To think I was having trouble choosing between making fun of another “rednecks in the mist” article as interpreted by neocons or the return of sailing ships.  Turns out I forgot New Zealand was still a thing.

This is my review of Almanac Brewing Hypernova Volume V:

Seriously, the Kiwis gone done lost their minds.

While I’m training myself not to click on Facebook’s comments section – and that addictive rush of outrage of reading the horrendous views of strangers – the haha emoji is unavoidable. It takes just one person to click that avatar of vitriol and the post and my newsfeed is tainted forever. Even on stories where the comments are turned off, you’ll still find that little androgynous face of scorn.

My experience of social media is now like being followed everywhere by Nelson Muntz from The Simpsons – like every earnest view I hold is a source of belittlement for the world.

In a way it has become the emoji of the moment. The emoji of Brexit, Donald Trump and the anti-vaxxers. A weapon of the trolls in the time of the culture wars.

So how did the emoji of joy become the emoji of hate?

Nobody hates you, they’re just laughing at you. As people like me, have laughed at people like you since the beginning of time.  Its not hatred.

As people were given more ways to express their views on Facebook, it soon became clear that, as journalist Daniel Walters wrote, the haha emoji is “an A-hole”. Walters said, rather than laughter, the emoji had been “pressed into service for a more sinister purpose: Derisive mockery of sincere statements”.

“Make no mistake, Facebook’s laughing face emoji is laughing at you, and it’s doing so in a way far more infuriating than simply a written-out ‘ha ha’ or ‘lol’.”

The sneering contempt of Grinning Squinty was used to belittle millions around the world. A journalist writing on Medium said the emoji had even been used to discredit victims of sexual abuse in India and the #MeToo movement.

C’mon now, #metoo made a mockery of itself.

Elevating Grinning Squinty to the status of Facebook reaction has also given the “A-hole” emoji outsized power. The reactions at the bottom of the post are not weighted to represent the number of people who click on a certain reaction. A single click on Grinning Squinty and it’s anchored to a post and an ocean of hearts and likes can’t wash it away. In a global pandemic, when social media feels more toxic and divisive than ever, this has made Facebook feel even more like the home of sneering bullies.

Okay I stopped there.  If I can’t finish an article, I can’t in good conscience request you do the same.  Just imagine being so emotionally fragile an androgynous yellow face laughing at your self-imposed psychological maladies forces you to seek further therapy.

 

So this beer…this is something else.  Almanac made a lactose-laced sour ale aged in oak barrels.  Flavored with plums, nectarines, vanilla and pluots.  I know what you’re thinking, “a pluot?”  Yes, a pluot.  This is the fruit from a plum tree cross pollinated with an apricot tree. Everything about this beer is what happens when man decides to pretend he is God.  While the oak gives it a pleasant finish, it is a concoction so sour I was literally in tears.  Mostly because I spent $7 for this one can, and its really damn sour.  Some of you will like it. Almanac Brewing Hypernova Volume V: 2.1/5.