OK, well maybe not this year.

 

“Court Astrologer,”

“Yes, M’lud?”

“Why did you not warn me of this plague?”

“Plague, M’lud?”

“Yes, you pointy-hatted pipsqueak!  The Plague!  The one everybody’s talking about!  The constant clamor of court gossip!  The singers’ sole subject!  The hoopla that the heralds are harping on!”

“The stars show no plague, M’lud.”

“And yet all the land is in turmoil over it!  Explain that!”

“Turmoil, yes M’lud.  Jupiter and Saturn aligned with Mars means turmoil o’er all the lands.  But no plague.  The stars say turmoil.  Turmoil without cause.  Turmoil because there is turmoil for the sake of turmoil.”

“You are becoming less entertaining than your execution would be.  Far less entertaining than watching you being beaten would be.  Roderick!  Assemble a beating detail!”

“M’lud, perhaps you would like to hear what the stars are saying about this turmoil?”

“Plague, Court Astrologer.  The beatingsmen seem to have misplaced their hickory branch.  You have until they procure a new one. ”

“Yes M’lud, I did mention about how this… event is the result of Mars Jupiter and Saturn.  Well, they are moving into a pair of conjunctions. Mars will conjoin with Jupiter around the 22nd of this month, so the greatest governmental spasms will occur with that.  Then on the 31st, Mars will move into conjunction with Saturn.  That should be the point of greatest distress for this event.”

“Those three planets seem to be causing a lot of problems.”

“The son who gelded his father who tried to eat the son.  And Mars is also a dick.”

Fin

Venus moves through Taurus, so those of you who enjoyed that last week will get it again (IYKWIMAIKTYD) this week.  Mercury is in Aquarius, with the unmistakable references to thermometers and phlegm.  Poor Pisces is completely robbed of support planets this week, though it will pick Mercury in its luck aspect before the sun moves on.  The moon is in Sagittarius, so this is a particularly good time for making predictions.

The cards are not so wonderful this week.  We’ve got the Hermit indicating people going into isolation, Judgement reversed indicating mistakes, and of course the Big D.  Plus with 3/4 of the cards being reversed is just generally bad.

Pisces: 2 of Cups reversed – Wasteful relationships, sterility, misallocation of resources, spilled wine

Aries:  7 of Swords – Good advice, counsel, instruction, slander, babbling

Taurus:  9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity

Gemini:  Ace of Swords reversed – Various disasters, the fall of a king, conception, childbirth, augmentation, multiplicity

Cancer:  The Hermit – Prudence, circumspection, treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption

Leo:  Ace of Coins  – Perfect contentment, felicity, ecstasy, speedy intelligence, gold

Virgo:  10 of Wands reversed – Contrarieties, difficulties, intrigues, and their analogies

Libra:  Judgement reversed – Weakness, pusillanimity, simplicity, deliberation, decision, sentence

Scorpio:  Death – End, mortality, destruction, corruption

Sagittarius:  Page of Cups reversed – Taste, inclination, attachment, seduction, deception, artifice

Capricorn:  10 of Coins reversed – Chance, fatality, loss, robbery, games of hazard, gift, dowry, pension

Aquarius:  9 of Coins reversed – Roguery, deception, voided project, bad faith