“I love being hated,” the hat said. “The retarded parts of the country hate me. They should. I’d kill them all if I could.” “They hate Donald too,” the hair said sleepily. “It’s good to be hated by bad people,” the hat said. “I want to bathe in their agony and...
“They tried to kill me!” the hat screamed in the Presidential Beast as he and Donald and the hair drove back to the White House. “He tried to kill all three of us,” the hair said. His voice was shaky and tired. “Butler, the golf course, and now this shit!” “It took a...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n7eNFj_9Vk "Grill me, broil me, sear me on a griddle. I have such sights to show you! MEAT SIGHTS!" "I don't care that it's black as long as it looks classy. It looks classy, right? I'm going to fuck Dick Cheney with it." My Dad Used...
“Bitch, you know I don’t play!” Jasmine screamed, reaching for Sandy’s hair. “Imma rip dat wig offa yo head!” Sandy screamed as Jasmine tore at her hair. “Drop the act, Jas,” Rashida said, looking over the tiny screen of her beeper. “It’s fun,” Jasmine said, letting...
Soo-baroo
Controversies
BEGONE!
Let's check in on Slate... The Women Who Wanted to Leave Their Husbands Over Politics For a few glimmering moments in 2024, it seemed as if white women—Trump’s second-biggest voting bloc, who are often married to white men, his first-biggest voting bloc—were going to...
That’s, like, so meta.
We look divine
“LSD orgy!” Warty screamed as he dived into the pile of entangled limbs and swollen genitalia. He swatted away jutting penises as he pulled himself over the undulating surface, toward the upraised buttocks of a Checkerboard Lady. The tangled delight of her labia...
literally cried, like big trembling tears
rise
I forget the movie song
Pop. Pop.
oh, yeah
Roll for initiative
so hot, so cold, so far, so out of control
The Golden Eagle
Bring me back today
Urine, feces, sterilizing fluids, and, bizarrely, pumpkins.
Can SugarFree ignore this? No, SugarFree cannot. Just like SugarFree has a hard time not talking about himself in the third-person!
“So, I do get to come to the Inauguration, right?” Elon asked. “Of course you do,” Donald said effusively. “You’re my favorite White person I know.” “Christ,” the hat said. “Four years of this shit.” “He keeps talking about Diablo II,” the hair said. “Bitch should be...
I’m on a ride and I want to get off
“You will rule Britain with an iron fist, my son,” Trump said. “They will be a vassal state. You will cleanse the land of rapists.” “Am I ready, Father?” Barron asked. “He should be a Baron,” the hair said. “Baron Barron sounds powerful.” “Archduke Barron, the...