I’m normally a pretty cheerful person, but today I’m not. Soutine captures my mood. Sorry, I like doing the funny little slice of life, I’m just not feeling funny.

I guess I can celebrate birthdays, including that of the greatest of the Founding Fathers, the shithead who inflicted Teddy Roosevelt on us before getting a deserved retirement; a writer who ended up on the Enterprise; the greatest film comedian, period; a guy who was a monkey wrench in the works; someone with TERF bangs; an actress responsible for the deaths of millions of potential Jews; a guy about whom my mom would say, “I just want to spend hours stroking his mustache”; a chick who couldn’t even make it in Baltimore; and a guy whose diving did not include muff.

Let’s get to Links.

 

We badly need to stay the fuck out of this.

 

Team Red is going to manage to lose in 2024 to a senile dodo. Congratulations. At least I’ll win a bunch of bets.

 

OK, I am famously indifferent about cars. I want this one.

 

Fine guitarist, excellent songwriter, annoying vocalist. Bye, Tom.

 

No more Free Willy. Now he costs.

 

They do love that passive voice, don’t they?

 

How about $20 trillion? 50? A quadrillion? Why not?

 

I know I’ve used this song before as Old Guy Music, but today it seems necessary.