SACRAMENTO, CA — Election monitors in California discovered a massive error in the 2020 election, which caused several million Biden votes from other states to accidentally be recorded in California’s total votes. “We figured that there might have been some sort of error after we noticed Trump had still won several states,” said DNC election engineer Pat Cromulent, whose pronouns are smurf and snork. “What we discovered was that, due to human error, several million Biden votes in California were actually meant to be recorded in other states like Alabama, Texas, Utah — basically other states where Trump had seemingly won. Once we tracked it down we were able to properly reallocate those votes where they needed to be.”
After this minor and innocent error was corrected, Joe Biden won the 2020 election in a historic landslide, winning every state in the union. California’s vote total remained in Biden’s favor by just a large enough margin to avoid an automatic recount. Democrats hailed his victory as a clear mandate to begin forming the Union of Socialist States of America.
“We think there may have been a similar error in the House and Senate races,” Cromulent noted, while filling out mail-in ballots for the runoff elections in Georgia, “So we’re hard at work making sure we track down where each Democrat vote should be. Then we’re confident the will of the people will be heard.”