Recently, I got to see Steel Panther live. Jeebus H. Koresh that was a good time and just what the doctor ordered. There is a kind of magic being with a couple of hundred people who get the joke and enthusiastically do the call and response with the band.

 

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!

 

For those of you unfamiliar with Steel Panther, imagine Spinal Tap was a real American band who has been bringing back heavy metal for the past 30 years, with real albums, smiles on their faces, often profane, shameless, guiltless, plenty of banter with the crowd, plenty of banter between band members, deliberately celebrating many of the worst (best?) aspects of hair metal and always in it for the musicianship and the joke. The musicianship and tattoos are real. The hair and clothing are part of the joke.

 

 

Early in the night, the band played Asian Hooker.

In this clip you see Michael Starr spot someone in the audience a few seconds in. He starts gesturing to Satchel who in turn gestures to that someone in the crowd. At the end of the clip you can hear the crowd cheering.

 

 

This well dressed, young Asian woman came up and danced with Michael for the rest of the song. [Two photos of young Asian woman] You can find at least a few live show videos on YouTube where the same thing happened. This is what I mean when I say the fans are in on the joke.

 

 

Later in the show, Michael and Satchel were bantering with the audience and each other leading up to their classic ballad, Weenie Ride. (It may be Tonio’s favorite but don’t tell him I told you.)

 

As the young woman who would be serenaded was making her way up to the stage, she was asked about her boyfriend. It turns out it was her brother. The band noticed an older man with her. That was her father. He was complemented on his excellent sperm.

 

 

The young woman on stage loved meeting the band members (not a euphemism) I’ll let you decide for yourself if Weenie Ride is horribly misogynistic or incredibly funny.

 

I regret not shooting any video of 17 Girls In A Row. 5 women got up on stage (the venue limited the number) while the guys rocked out. There was something surreal about seeing them dancing while singing the lyrics. It’s not every day you see a bunch of young women gyrating while singing:

I banged seventeen girls in the grocery store and never lost my erection, no.

They had to mop all the sperm in aisle three and some poop in the produce sex-sex-sex-tion, stinky.

 

 

I should have shot more of this. If you want to know how loud a couple hundred people can shout “fuck, fuck” as part of the chorus, go hear this live.

 

 

I love this song because it’s over the top macho and ridiculous all at once.

 

Editor’s Note: I sat on this article (phrasing!) for far too long after Chafed submitted it, and owe him a big apology, as well as thanks for his patience and understanding. A combination of editorial sloth and ineptitude, and a mad scramble to figure out who had upload access to the Glibs YouTube channel. -Tonio