Verity Trueheart ran as if someone was chasing her. She was a gangly girl with bright green hair who believed abortion was a human right and the cruel regime of her stepfather wanted to oppress her. She ran from The Beast, with his bulging muscles and manly sweat. She...
Ova.
“I am not thinning!” the hair said, quivering with rage like angry Jello. “We all saw the pictures,” the hat said. “Bad lighting!” the hair protested. “Or maybe AI!” “Aging doesn’t have to be a bad thing, you know,” the hat said, letting pity tinge his words. “We’re...
That’s, like, so meta.
We look divine
“LSD orgy!” Warty screamed as he dived into the pile of entangled limbs and swollen genitalia. He swatted away jutting penises as he pulled himself over the undulating surface, toward the upraised buttocks of a Checkerboard Lady. The tangled delight of her labia...
literally cried, like big trembling tears
rise
I forget the movie song
Pop. Pop.
oh, yeah
Roll for initiative
so hot, so cold, so far, so out of control
The Golden Eagle
Bring me back today
Urine, feces, sterilizing fluids, and, bizarrely, pumpkins.
Can SugarFree ignore this? No, SugarFree cannot. Just like SugarFree has a hard time not talking about himself in the third-person!
“So, I do get to come to the Inauguration, right?” Elon asked. “Of course you do,” Donald said effusively. “You’re my favorite White person I know.” “Christ,” the hat said. “Four years of this shit.” “He keeps talking about Diablo II,” the hair said. “Bitch should be...
I’m on a ride and I want to get off
“You will rule Britain with an iron fist, my son,” Trump said. “They will be a vassal state. You will cleanse the land of rapists.” “Am I ready, Father?” Barron asked. “He should be a Baron,” the hair said. “Baron Barron sounds powerful.” “Archduke Barron, the...
proud patriotic music about America and dogs and Applebee’s. This wasn't something I just made up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_zuB-ogIBw Joe Rogan Has Been Dethroned on Spotify. His Successor’s Podcast is a Delight. What’s not to love about Kylie Kelce? She’s...
China!
I like the idea of Britain turning into Shelbyville. But we must protect our precious lemon tree. BritWar III if that's what it takes. https://twitter.com/Harry__Faulkner/status/1866496065295245511 What Nancy Mace’s Despicable Slur Will Cost Us Once upon a time,...
“Oh, Canada,” the hat sighed. “Stop, just stop,” the hair said. “Land of the unfree, home of the unbrave,” the hat trilled. “Jesus,” the hair spat in disgust. “From the heroin-washed shores of Vancouver to the heathen French of Montreal, I will save you,” the hat said...
https://www.cnn.com/2024/12/03/us/video/he-lead-chase-strangio-transgender-healthcare-treatments-youth-jake-tapper OK, I always support the funniest option: I want Thomas to start laughing as soon as this clown starts talking and just keep laughing the entire time.I'm...