Playing like ass

Maryland and Kentucky went down to lesser foes yesterday, while Sparty fought back from a huge deficit to beat back Penn State. An heavy slate of NHL games resulted in the following winners: Montreal, St Louis, Pittsburgh, Boston, the MINNESOOOODA WIIIIILD!, Winnipeg, Chicago, Edmonton, Vegas, and San Jose. And across the pond, Liverpool continued their recent run of form and lost to lowly Chelski in the FA Cup.  Other winners were Sheffield United and Newcastle, with a large slate of Cup games today.

Underrated great

Brilliant Italian composer Vivaldi was born on this day. He shares it with such luminaries as Austrian chemist Karl Bayer, Magicians Guild founder Theodore Hardeen, Romanian diplomat Nicolae Titulescu, Knute Rockne (All-American), racer driver (and likely moonshiner) Buck Baker, pyramid scheme founder Richard DeVos, car designer Ed “Big Daddy” Roth, actress Paula Prentiss, Yes bassist Chris Squire, Liverpool soccer legend Kenny Dalglish, actress Patricia Heaton, boxer Ray “Boom Boom” Mancini, Metallica bassist Jason Newsted, gender bender Chaz Bono, Buckeye and Minnesota Viking great Robert Smith, and douchy NBA player Draymond Green.

Now let’s get on with…the links!

Truth in advertising

Joe Biden ran up some serious numbers on Bernie Sanders on Super Tuesday. And then he promptly confused his wife for his sister on stage. Of course, he started the day by sniffing a baby, which should surprise nobody anymore.

Yes, that counts as three links.The race is on to get coronavirus tests ready as the death toll in the US Washington State reaches nine. Also, cases are being reported in several large urban areas now, so it’s probably reached the tipping point as to possible containment.

You’d think this nation would have more of a sense of humor. But I guess if I came from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Cymry, I’d have a stick up my ass as well. Maybe collectively eat a snickers, ok guys?

This is more of a marketing link than a news link. But fuck it, we all deserve to add a little light to our pets’ live.

Who the hell orders wings from a Checkers? No wait, who the hell would order food from a Checkers?

Chicagoland government officials fail to stop financial enterprise. So I guess the key to beating the grifters is to be religious?

I’d say this is probably true. I just hope this blows the lid off what everybody deep-down knows has been the status-quo for decades.

If you’ve always wanted to live in a $250k shed, now’s your chance!

I wonder why they didn’t list the per unit price? Probably because it would expose the real villains: governments who have restricted private enterprise from correcting the market the governments have fucked up for decades.

Of course the taxpayers will foot the bill for this lazy fuck’s mistake. I mean, by this dumbasses logic, nobody unconscious could ever get an ambulance. Christ, what an asshole.

Love those horns. Now I can be-bob through the day, knock on wood.

Get out there and get over the hump, friends. I’m off to Kansas for 9 days of boredom.