Daytime TV’s Ted Kaczynski is retiring.

Dr. Phil to cease playing pretend TV doctor this spring

Dr. Phil, the long-running daytime television show in which a guy without a medical license yells at vulnerable people seeking help until he determines they’re cured, is coming to an end. This spring, the series will wrap its 21 seasons on CBS, opening the door for another one of Oprah’s grifter buddies to come in and fill the void.

Phil McGraw, who stopped renewing his medical license in 2006, will continue to play pretend doctor on television in all likelihood. As Variety notes, he plans on announcing a “strategic primetime partnership” that will allow him “increase his impact on television and viewers” because he’s “compelled to engage with a broader audience.” McGraw says he has “grave concerns for the American family,” which means he presumably wants more teens on his television show to yell at and diagnose.

 

The sexual auto–da–fé is going to become more popular as we go. It’s horrible. FREE THE HOG!

Twitch’s AI ‘Porn’ Controversy Is a Creepy Sign of Things to Come

On Monday, popular Twitch streamer Brandon Ewing, who goes by Atrioc, streamed himself crying profusely, tearfully apologizing for creating and consuming “deepfake porn” of fellow streamers—all women. The apology came after earlier in the day, he’d accidentally revealed tabs in his browser that revealed that he was looking at artificially generated porn of popular female Twitch streamers. In his apology, Ewing claimed that he’d come across a website offering AI-created porn while browsing Pornhub, and, out of “morbid curiosity,” paid for a subscription to view the pictures.

This type of porn is neither new nor, unfortunately, especially rare. With AI, people can create pornographic images of friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and even strangers they meet in passing, and alarmingly enough, they can easily do so without the consent or knowledge of the person whose image and likeness they’re using.

 

Monthly, like a transwoman’s tomato paste period…

49 New Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and Horror Books to Sweeten Your February

 

Meru by S.B. Divya
In a far future in which humans dwell on Earth while posthuman “alloys” handle all the space exploration, the discovery of an Earthlike planet has the potential to better the future for everyone.

Mid

 

The Bite by Z.W. Taylor
A women fleeing an abusive relationship ends up in the wilds of Alaska—where her quest to start a new life takes a strange turn when she’s bitten by an unusual wolf.

Werewolves as feminist empowerment. No one’s done that before. [rolls eyes, they fall out, hit the floor, covered in dust, can’t get them back in]

 

The Black Guy Dies First: Black Horror From Fodder to Oscar by Dr. Robin R. Means Coleman and Mark H. Harris
Written by two of the experts behind the excellent documentary Horror Noire, this nonfiction book takes a look at how Black characters and creators have fared throughout history, from the earliest movies to recent releases like Get Out and Candyman.

Interesting. I like research into horror film. Library check out.

 

Cradle of Ice by James Rollins
The Moonfall series that began with The Starless Crown continues, as a soldier, a thief, a lost prince, and a girl continue their dangerous quest to stop the apocalypse.

Just no.

 

Daughters of Oduma by Moses Ose Utomi
In this YA fantasy inspired by West African culture, “an elite female fighter must reenter the competition to protect her found family of younger sisters.”

Nope.

 

Don’t Fear the Reaper by Stephen Graham Jones
In this sequel to the author’s acclaimed horror novel My Heart Is a Chainsaw, slasher movie fanatic—and now, an actual slasher survivor—Jade Daniels returns to Indian Lake at the same time an escaped serial killer begins terrorizing the area.

I like his books, definite read.

 

Heroes of an Unknown World by Ayize Jama-Everett
In this fourth and final novel in the Liminals series, “a found family of Black superheroes has one last chance to save the world

No.

 

Hultichia by Marshall Ryan Maresca
The author returns to the magical city of Maradaine for this new novella about a deacon sent on a strange and dangerous mission that tests his faith.

Nope

 

Not Your Ex’s Hexes by April Asher
“A one-night-stand between a willful witch and a broody half-demon conjures an adventure that wouldn’t be complete without several magical mishaps.”

I just… fuck.

 

Pod by Laline Paull
The author of The Bees returns with another thriller set in the natural world. This time, a hearing-impaired dolphin is the main character; when she leaves her family in order to protect them, she must undertake a dangerous adventure across the unknown ocean
Startide Rising, the Disney+ series.

 

Seven Faceless Saints by M.K. Lobb
In this dark fantasy, a young woman investigates her father’s murder in a city run by corrupt, all-powerful saints and their disciples, with the help of a security captain who’s starting to have serious doubts about those he’s been serving.

I’d have to know more.

 

The Severed Thread by Leslie Vedder
The sequel to Sleeping Beauty riff The Bone Spindle finds Fi, Shane, and Briar Rose facing new adventures on their quest to defeat the Spindle Witch.

Argh! Fairy Tales! Motherfuckers!

 

The Spite House by Johnny Compton
A father on the run with his two daughters takes on an ominous but potentially lucrative new gig: the caretaker for one of the most haunted houses in Texas.

I mean, maybe. As long as it isn’t The Shining with armadillos.

 

Stardust in Their Veins by Laura Sebastian
This sequel to Castles in Their Bones finds the Ash Princesses struggling with their mother’s covert plot to bring down rival kingdoms by strategically marrying them off. With one sister now dead for defying the family plan, the remaining sisters must decide what to do next.

This shit.

 

Stone Blind by Natalie Haynes
The story of Medusa gets a sympathetic new twist in this retelling of the classic myth. (February 7)

Wicked but Medusa. Fucking tired shit.

 

These Infinite Threads by Tahereh Mafi
In the sequel to This Woven Kingdom, two royal heirs—one a Jinn, once a human—fall in love, and must figure out how to be together while battling chaos between and within their respective kingdoms.

Barf

 

VenCo by Cherie Dimaline
On the verge of being evicted from her home, a young Métis woman discovers a magical spoon that connects her into a witch network across America—and soon picks up a witch-hunter in pursuit.

A magic spoon. But much virtue points for Native Canadian inclusion.

 

Victory City by Salman Rushdie
In the 14th century, a young girl unwittingly becomes the vessel for a goddess—and is tasked with creating a great city where women rule, a process that becomes more complex as the city grows and changes over the centuries that follow.

Even Rushdie must bow before The Cult of the Girlboss.

 

Wild Massive by Scotto Moore
In the Building, “an infinitely tall skyscraper in the center of the multiverse,” a woman is forced to leave her favorite spot—the elevator—after it’s threatened by a shapeshifter, and plunges into the Building’s network of incredible yet terrifying theme parks.

Sounds original. Will try.

 

Wildblood by Lauren Blackwood
A young tour guide who uses her magic to protect travelers from jungle monsters starts to question her devotion to the company she works for when she’s unfairly passed over for a promotion.

HR onboarding film, yay.

 

The Beauty Trials by Dhonielle Clayton
Set in the world of the author’s Belles series, this fantasy tale follows rebellious Edel Beauregard as she enters the magical, dangerous contest to crown the next Queen of Orléans

This shit.

 

The Cage of Dark Hours by Marina Lostetter
The Five Penalties epic fantasy series continues as Krona and her Regulators pick up the pieces after defeating an undead serial killer—or try to, while battling the corruption in their city and battling the monsters that lurk just beyond it.

Middle of a series nope.

 

Frontier by Grace Curtis
This queer sci-fi love story takes place on an Earth mostly abandoned after humankind fled to new planets, with a cruel High Sheriff in charge. When an escape pod crash-lands, the first visitor in hundreds of years must deal with a hostile planet where life evokes the long-ago Wild West.

No, no, no. Also, it’s a holodeck episode.

 

Hopeland by Ian McDonald
An aspiring electromancer meets an otherworldly being amid a riot in London, setting in motion a time-travel adventure that will reshape the universe.

I’ve liked what little I’ve read of Ian McDonald so it goes on the maybe list.

 

Jewel Box: Stories by E. Lily Yu
Short stories from the speculative fiction author of On Fragile Waves.

“Speculative fiction” Nope

 

The Last City by H.J. Nelson
In this sequel to The Last She, Ara, Kaden, and Sam navigate the post-apocalypse, hoping to discover the last city standing while learning hard lessons about not trusting anyone they meet.

Note how few people write books for adults now. Chasing that Hunger Games clout.

 

The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi
When a man who loves fairy tales marries a woman with a magical, mysterious past, he becomes drawn into a strange fantasy world when the couple visits her childhood home for the first time.

FAIRY TALE NO

 

The Scarlet Circus by Jane Yolen
The third volume in the author’s short-story series features tales that explore romance through the lens of classic fantasy: “A rakish fairy meets the real Juliet behind Shakespeare’s famous tragedy. A jewelry artist travels to the past to meet a successful silver-smith. The addled crew of a ship at sea discovers a mysterious merman.”

Blah.

 

The Shamshine Blind by Paz Pardo
In an alternate version of 2008 in which the U.S. is a second-rate nation ruled by emotion-altering chemicals dubbed “psychopigments,” a small-time cop chasing small-time crooks stumbles upon the case of a lifetime.

“In my nightmarish future, Obama NEVER BECOMES PRESDIENT!” [distant wailing]

 

Unquiet Spirits: Essays by Asian Women in Horror by Lee Murray and Angela Yuriko Smith
This collection gathers personal essays from Asian horror writers “exploring themes of otherness, identity, expectation, duty, and loss, and leading, ultimately, to understanding and empowerment.”

[eye roll, ouch]

 

World Running Down by Al Hess
“A transgender salvager on the outskirts of a dystopian Utah gets the chance to earn the ultimate score and maybe even a dash of romance.”

Bloody fucking hell.

 

Arch-Conspirator by Veronica Roth
The classic myth of Antigone gets a sci-fi twist in the latest from the author of the Divergent series.

Is “the author of the Divergent series” supposed to be a positive?

 

The Bridge to Magic by Alex Thornbury
“Magic and its guardians have been banished to the deadlands and the Blight threatens mankind’s survival. Terren, the last remaining city, stands alone against its relentless advance. Ever closer draws the choice they all must make: face the deadly Blight or cross the Bridge to Magic.”

[deep sigh]

 

The Destroyer of Worlds: A Return to Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff
Atticus, Montrose, Hippolyta, Letitia, Ruby, and other characters from Lovecraft Country—including Caleb Braithwaite and the ghost of Hiram Winthrop—return in this new supernatural adventure set in 1957 Chicago and North Carolina.

Will read. Lovecraft Country was much better than the exceedingly meh TV series.

 

Harmony of Lies by Brian Feehan
The Alice & Owen paranormal romance series continues as Alice tries to mend her relationship with her parents without divulging her magical secrets. Meanwhile, Owen and his musical friends set out on a dangerous journey.

Paranormal Romance series nope. Also “his musical friends” sounds like bards. I hate bards.

 

The Magician’s Daughter by H.G. Parry
When her magician guardian goes missing, a young woman leaves her enchanted island for the first time since she was a baby to try and find him—while avoiding his super-powered enemies and discovering her own gifts.

Another children’s book. Get it and a dildo at your local public library.

 

Nocturne by Alyssa Wees
In this fantasy tale, a talented dancer overcomes her hardscrabble background to become a prima ballerina—but her new life is not without troubles, especially when a mysterious patron takes an interest in her.

“In this fantasy tale, a talented dancer”nope

 

Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy Snyder
“A visceral story set in the aftermath of our planet’s disastrous transformation and told through the eyes of three women trying to survive the nightmare.”

The Witcher, Season 3

 

The Sky Vault by Benjamin Percy
The Comet Cycle continues in Fairbanks, Alaska, where an airplane lands after flying through an interstellar dust cloud—attracting government agents and a newfound interest in a top-secret, World War II-era lab hidden nearby.

A maybe.

 

The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty
A new trilogy from the author of The City of Brass begins with this tale of a former pirate who’s pulled out of retirement for a rescue mission that comes with a reward she just can’t refuse.

Nope

 

The Crane Husband by Kelly Barnhill
This retelling of Japanese folk tale “The Crane Wife” sets the scene in the Midwest, where a 15-year-old must decide what to do when her single mother, a talented artist, brings home “a six-foot tall crane with a menacing air” who demands she create a masterpiece.

“See, it’s not The Crane Wife, it’s The Crane Husband. Ha! I subverted your expectations. I updated it for modern audience. I am so smart.”

 

A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon
This standalone prequel to fantasy tale The Priory of the Orange Tree explores the lives of four women who helped shape and protect the course of history.

“This standalone prequel” Nope

 

Delicious Monsters by Liselle Sambury
After a rough breakup, a young woman who can see dead people decides to spend the summer in the isolated mansion her mother’s just inherited—but the experience is anything but rejuvenating. Years later, her own daughter launches a ghost-hunting investigation into her mother’s experiences.

-_-

 

The Foreign Exchange by Veronica G. Henry
“A Vodou priestess turned amateur sleuth investigating a ritual murder is embroiled in an insidious case of corruption that reaches beyond the shadows of New Orleans.”

Oh, look, it’s Fallen Angel by William Hjortsberg which was turned into the 1987 movie, Angel Heart.

 

Last Violent Call by Chloe Gong
Characters from the author’s These Violent Delights Duet return in a pair of novellas packaged together in this set: A Foul Thing and This Foul Murder.

Nope

 

Nightbirds by Kate J. Armstrong
In a world where women are not allowed to use magic, four girls with undeniable powers are kept hidden until they realize they’re being used as political pawns—and that there are other girls in the world, also being kept hidden, who share their gifts.

“In a world where women are not allowed to use magic” nope

 

She Is a Haunting by Trang Thanh Tran
In this gothic mystery, a woman visits her estranged father in Vietnam only to realize the colonial house he’s restoring has a strange power over her.

Sounds interesting.

 

The Sun and Its Shade by Piper CJ
The Night and Its Moon series continues as the newly reunited Nox and Amaris are suddenly separated again. Can they use their magic to finally be together?

They’ve been separated again?!? Oh, nope.

 

The Wicked Bargain by Gabe Cole Novoa
“El Diablo is in the details in this Latinx pirate fantasy starring a transmasculine nonbinary teen with a mission of revenge, redemption, and revolution.”

This is just a straight up “go fuck yourself.”

 

Bauhaus
“Dark Entries”
In the Flat Field (1980)

Caressing bent up to the jug again
With sheaths and pills
Invading all those stills
In a hovel of a bed
I will scream in vain
Oh please, Miss Lane
Leave me with some pain

Went walking through this city’s neon lights
In fear of disguising my warping seething
Pressure lines and confidant heirs
Intangible of price
Trying so hard to find what was right

I came upon your room, it stuck into my head
We leapt into the bed degrading even lice
You took delight in taking down
My shielded pride
Until exposed became my darker side

Puckering up and down those avenue of sin
Too cheap to ride they’re worth a try
If only for the old times, cold times
Don’t go waving your pretentious love

He’s soliciting on his tan brown brogues (dark entries…)
Girating through some lonesome devils row (dark entries…)
Pinpointing well meaning upper class prey (dark entries…)
Of walking money checks possessing holes (dark entries…)
He often sleekly offers his services (dark entries…)
Exploitation of his finer years (dark entries…)
Work with loosely woven fabrics (dark entries…)
Of lonely office clerks (dark entries…)
Any lay suffices his dollar green eye (dark entries…)

I came upon your room it stuck into my head
We leapt into the bed degrading even lice
You took delight in taking down
My shielded pride
Until exposed became my darker side

Puckering up and down those avenue of sin
Too cheap to ride they’re worth a try
If only for the old times, cold times
Don’t go waving your pretentious love

Dark entries
Dark entries
Dark entries
Dark entries