It’s been another week of eating like a pig.  My birthday is today and various people in my life have wanted to celebrate.  It’s been sweet and I’m touched.  I’m also stuffed with sugar and feel like junky who needs to kick the habit.

Knowing I need to work off the pounds I’ve undoubtedly gained, I started to think about the various forms of conditioning the Glibberati have reported doing.  More specifically, how many calories they require.  Behold the results of my research:

Walking  ​​200-300 calories/hour

Swimming  ​​528 calories/hour (assumes medium speed crawl)

Running​​  800 calories/hour(assumes 8 MPH pace)

Cycling​​  500 calories/hour

Rowing​​  600-800 calories/hour

Jumping Rope​​  600-900 calories/hour

All these figures are dependent on your weight and exercise intensity.  Most of the reported figures are for a 140-pound person.  For many of you MLWs these may be reasonable estimates.  For the rest of us, there is a good chance the hourly rates likely go up.

I’m afraid to step on the scale to see how much damage has been done.  I suspect I have many hours ahead of me to get back to where I was not too long ago.

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Completely off topic, I must recognize the genius that is David Hasselhoff.  Since discovering the Baywatch channel (yes, an entire channel) on my TV, I’ve been hooked.  This show is unbelievably dumb.  The acting peaks at mediocre.  I think half the actresses were cast because they appeared in Playboy.  But… it is relentlessly upbeat.  And it has great eye candy.  So, I pronounce it GlibFit approved.

Do not post any “where are they now” photos.  Time has not been kind to some of the cast.

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Now back to our regularly scheduled rant.  Motherfucking (that’s our new name for Governor) Gavin Newsom is once again shutting down our state.  You can read the order here if you have an empty stomach.  This is literally a stay at home order.  I did it once.  I’m not doing it again.

The only interesting part of this is there are areas where ICU capacity is running over 85%.  You know what I don’t know because reporters are unbelievably lazy?  How much capacity is normally used.  How easy or difficult it is to expand capacity.  How this affects the medical staff in the ICU.  What our state government has done, or failed to do, for this long feared second wave.  It is entirely possible the answers to these questions support the motherfucker’s order.  But I can’t find a single news report that answers these questions.

But we shouldn’t worry. The order only lasts for three weeks.  Yeah, sure.

This week’s music link.