Want to see me go all gooey and diabetes-inducing about my wife? No? OK, we’ll get a room, then.

Birthdays today include a second-rate pornographer who looked like Shemp Howard with a Jerry Colonna mustache; a guy who was indirectly responsible for my first handjob; the (((Pride of Waukegan)));  a guy who will always be a cornerstone of the Teamster’s Union; a guy whose last words were, “Sorry about that”; a guy whose last words were, “Let’s not lose our heads over this”; a politician who was too easy to parody; an authoritarian piece of shit who should be first in line for the Central Park woodchipper; a guy who got one lucky break and is still riding it; a truly brilliant man and one of SP’s and my heroes; and a guy whose last words were, “Hmmm, I probably shouldn’t have fucked her”.

Onward and outward.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

We need common sense knife laws.

 

“Our model shows that Exxon is worse than Hitler.”

 

Another example of why SP and I totally gave up the NFL.

 

Another example of why SP and I basically don’t watch TV.

 

I am shocked SHOCKED by this news.

 

“I have a better idea: why don’t you go fuck yourself?”

 

Old Guy Music is a little pre-Crimson frippery. And when I looked outside this morning…