The power couple with the unusually named daughters have quietly retired to their cabin to see if they can make any more. They’re as bad as that Connie Barrett woman I keep hearing about, something about a judge. So y’all are stuck with my meager selection today. I’ll try my best to pare it down to interesting ones.

Speaking of interesting ones, there are interesting birthdays today, and those include a guy to whom we’re indebted for the oldest and worst pun involving rabbits;  a guy who many think ruined architecture; a woman who personified, “If it happens in Vegas, it stays in Vegas”; the original ignorant slut; the greatest wrestler ever, bar none; a guy who was a real blast; a Ferenghi; one of the few remaining honest liberals who won’t shut up (and that’s a good thing); and Team Red’s Gabby Gifford, but with a full brain.

Let’s talk news now.

 

I, for one, look forward to our Ministry for the Propagation of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice.

 

Speaking of which, here’s Creepy Joe!

 

This shouldn’t make me laugh.

 

This looks like pure Preet-level prosecutorial dickishness. Woodchipper needed.

 

“I’m calling a lid.”

 

Jesus H. Titty-fucking Christ.

 

Look, Crump is the black Gloria Allred, but still, these cops should be prosecuted. They staged a home invasion.

 

Old Guy Music today is craven. I was not a fan of Eddie Van Halen and am still not. His music didn’t move me at all and still doesn’t. I get through about a minute and just walk away. But everybody is expecting a Van Halen song today because the dude snuffed it, so I’ll cough up this furball. And wish that every time he did the tapping thing, he’d toss a few bucks at this guy.