His candidacy is sounding promising.

There is much joy and celebration at our little shop. One of the girls is no longer a girl! Them is stunning, them is brave! Them changed theys name from something pretentiously WASPy to something pretentiously stupid, with reference to wizards, warriors, video games, and god knows what purple hair obsession. Them also changed theys pronouns in all of theys social media, to great fanfare from our staff. Apparently, the correct response when shrieked at, “ISN’T THIS WONDERFUL???” is not to shake my head and roll my eyes. This caused a fresh round of screaming, though not of the friendly sort. One of the screamers had recently commented to me that she was looking forward to getting out of here and seeking her fortune in the Big City. My response was, “You won’t last a day before dissolving into a puddle of horror, tears, outrage, shrieking, and shattered dreams, you ridiculous self-centered sniveling snowflake.” Then out loud, I responded, “I hope that works out well for you.”

What else worked out well? Birthdays, that’s what, and todays include a wonderfully named general; a rather petty individual; the only guy with this name worth shit; a guy who dared coach at Oberlin, and has presumably been canceled; a guy who dotted all his Is; a guy who showed that even men could have periods; a guy whose ashes were placed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall’s porch; a guy who refined the art of grabbing his knee and rolling around; the absolute king of shitty pop culture; a brilliant, pioneering, and creative troll who has sadly faded away; a disgusting piece of shit who has elevated hysteria to an entertainment form; a musician whose shtick is limited yet insanely successful; a pretty decent bassist who, if I didn’t mention him, would cause me to be screamed at by Tulip; and the result of crossing a piece of shit with a different piece of shit.

Onward to Links.

 

I like how they carefully stepped around the women he beat and the teen prostitute he killed.

 

Wanna bet this whole thing was related to a union action?

 

Someone about to be canceled. Again. Oops.

 

“My preferred policies override the Constitution.”

 

This the the best Tommy Flinagen imitation since Ari Fleisher.

 

This is much too reasonable and clearheaded.

 

Old Guy Music features one of my favorite drummers. The energy here is almost at Keith Moon level, but what stood Krupa apart was the sheer rhythmic drive. Even just playing the tom, he pushes the band and sets a perfect groove.