semen drops mingling with her own erotic excretions. “I hope he has your bone structure,” Ian whispered back. “I love how I can see your skull.” “I should post about...
“It’s not my fault she looks like a pig!” Donald yelled. Karoline rubbed at her face and sighed. “She looks like a pig!” the hat said. “He said, ‘Peggy,’” the hair said. “Her name is Peggy, he said, ‘Quiet, quiet, Peggy.’” “She was being pig,” the hat said, “so she...
Globalize the Enchilada “Zohran,” the voice said. It was his mother’s voice. It was always his mother’s voice. “What?” he whispered. Rama rolled away from him, muttering something. “Zohran,” his mother’s voice crooned, “the Jew is about the land. You must stop him.”...
rise
I forget the movie song
Pop. Pop.
oh, yeah
Roll for initiative
so hot, so cold, so far, so out of control
The Golden Eagle
Bring me back today
Urine, feces, sterilizing fluids, and, bizarrely, pumpkins.
Can SugarFree ignore this? No, SugarFree cannot. Just like SugarFree has a hard time not talking about himself in the third-person!
“So, I do get to come to the Inauguration, right?” Elon asked. “Of course you do,” Donald said effusively. “You’re my favorite White person I know.” “Christ,” the hat said. “Four years of this shit.” “He keeps talking about Diablo II,” the hair said. “Bitch should be...
I’m on a ride and I want to get off
“You will rule Britain with an iron fist, my son,” Trump said. “They will be a vassal state. You will cleanse the land of rapists.” “Am I ready, Father?” Barron asked. “He should be a Baron,” the hair said. “Baron Barron sounds powerful.” “Archduke Barron, the...
proud patriotic music about America and dogs and Applebee’s. This wasn't something I just made up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_zuB-ogIBw Joe Rogan Has Been Dethroned on Spotify. His Successor’s Podcast is a Delight. What’s not to love about Kylie Kelce? She’s...
China!
I like the idea of Britain turning into Shelbyville. But we must protect our precious lemon tree. BritWar III if that's what it takes. https://twitter.com/Harry__Faulkner/status/1866496065295245511 What Nancy Mace’s Despicable Slur Will Cost Us Once upon a time,...
“Oh, Canada,” the hat sighed. “Stop, just stop,” the hair said. “Land of the unfree, home of the unbrave,” the hat trilled. “Jesus,” the hair spat in disgust. “From the heroin-washed shores of Vancouver to the heathen French of Montreal, I will save you,” the hat said...
https://www.cnn.com/2024/12/03/us/video/he-lead-chase-strangio-transgender-healthcare-treatments-youth-jake-tapper OK, I always support the funniest option: I want Thomas to start laughing as soon as this clown starts talking and just keep laughing the entire time.I'm...
“Bwa-ha-ha-ha,” Dark Cracky laughed, “Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.” Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha,” he continued, the deep, booming laugh filling the underground corridors of the tunnels under the White House....
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human stomach to digest all its contents. We live on at placid dinner table of ignorance in the midst of black seas of Thanksgiving, and it was not meant that we should buffet far. The food...
“Yes, Father,” Barron said. “I will eat of the bird and the tuber, the gooey starch and the flood berry, yea, the very gourd of the earth.” “Barron, my son,” Donald said. “Turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. We’re populists, men of the...
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