“We’re at war, we’re at war!” the hat squealed happily. He made whooshing jet plane noises for a full thirty...

“DONALD!” “Wot inna bloody ‘ell is all this then?” the hat asked in his sleepy bedtime voice. “DONALD!” The...

“Father, where is Uncle Elon?” Barron asked, in the baboon-hot Oval Office. Donald looked up from the book he...

“I love you,” Donald crooned, cradling the cheeseburger in his hands like a small dove. “He’s talking to his...

“I demand you take me to the underground city of rich people!” Donald yelled. “Mr. President…” Karoline...

Donald sat in The Oval Office, tapping a sealed envelope against the surface of his desk. When Barron...

Donald sat at the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office and looked at the hat and the hair before him. The hat sat...

“We should start destroying Subarus,” the hat said to Donald, his words slithering into Donald’s ears like a...

“Will no one rid me of this troublesome Thomas Massie?” Donald asked, brow-weary. “He’s never respected...

“I want to tweet,” Donald grumbled. “OK,” the hat said, “Call the Social Media Coordinator.” “I don’t they...