It’s getting close to Christmas and I thought this would be a fun topic of discussion.  What do you do to protect your precious Christmas tree against the ravages of pets?

I just got free-roaming animals in the house in for the first time in almost ten years. A pair of mismatched cats, from the animal rescue.  In October I didn’t have much to worry about – Cats really can’t make fake tombstones look worse – only a little more realistic. Come Christmas I would have the dreaded problem oft-discussed in chat rooms: What to do about cats and Christmas trees?

I disregarded all of the chatroom advice.  It was wrongheaded, so to speak. “Ban this, fence that, etc…” Sounded like a bunch of politicians.  I needed a  Libertarian approach.  A… Stoic approach. I decided that cats were going to get into the tree no matter what I did, so I might was well harden the tree so they could have a good time and I would  not worry about their instinctual actions. I thought back to what I learned from Ron73440’s excellent series:

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals, not under my control, and which have to do with the choice I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.” — Epictetus

With that in mind, I used this to mitigate potential issues with the cats:

  • Fake folding tree: It’s old, and all the branches fold out like some kind of coniferous umbrella.  Since all the branches are attached via hinges it is unlikely to come apart. I think all the fake trees come like that now.
  • 1 cheap tree turner:  The cats don’t much care for jumping on a turning tree, no matter how slowly.  The success of this surprised me. This same one is $30 at Big Lots. The wide footing also helps with the tree tilting under the weight of multiple animals.
  • LED lights: Low voltage in case they did gnaw through. Most lights are LED now, which is good overall for preventing pet electrocution.  These do tricks which is also pretty neat.
  • Garden Twist Ties:  I used a big coil of green garden twist ties to attach the ornaments.  No string, no little hook wires.  This worked great.  Not a much higher rate of drops than when I didn’t have cats. I recommend this highly.
  • Use plastic or metal ornaments: This may go without saying for many of you, but don’t put your Aunt Petunia’s glass snow globe from the 1900s on the tree.  Display that elsewhere.

Voila!  A stoic Christmas.  The cats are treated as per their disposition instead of being treated as if they are evil for climbing.  I see them running around in the tree and I just know it is in their nature and I don’t worry about it.

Howe do you handle your pets during the holidays?