Taking the plunge – and marrying a river There’s something afoot in the woods today. Bubble-headed humanoid figures bump clumsily through the trees, making their way down to the water’s edge accompanied by flute and drum. Here comes Frog, with bulgy red eyes, followed...
“I got them jugs!” Bryon yelled as he chased Kristi through the house, his enormous breasts swaying queasily. “Fuck off, Byron!’ Kristi yelled, picking up a sugar bowl and throwing it at his head. She missed and it bounced off of his watermelon breasts. “Look at...
Top US Fema official claims to have teleported to a Waffle House before A far-right conspiracy theorist turned high-ranking official at the US Federal Emergency Management Agency (Fema) claims to have once teleported to a Waffle House. Gregg Phillips, who in December...
“Bwa-ha-ha-ha,” Dark Cracky laughed, “Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.” Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha,” he continued, the deep, booming laugh filling the underground corridors of the tunnels under the White House....
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human stomach to digest all its contents. We live on at placid dinner table of ignorance in the midst of black seas of Thanksgiving, and it was not meant that we should buffet far. The food...
“Yes, Father,” Barron said. “I will eat of the bird and the tuber, the gooey starch and the flood berry, yea, the very gourd of the earth.” “Barron, my son,” Donald said. “Turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. We’re populists, men of the...
Due to simple human error, no links for you.OPEN POSTDO YOUR WORST
zippers
it’s in the can
“Where will we go?” Hunter asked his only friend. “My father’s huge mansion? The underground jizz fountain I bought with my art sales?” “Fuck it,” Cracky said, “I’m not moving out.” “Cracky?” Hunter asked. “I’m not fucking going anywhere,” Cracky said. “But when Trump...
You wouldn’t know a diamond if you held it in your hand.
The Mandate of Heaven
“I WILL HAVE SEX WITH THE LOCH NESS MONSTER!” he shouted, his voice like thunder rolling across the loch. He walked into the cold, cold waters, his erection bobbing, and swam toward the floating mass in the loch, moss green, smooth. “John!” his wife cried, “Be...
JOY, damn you! JOY!
The Future
Will you stay down on your knees?
MMDA
manuscripts of unpublished rhyme
There’s no such thing as a digested lunch.
It’d be tragic if those evil robots win
Demographic are destiny
Eat it raw.
JOY
#blackpill
the worm speaks