That’s right, the vegetarian Jew has to cook bacon and ham at his new job. But it’s money, so it’s all good. And at least I can hire someone else to actually off the pigs. And the birds. No shochet.

True (maybe related) story: Remember, we’re rural, but this is a college town, with everything that goes along with that. SP went to our poultry purveyor to cop some bird corpses and eggs. The place is only big enough for one customer at a time to go in. As she was pulling up, the driver’s door of a car in the lot opened, and a guy in full Muslim regalia got out, leaving his veiled wife in the passenger seat. As soon as he trundled in, she pulled the veil off her face. SP overheard the conversation:

Muslim Man: “I want some halal chicken.”

Poultry Guy: “Some what?”

Muslim Man: “HALAL CHICKEN!”

Poultry Guy: /Looks confused.

Muslim Man: /Goes off on a rant about how halal works, then demands the poultry guy start providing it. “I can’t find halal poultry here, you MUST sell it!”

Muslim Man: /Continues to rant that the Poultry Guy needs to not only provide halal chicken, but exclusively sell halal chicken.

Poultry Guy: “I’m sorry, we just don’t have it…”

Muslim Man stamps out, fuming. When his wife sees him, she immediately puts the veil back.

This really was far too true to the stereotype.

Speaking of stereotypes, there’s a remarkable shortage of notable birthdays today. Well, there IS some Kraut scribbler; a guy who has been imitated almost as often as Ed Sullivan; a guy who might have been on the spectrum; a scifi guy whose work never really moved me; a cartoonist who ditto; a piece of shit who wasn’t one of (((us))); some pop singer chick whom SP assures me was famous; another chick in the same category;  and a guy whom I’ll always admire for killing Shirley MacLaine.

Oh yeah, Links.

 

Good boi!

 

“It was under the bed! How the hell are we supposed to know it’s valuable?”

 

I am all in favor of releasing a guy with a track record of shooting Kennedys and former AGs.

 

When everything is life or death, nothing is life or death.

 

You mean that the government printing a ton of money has a negative effect? Unpossible!

 

Somebody didn’t pay off somebody.

 

I dearly hope the crowds bring Tiki torches. Hey Bernie, you’ve managed to get rich off your position, how much extra did YOU kick in already?

 

Old Man Music today is just fucking nuts.