Some of you have been treating Links like they’re your personal little joke parlor. Stories of death, danger, and destruction, and all you can do is make fun. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

But some people, despite the shame, managed to be born on August 2nd, and that list would include a guy whose vision turned a swamp into a Swamp; a guy whose name still makes me flinch from unhappy memories; New York’s favorite decorator; one of the (((brothers))); one half of the most legendary detective team; another shithead who was a pretty fine actor; the guy responsible for some of the finest music from the 1960s; Paul Ryan’s spirit animal; someone who badly wanted to be Judy Holliday; and another asshole who was a terrific filmmaker.

And with that, the news. Which I expect all of you to treat with the seriousness and gravity that it deserves.

 

SugarFree’s spirit animal has passed to a different plane of existence.

 

This is not what we mean by gun control.

 

I love the idea of buying votes with the money extracted from us by force.

 

I just want my popcorn.

 

NFL gives another “fuck you” to their fan base. Which no longer includes SP and me.

 

“What, this is a problem?”

 

Pro-talismask congressman gets the vid. But that’s totally different than the anti-talismask congressmen getting the vid.

 

Old Guy Music is an old guy, making a few bucks at a restaurant. I’d have slipped him a twenty.