Daily Stoic Week 43

 

The Daily Stoic

The Practicing Stoic

Meditations

How to Be a Stoic

If you have anger issues, this one is a great tool (h/t mindyourbusiness)

Disclaimer: I’m not your Supervisor. These are my opinions after reading through these books a few times.

 

October 29

“Each person acquires their own character, but their official roles are designated by chance. You should invite some to your table because they are deserving, others because they may come to deserve it.”
—SENECA, MORAL LETTERS, 47.15b

A person’s current situation does not show their character. My father in law thought I was a dirt bag when he first met me because I was working as a DJ in a bar in Kinville and not making much money. After I got a job framing houses, he realized that I was a good worker and even had me help him with his concrete work occasionally. Once he got to know me and saw how I treated his daughter, we got along quite well. I try not to judge too quickly, but I do have a bad habit of thinking I know someone’s character just from seeing them.

 

October 30

“Aren’t you ashamed to reserve for yourself only the remnants of your life and to dedicate to wisdom only that time can’t be directed to business?”
—SENECA, ON THE BREVITY OF LIFE, 3.5b

I don’t dedicate too much time to business, but I do use too much of it for watching TV or reading for fun. Sometimes I stay up too late reading and I feel like crap the next couple days. When I do this, I am not setting myself up for success. When I set limits on my fun reading and read Stoic writings before I sleep, I do much better at sleeping on time, so I feel better in the mornings, running and working out is easier, and I am much more productive at work.

 

October 31

“The human being is born with an inclination toward virtue.”
—MUSONIUS RUFUS, LECTURES, 2.7.1–2

For the vast majority of people, this is true. For myself, when I was 13 or so, I decided I wanted to be a good person, and while sometimes in my life I have fallen short of that goal, for the most part I have kept to that. My life has turned out much better because of those decisions. I wasn’t always naturally good, but I worked to become so. I think most people don’t think about it, but are mostly good. This gives me a little hope for the future.

 

November 1

“Don’t seek for everything to happen as you wish it would, but rather wish that everything happens as it actually will—then your life will flow well.”
—EPICTETUS, ENCHIRIDION, 8

“It is easy to praise providence for anything that may happen if you have two qualities: a complete view of what has actually happened in each instance and a sense of gratitude. Without
gratitude what is the point of seeing, and without seeing what is the object of gratitude?”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 1.6.1–2

When I understand what I control and don’t worry about the things outside of that, I am much more less likely to get stressed out and angry. When I waste time and energy on things outside of my control nothing flows well for me.

 

Having a complete view of what is happening is difficult sometimes. When I had surgery, it was easy to think “Why me?” It was harder to see that after the surgery I would be feeling better and be able to do things again. When the surgery became infected, this outlook was much more difficult to maintain. Having that setback helped to get me back into following stoicism much more closely and as a result my anger issues have dissipated. They are not gone, but they are easier to deal with. I think it is not the event itself I should have gratitude for, but any lessons learned or improvement in my mentality.

 

November 2

“But I haven’t at any time been hindered in my will, nor forced against it. And how is this possible? I have bound up my choice to act with the will of God. God wills that I be sick, such is my will. He wills that I should choose something, so do I. He wills that I reach for something, or something be given to me—I wish for the same. What God doesn’t will, I do not wish for.”
—EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.1.89

Whatever happens, I should find a way to be glad that it happened. This is easier to do with small things. I can be happy that my truck needed a new head gasket last year, it gave me the opportunity to learn how to fix that. If my wife dies suddenly, it would be difficult to find a positive. it would do me no good to wallow in the grief and I know the time we had together is more than most people get. If I can master this skill, nothing the world throws at me will disturb me more than necessary.

 

November 3

“Just as we commonly hear people say the doctor prescribed someone particular riding exercises, or ice baths, or walking without shoes, we should in the same way say that nature prescribed someone to be diseased, or disabled, or to suffer any kind of impairment. In the case of the doctor, prescribed means
something ordered to help aid someone’s healing. But in the case of nature, it means that what happens to each of us is ordered to help aid our destiny.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 5.8.

What have I been prescribed? I have an anger problem. I have learned to use this to improve myself.

The grid heater relay went out on my truck. This was a simple fix, 3 bolts and 8 wires. It was not easy because it was below the battery and in between the air intake and the body so there was no room. Old me would have been angry and yelling while I swapped in the new one. New me felt the beginnings of anger and kept it under control by laughing at the stupid part for trying to piss me off(it almost worked).

If I can learn to do this when I deal with people that refuse to see plain truth, then I will see how much it is possible to change my mentality.

 

November 4

“There is no evil in things changing, just as there is no good in persisting in a new state.”
—MARCUS AURELIUS, MEDITATIONS, 4.42

This is another hard one. As I look back at how different the country has become since 2001, it is easy to disagree with this one. On the other hand, change itself is not necessarily bad. I have retired from the Marines and my standard of living has gotten much better since then. My wife and I are still happy together, but our relationship has changed, in some ways better and other ways more indifferent. The only change I really have control over is my internal strength and resilience.

 

This week’s music is Joe Walsh

We used to go to a bar in Okinawa City that had a band and they would go from Rocky Mountain way into Funk #49

 

I’ve always liked this song, but it’s not one of his hits