Harlow

I’ve got no sports today. Almost nothing of note happened yesterday and I doubt it’s enough to fill a paragraph.  If you’ve got something, talk about it in the comments, but I’m moving on to birthdays. Alexander Graham Bell starts theist off.  He shares it with baseball player Wee Willie Keeler, Italian con-man Carlo Ponzi, sexpot Jean Harlow, Star Trek’s James Doohan, singer Re Styles, football and bobsled legend Herschel Walker, “rapper” Tone Loc, and the lovely Jessica Biel.  That list was as skimpy as the sports.

Biel

Let’s see if we can overcome this weak start and find a nice selection of news for…the links!

Chris Matthews calls it quits in the face of sexual harassment claims. Dude has a serious tingle up his leg issue. Fortunately he has enough free time to see a doctor for it.

Praying for Nashville. I guess they’ll be blaming it on global warming climate change climate chaos this morning. Because tornados never happened before.

One of these guys is irrelevant. The other has no idea where he is.

The Dem establishment finally got their shit together to stop Bernie. But is it too late? Will they be defeated because they’re hypocrites? Does any of this matter, since Trump’s real opponent is the coronavirus? Why do I keep asking questions?

Wait, some sensible advice from the government? Holy shit, it is! Color me shocked.  But don’t worry, when this is over, the Surgeon General will probably be telling us vape pods are the devil.

Wait, what the fuck is this? They were going to make public every person who had an interest in a private business just because of what that business was?  Sorry, but that sounds a little fucked up.  The government has no business making public the records of private entities.

Wait, what the fucking fuck is this shit? Just for comparison, Roger Stone got  4.5 times this sentence for lying to congress.

Looks like Apple is gonna be ponying up for throttling speeds on old phones. Don’t care, because I upgrade my phone every time a new one comes out, suckers!  Hey wait, maybe I’m the sucker…

Um, how you gonna fight it, with really small bullets? Oh, it’s Iran. So they’ll just shoot anybody who might have contracted it.

Hadn’t heard this in a while. And if you hadn’t either, well now you have.

Now go have a great day, friends!