They don’t do the local morning cartoon deal any more, apparently. This was a big thing when I was a kid, with some TV station personality putting on a costume and being a park ranger or ship captain or astronaut who filled in the spaces between Popeye (the good ones, Fleischer-era), the Three Stooges, and crappier fare like Diver Dan. Too bad, this gave me a taste for cheese. The big deal in my childhood was Lorenzo, a guy dressed up to be a pantomiming hobo with an obsession for lollypops. Oh, and Professor Kool and his Fun Skool. Cap’n Tugg, and some years later, Captain Chesapeake. Saturday mornings just aren’t the same. /adjusts onion on belt

Birthdays today include a guy who did everything except sex toys; the French guy who, unlike Mike, actually did something useful; a pioneer in his craft who did it perfectly; a woman who wanted to be alone; a guy who was not Sephardic; the greatest female voice artist; the other guy whom Oswald didn’t shoot; a pitcher with the longest kick and stretch I’ve ever seen (and delivered the finest pitching performance in MLB history); a guy whom I’d like to introduce to my ex-wife; a sure-fire guarantee that a movie would be funny; a guy who will always be my president, and I hope yours; an accomplished guy who might actually have been a half-decent president and actually WAS racially attacked; a guy who outdid Theisman; Heroic Mulatto’s spirit animal; a brilliant actor who made us love evil; Mr. One Nut himself; and my favorite rapper.

The best I can do here is Links, so… let’s.

 

En greve!

 

We used to do this just for fun. M-80s down the toilet…

 

Fish are racist.

 

Warty hardest hit.

 

Seems legit. Seriously, why would this even be a crime? Oh, right, Europe.

 

Old Guy Music is ultimate boomer.