Now it is 1984Knock-knock at your front doorIt's the suede denim secret police Kemptville, Ont. grocer seen selling American wine despite U.S. liquor banA grocery store south of Ottawa has removed its stock of California wines from its shelves after customers raised...
Verity Trueheart ran as if someone was chasing her. She was a gangly girl with bright green hair who believed abortion was a human right and the cruel regime of her stepfather wanted to oppress her. She ran from The Beast, with his bulging muscles and manly sweat. She...
“Thousands of eggs?” Sandy asked. “Thousands,” the doctor said gravely. “Woo!” Sandy crowed, “I’m the egg queen!” “No, ma’am,” her emotional support intern said, shrugging in her leashed harness, “it’s a dangerous medical condition.” “You are experiencing a condition...
“It’s horrible, it’s terrible, and most of all it’s just a goddamn shame,” the hat said. “I know, I know,” the hair said. “It’s just awful.” “What are you two on about?” Donald asked. The sharp crack of his first can of Diet Coke of the day was as comforting to him as...
“We’re at war, we’re at war!” the hat squealed happily. He made whooshing jet plane noises for a full thirty seconds. “This is not a good thing,” the hair said. “Since when did you get all bleeding heart fag about it?” “I’ve told you before, I’m an isolationist.” “And...
“DONALD!” “Wot inna bloody ‘ell is all this then?” the hat asked in his sleepy bedtime voice. “DONALD!” The hair groaned and stretched on his perch. “It’s fucking Elon.” “DONALD!” “What does it take for this guy to get a hint?” Donald asked, getting out of bed and...
Habiba Soliman wanted to be a doctor. Then, her father firebombed Jewish marchers in Boulder She moved to the United States with a dream of studying medicine. She had stepped off her high school graduation stage in May. Then her father, Mohamed Soliman, drove from...
“Father, where is Uncle Elon?” Barron asked, in the baboon-hot Oval Office. Donald looked up from the book he was reading, and said, “I’m sure he’s somewhere, son.” “But I looked, Father. The DOGE office is empty, and he hasn’t invited me to play Dungeons and Dragons...
Passenger arrested for ‘smacking’ boy who called her ‘fat’ and ‘Miss Piggy’ on flight home from Disney trip A female passenger has been charged with child abuse for attacking a child who had called her “fat” and “Miss Piggy” on a flight home from Disney World,...
The Cast21 Unexpected Heavy Hitters for a Democratic Shadow Cabinet “Can we at least turn some damn lights on?” Letitia asked. “No,” Mark said, “We are the shadow cabinet and I like applesauce.” “We should use green energy,” Freddie said. The assorted Johns chorused...
Who were the ancient Denisovans? Fossils reveal secrets about the mysterious humans It was the finger seen around the world. In 2008, archaeologists working in Denisova Cave in southern Siberia, Russia, uncovered a tiny bone: the tip of the little finger of an ancient...
Theology.
this is drake's fault "Whoopi! Whoopi!" the natives cried as they circled the young sacrifices. "I lobe you, Dabid," Sandy said around her broken noise. "You have a vagina!" David said, aghast. "I could never date anyone with a swamp monster!" Joy drove a...
Selections.
Rich.
Uh, oh. The people that fucking complain about every are fucking complaining again. Those Trump Boy are in a big heap of trouble this time. What have these first harried months of this second Trump presidency brought? How do we process the mass dismantling we have all...
Donald sat in The Oval Office, tapping a sealed envelope against the surface of his desk. When Barron entered, Donald’s face split with a smile. “Father!” said the giant young man, “I came as soon as I received your summons!” “A dutiful son is a price above rubies,”...
Donald sat at the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office and looked at the hat and the hair before him. The hat sat calmly, but the hair twitched and fidgeted. “Elon says you don’t exist,” Donald said to them. “Of course I exist,” the hat said. “Look at me. Tell me I don’t...
Adventures in ChatGPT. Our intrepid Heroic Mulatto decided to have ChatGPT scrape Reason Hit&Run comments and then generate reports on various commenters. This is the one it assembled on me. I am very flattered. (No, I did not write this.) He generated a number of...
Today, in traitors news...Supreme Court upholds regulation on “ghost guns” The Supreme Court on Wednesday upheld a Biden-era rule regulating so-called “ghost guns” – untraceable weapons without serial numbers, assembled from components or kits that can be bought...
“Bitch, you know I don’t play!” Jasmine screamed, reaching for Sandy’s hair. “Imma rip dat wig offa yo head!” Sandy screamed as Jasmine tore at her hair. “Drop the act, Jas,” Rashida said, looking over the tiny screen of her beeper. “It’s fun,” Jasmine said, letting...
Soo-baroo
Controversies
BEGONE!
Let's check in on Slate... The Women Who Wanted to Leave Their Husbands Over Politics For a few glimmering moments in 2024, it seemed as if white women—Trump’s second-biggest voting bloc, who are often married to white men, his first-biggest voting bloc—were going to...