Where do we go next?  That would be citrus (for juice and zest) and liqueurs (flavored infusions – usually used as an accent flavor).  As I promised old and forgotten drinks today, we’re going to two that I picked for the name alone, and one for history.  All of these are gin based, but you can always swap out your clear liquors.

To begin making any of these cocktails, the first thing you need to know is how much liquid your glass holds.  Make sure not to fill it all the way up to the rim, that’s begging for a spill and wasted alcohol.  After you’ve measured out the amount that your glass holds, you want to fill it with ice water to chill it down (or keep it in the freezer if you have copious freezer space).  After that, fill your shaker with ice, and we’ll start building the cocktails.

Satan’s Whiskers

This is a fun one, but one I very rarely order out, as it’s a six ingredient drink and is usually mistaken for some new trendy drink.  There’s history for it that goes back to the 1930’s.  There’s two options for it, either straight or curled:

  • 2 part gin
  • 1 part Grand Marnier (straight)/1 part Orange Curacao (curled)
  • 2 part sweet vermouth
  • 2 part dry vermouth
  • 2 part Orange Juice (fresh squeezed is better)
  • 2 dashes Orange Bitters

Fill your shaker with ice, add the ingredients, and shake until the outside of the shaker starts getting frosty.  Dump out the ice water in your cocktail glass, and strain in the cocktail.  Garnish is traditionally a twist of expressed orange peel.

As a side note, if you really must, you can substitute Blue Curacao for the Orange Curacao, but I will warn you that the color of the drink will no longer be appealing.

Monkey Gland

Come on… it’s called the MONKEY GLAND!  The history for this one goes back to the 1920’s, and it’s got a great name.  This one requires a little bit of extra work and a touch of a more exotic mixer (and a glass wash, which I’m not a big fan of in general).

  • 8 parts gin
  • 4 parts Orange Juice
  • 1 part Grenadine
  • Dash of Absinthe – to wash the glass

Fill your shaker with ice, add all of the ingredients except the Absinthe to the shaker.  Shake until the outside of the shaker starts to frost, set aside for a moment.  Dump out the ice water, put the Absinthe into the glass, and swirl to coat.  Dump out any excess (this is why I generally eschew glass washes), and strain the shaker into the glass.  Garnish with an orange wheel.

We’ve got one more drink to go, but I’m sure there’s a couple people wondering about this whole part thing.  This is why you need to know what your glass holds.  I know what my glasses hold, and what will fill them to the right level to leave a collar so I can drink it.  Keep in mind that shaking will add a small amount of ice shards and melted ice to the cocktail, increasing the volume by a bit.  As an example, if your cocktail glass holds 5 ounces filled to the rim (didn’t I ask you not to measure that level?), or 4 ounces with an appropriate collar then the parts would be about ¼ ounce.  This means the Satan’s Whiskers won’t fill the glass, but the Monkey Gland will; however, if you increase it to ½ an ounce, then the Satan’s Whiskers will fit in the glass, but leave you very little collar or room for error.  I never said there would be no math.


This is the oldest drink we’re talking about today, it dates back to the 1880’s, and is considered the precursor to the Martini (that’s a later column).  At the time, it was a twist on the Manhattan.

  • 1 part Gin (London Dry or Old Tom are traditional)
  • 1 part Sweet Vermouth
  • 1 teaspoon of Maraschino Liqueur
  • 2 dashes of Orange bitters

Fill your shaker with ice, add the ingredients, but avoid shaking it this time.  This cocktail gets stirred (to avoid breaking the ice into chips, which will provide a clearer cocktail) until chilled.  Dump your ice water out of the cocktail glass, strain in the drink, and garnish with a slice of lemon.  If you prefer to go the Manhattan route, swap out the Gin for Bourbon or Rye and adjust the mix to 2 parts Bourbon/Rye and 1 part Sweet Vermouth, and drop out the Maraschino.  The Manhattan gets garnished with a cherry traditionally.

Next time depending on the comments, I’ll either switch over to mixed drinks (and the ratios you can use to make your own), or defining quite a few of the terms that you can use to modify your drink order at the bar.