“It’s not my fault she looks like a pig!” Donald yelled. Karoline rubbed at her face and sighed. “She looks like a pig!” the hat said. “He said, ‘Peggy,’” the hair said. “Her name is Peggy, he said, ‘Quiet, quiet, Peggy.’” “She was being pig,” the hat said, “so she...
Globalize the Enchilada “Zohran,” the voice said. It was his mother’s voice. It was always his mother’s voice. “What?” he whispered. Rama rolled away from him, muttering something. “Zohran,” his mother’s voice crooned, “the Jew is about the land. You must stop him.”...
Woman Ordered Medicine by Mail, Got a Box of Human Fingers Instead A woman in Hopkinsville, Kentucky, was waiting for a shipment of medicine and medical supplies. When it finally arrived, she ripped the box open and found that it was filled with human arms and fingers...
zippers
it’s in the can
“Where will we go?” Hunter asked his only friend. “My father’s huge mansion? The underground jizz fountain I bought with my art sales?” “Fuck it,” Cracky said, “I’m not moving out.” “Cracky?” Hunter asked. “I’m not fucking going anywhere,” Cracky said. “But when Trump...
You wouldn’t know a diamond if you held it in your hand.
The Mandate of Heaven
“I WILL HAVE SEX WITH THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!” he shouted, his voice like thunder rolling across the loch. He walked into the cold, cold waters, his erection bobbing, and swam toward the floating mass in the loch, moss green, smooth. “John!” his wife cried, “Be...
JOY, damn you! JOY!
The Future
Will you stay down on your knees?
MMDA
manuscripts of unpublished rhyme
There’s no such thing as a digested lunch.
It’d be tragic if those evil robots win
Demographic are destiny
Eat it raw.
JOY
#blackpill
the worm speaks
The Beast That Shouted Joy at the Butthole of the World
“They are just going to keep trying until they kill you, Donald,” the hat said, as grave and serious as he ever managed to be. “Barron will be alone,” the hair said, agreeing. “He will grow up without a father.” “They fear me being President again,” Donald said. “They...
…and mean everything to me.
Get up on that old Dick, y’all.