41-Year-Old GOP Congressman-elect Dies of COVID-19

The story has been going around. I just put a link so that you can jump to the comments and watch Slaties touching themselves and groaning in pleasure that this poor guy died. And the ones hoping his wife dies too.

You stay classy, Slate.


 

Japanese Researchers Are Making Wooden Satellites Because We Have a Space Trash Problem 

Floating around the Earth is a bunch of satellites. Cool for GPS, monitoring weather patterns, and the internet—not so cool for space junk. This is why Sumitomo Forestry and Kyoto University are teaming up to create the world’s first wooden satellites by 2023.

You might think metal satellites burn up on re-entry, but as it turns out, it’s not that simple. “We are very concerned with the fact that all the satellites which re-enter the Earth’s atmosphere burn and create tiny alumina particles which will float in the upper atmosphere for many years,” Takao Doi, an astronaut and Kyoto University professor, told the BBC when speaking about the project. “Eventually it will affect the environment of the Earth.”

How delightfully twee. Japanese hipsters in sock-caps recycling barn wood into Wes Anderson satellites, Beatles covers playing in the background. Gwyneth Paltrow shits in it and off it goes on a bespoke rocket that runs on yarn.


 

Nurse suspended after stripping off PPE to have sex with COVID-19 patient

A male nurse in Indonesia has been suspended after admitting that he stripped off his personal protective equipment to have sex in a toilet with a man infected with COVID-19, according to reports.

“It is true that there has been a suspected incident of a same-sex relationship between a health worker and a COVID-19 patient at the Wisma Atlet Emergency Hospital,” said Asep Gunawan of the National Nurses Association.

He said the nurse “must follow legal processing,” the Indonesia Expat reported.

The incident in Jakarta came to light when the patient boasted about the romp on his Twitter account Friday, according to the UK’s Sun.

He uploaded a screenshot of WhatsApp messages between the horny couple — including details about lubricants and the size of their genitals, the news outlet reported.

The patient also posted an image of the nurse’s PPE lying on the floor as the pair got it on.

What’s worse, they danced on TikTok afterward.