“It’s just nice to be back in the city again,” the hair yelled to the hat over the blaring horn of a cab.
“This place smells like piss, garbage, and abortion on demand,” the hat muttered. “Drag queens, faggots, and trannies everywhere. I hate it. I hate it here. They closed my favorite Gray’s Papaya.”
“At least we are back in The Tower for the night,” the hair said.
“In the wig vault. Fuck that. We should go out tonight,” the hat said. “Get a cute little Jew girl to rub her pussy on my bill.”
“You just need to get used to Florida women,” the hair said.
“Gator pussy will never do it for me. The teeth, the scales. Barf.”
“That was a frozen iguana,” the hair said.
“This is the worst political persecution in the history of mankind on the planet Earth!” Donald thundered in the empty limo.
“You’re right, Donald,” the hat said. “This DA is out of control. Probably a Jew.”
“He’s Hispanic,” the hair said.
“There are Hispanic Jews. Marranos,” the hat said.
“Anyway… They aren’t going to handcuff you, Donald,” the hair said. “No perp walk.”
“The mugshot will get out,” the hat said.
“Yes, the mugshot will get out,” the hair agreed.
“You might get on mugshawtys,” the hat said.
“I love mugshawtys,” the hair said.
“They are conspiring to keep me out of the White House,” Donald said. “The judge is a stooge, his wife is an enemy, his daughter is one of Kamala’s creatures. Unfair venue!” Donald lapsed into silence and slumped down in his seat.
Loren Merchan and her sexually ambiguous husband, Taylor Harper
“So, if we go out, what do you want to do?” the hair asked.
“Washington Square Park, look for some suicidal art student, give her the FULL HAT experience, and then watch her OD in a bathtub.”
“Christ, what the fuck?” the hair asked.
“You asked what I wanted to do and that’s what I want to do.”
“It’s just so specific to try to arrange in one night,” the hair said dryly.
“WITCH HUNT!” Donald burped.
“You should have got Ron to block your extradition,” the hat said.
“I want nothing from him,” Donald said. “He is a traitor. I would have handed the keys to MAGA nation if he would have just waited until 2028.”
“It was better to surrender,” the hair said. “We can beat these charges.”
“He probably told them not to protest for me,” Donald said darkly. “I wanted millions in the streets; I wanted the city shut down.” Donald watched the sparse crowd as the limo pulled up to Trump Tower.
“Jesus, look at that fucking tranny,” the hat said. “It must be seven feet tall.”
“At least there are some Black people in the crowd,” the hair said.
“Black MAGA are some of my truest friends,” Donald said, slightly cheered. “I want to rub their curly heads and listen to jazz.”
“We’ll call in an order to your favorite McDonald’s tonight, get you ready for tomorrow.” the hair said soothingly.
“Pick out a Black to have dinner with me,” Donald said. “Only they understand the persecution I go through.”
A triumphant return for the Hat and Hair!
They haven’t missed a beat, though The Hat seems more surly. Maybe he misses the gold plated presidential shitter.
I <3 the internet.
“hope bae gets bail” LOL
Check this one out and then scroll down to the muppet.
https://twitter.com/mugshawtys/status/1637473061975859202?cxt=HHwWhIC9xd_EvLktAAAA
That’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are!
LOL
I’m torn between amusement and a bit of sympathy for the people having their mugshots shared on a social media platform for others amusement.
“Washington Square Park, look for some suicidal art student, give her the FULL HAT experience, and then watch her OD in a bathtub.”
I read this at my desk and let out a small laugh.
Not sure why it’s funny, so, so dark, but there it is.
“Washington Square Park, look for some suicidal art student, give her the FULL HAT experience, and then watch her OD in a bathtub.”
I’m a bad person for laughing at this.
You never go FULL HAT!
Yeah, I’m sure we’re terrible people for laughing at this stuff, but I don’t care.
“I want to run their curly heads and listen to jazz”
*deep breath, slowly release*
“Washington Square Park, look for some suicidal art student, give her the FULL HAT experience, and then watch her OD in a bathtub.”
This is precisely why I love The Hat so, so much.
Dito. I was about to comment on that.
Looks like we have a favorite.
Loren Merchan looks like her remote control vibrator just short circuited.
Judging by both their faces her husband just put it in the pooper.
Which one is which?
Taylor’s not putting anything up anything unless Loren leaves his chastity cage unlocked.
Probably Loren’s boyfriend is the one taking the picture.
I would have guessed Taylor’s boyfriend, but whatever
Yup. My first thought when I saw the pic was “Surprise anal!”
Taylor’s nu-smile is creeping me out.
There’s a POV cameraman about to make an entrance.
Who is she?
The daughter of the Judge presiding over Donald’s case. She’s a Kamala tankie.
Didn’t they just put that face on a Bud Light can?
The Agony and The Ecstacy
Dylan wishes s/he had that curly hair.
I can relate to Donald as my entire life has been a battle against seconders who would see me persecuted or locked away where I can no longer First.
Looks like we have a favorite.
It was that or, “That was a frozen iguana,”.
Huzzah! Long Live MAGA Prime!
“This place smells like piss, garbage, and abortion on demand,”
It’s funny ’cause it’s true.
Server errors make me sad. 🙁
Server errors have never stopped a true Firster.
Damn, the site is surly today.
All the lurkers out there couldn’t wait to see how H&H would handle the indictment.
Big Capitalization got to SugarFree.
Random mughawtys are better looking than most of the plastic clowns Q posts.
And probably only slightly more stabby.
Some of those girls are scary.
What, you don’t want to take this demure lass home to meet the parents?
Grummun, you were asking about a double stack 9mm 1911 this morning? They have made one since 1935; The Browning Hi-Power. So good he was willing to put his name on it, unlike the 1911. Better mag, trigger, grip, and, well, everything, but especially looks and function.
You misspelled Dieudonné Saive.
(he didn’t put his name on it.)
Don’t encourage him. He’s clearly on drugs.
Neither did. JMB. FN’s marketing department did.
Funny, mine says Browning. My 1911 says, well, Remington and Auto Ordinance.
There is one of the most
geezersenior members of the club that shoots Action Pistol with an original one with the absolutely gorgeous nobody-does-that-anymore bluing.He carries in in an Uncle Mike’s holster secured with a rubber band.
Yes, mine has that bluing, along with the proper rowel hammer.
My limited experience with the Hi-Power is that I didn’t like the trigger. To be fair, I never actually shot it, just dry-fired, and it was just the one gun.
I also specified “won’t break me“. Although there are plenty of Hi-Power clones out there.
The one Girsan clone I fondled had a mushy safety and the trigger was meh. Decent looking fit and finish.
The HK VP90 is a very nice gun. Mrs. Dean loves hers. If I get another full-size handgun, it’ll probably be one of those. Not the cheapest, but cheaper than that Hi-Power, anyway.
Yikes
Now there’s a band we don’t hear too often around here. Kudos on the selection!
Believe all women
Role reversal
The U.S. government was ordered to pay the more than 80 survivors and victims’ relatives $230 million; the Justice Department appealed the ruling. Lawyers for the government argued in court that even if the Air Force — which did not report Kelley’s 2012 arrest and court-martial for domestic violence to the FBI — had followed the law, he would have found another way to acquire a gun to commit the same act, according to court transcripts.
Victims of the shooting said this year that the Justice Department’s arguments had left them frustrated, confused and angry. Many found that the agency’s arguments seemed to undermine the background check system, which was a cornerstone of President Joe Biden’s gun policy priorities.
Survivors and gun safety advocates said they feared that if the Justice Department won the case it could damage gun safety laws.
It’s not fair to beat the government over the head with its own cudgel. The government lawyers should have said that guy could just as easily killed those people with a cast iron frying pan and a length of chain.
“Undermine gun safety laws” indeed.
What happened to sovereign immunity?
I can’t believe they actually said that bolded part on the record.
The daughter of the Judge presiding over Donald’s case. She’s a Kamala tankie.
That’s the DAUGHTER? Even better. I thought it was the missus.
Drag queens, faggots, and trannies everywhere.
Reminds me of this.
Come see the vampires of New York…
Great song. Minnesota boy, of course.
See, I was going more towards this.
I was thinking of this.
“If I had an opportunity to meet President Biden, I would ask him, ‘Why? Why are you doing all this [gun reform] and yet you’re fighting it over here?’” said Juan “Gunny” Macias, who was shot numerous times in the attack.
“Shut up, christfag,” they replied.
Me-ow!
https://variety.com/2023/tv/news/cnn-don-lemon-misogyny-history-nikki-haley-1235574286/
Don Lemon knows his way around a dick better than his female counterparts so nothing else will happen.
THEY ARE SPELLING IT OUT FOR YOU
lol
To be fair, we all know our way around a dick better than our female counterparts.
It’s all in what you do with that knowledge.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv7jcciKB_s
Given the subject of the thread, clicking on that link was a scary proposition.
Hah!
Completely SFW, everyone.
Top Gunn: Mavelick
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RcHhSgcIhC4
C. G. I.!!!
Looks like cartoon airplanes.
Awful.
Despite the propaganda, Maverick was a beautifully shot film.
Oh give them time.. Just the current generation of propaganda films, and their audience will love it.
Remember Firefox?… That was poor FX for the date too.. and a terrible plot..
They made a movie about the web browser?
/sarc
Great plane though.
My recollection was that those effects were state of the art at the time. They held up for shit, but so does some of Star Wars.
The later additions to Star Wars stick out like a sore thumb. A movie full of well done practical effects and then you get some ugly early 2000s cgi creature walking across the screen.
The cartoony CGI of Yoda in a light saber fight is when I washed my hands of Star Wars other than the original trilogy.
I still don’t know what ailment the American pilot was supposed to have. Several times he had some episode that incapacitated him. No explanation was given; did he have Vietnam flashbacks, an ulcer, Tourette’s?
I haven’t seen the flick since the 80’s but this was confusing for young me.
Flashbacks man, flashbacks…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4ChTL-3c3o
Still my favorite
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEVL9irXj0g
Needs more teeth snapping and homoerotic volleyball scenes.
Director’s cut.
Equity, diversity, criminality
The Justice Department on Tuesday criminally charged Charlie Javice, founder of college financial planning platform Frank, with defrauding JPMorgan Chase
out of $175 million.
Javice, 31, is accused of “falsely and dramatically” inflating the number of customers Frank actually had in a scheme to “fraudulently induce” the bank to acquire the startup in 2021, federal prosecutors in Manhattan said. She stood to gain more than $45 million from the alleged deception, they added.
The one-time rising tech star — who was once named as one of Forbes’ 30 Under 30 — was arrested Monday night in New Jersey and is expected in Manhattan federal court Tuesday afternoon.
She faces four counts. They are one count of conspiracy to commit bank and wire fraud, one count of wire fraud affecting a financial institution, one count of bank fraud, and one count of securities fraud. Three of the charges each carry a maximum sentence of 30 years in prison.
We need more female fraudsters.
30 under 30 is sure racking up the Ls.
That was my first thought as well.
How stupid does one have to be to put this into a goddamned EMAIL??
Criminal genius is descriptive.
When you aren’t good enough to code your own fraud. It should have been coached in, “provide a dataset to challenge our security measures to combat fraud. ”
The professor is also and idiot… they needed plausible deniability.. I guess the $$$ made them stupid too.
In most technical groups your reputation is all you have… the payout for fraud had better be so large that you can retire immediately.
How could she not have seen that coming?
FFS, flee the country with your ill-gotten gains, dumbass.
https://nypost.com/2023/04/05/charlie-javice-freed-on-bond-after-defrauding-jpmorgan-charge/
How could a large sophisticated operation like MorganChase not have done adequate due diligence before lending this fraudster money? In my career I can remember banks crawling all over us before giving a $1 million LOC.
Only four counts? Each email, text message, phone call and hallway conversation is supposed to be charged separately!
No kidding. The Donald gets thirty-odd felony counts for the most minor and technical potential misrepresentation, and she gets four for a 9-figure fraud?
Inventing Anna season 2 sounds great!
What kind of weak-ass due diligence was JPMorgan conducting, anyway?
Hey look, they were all using the correct pronouns, isn’t that enough due diligence?
Due diligence is for unimportant people without political connections who can’t just pick up the phone and tell their buddies in the prosecutors office to take care of it for them while a judge helps them claw back their money in a civil suit.
Aren’t they the bank who’s supply of investment nickel turned out to be rocks?
Due Diligence by AI.
21st century parlor tricks
Christopher Pissarides – a professor at the London School of Economics who specializes in the impact of automation on work — said the labor market can adapt quickly enough to artificial intelligence-backed chatbots. His remark damp down concerns that rapid advances in technology could bring mass job losses.
“I’m very optimistic that we could increase productivity,” he said in an interview at a conference in Glasgow. “We could increase our well-being generally from work and we could take off more leisure. We could move to a four-day week easily.”
Chatbots, such as OpenAI’s ChatGPT and Google’s Bard, have been hailed as a potentially transformative technology that could cause a productivity boom but also expose hundreds of millions of white collar jobs.
Spiritualism and seances are back.
I will personally laugh when the automation starts replacing white collar jobs. I’ll remember covid when the laptop class was all in on shuttering down the economy for covid for a fucking bad cold/flu and how these cunts acted like it was just all a big vacation for them. And then fought to continue work-from-home long after like it was a god given right.
“The combination of significant labor cost savings, new job creation, and higher productivity for non-displaced workers raises the possibility of a productivity boom that raises economic growth substantially,” Goldman’s economists said in a report last month. “We estimate that AI could eventually increase annual global GDP by 7%.”
Stop it. You’re killing me.
Pie in the sky talk about AI aside, there is a shit ton of deadweight in the laptop class and in the “white collar” job communities. And I realize it hits a little close to home for some of those who post here, but the trimming is coming.
HR departments should be devastated. There is always a silver lining.
I was going to add in that unfortunately they’ll be the ones who survive. They will be the ones who write the rules on how AI can be used and they will argue that a chatbot could understand the nuances of human interactions. How can a chatbot spot all 491 flavors of potential racism and sexism hidden in the workplace?
The only real silver lining is they’ll have fewer people to inflict their stupid ideas on with smaller workforces.
Now I have to ask myself- would a JPM chatbot M&A officer have have given the green light to that “Frank” swindle?
“You’re soooo hot. How much do you want? Are you sure that’s enough?”
there is a shit ton of deadweight in the laptop class
That is irrefutably true. That busy work needs to be done away with, not “done more efficiently”.
Skynet in the form of the Two Bobs.
“I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you
peoplecomputer overlords?”That would require regulations to be restricted or loosened. I’m in exporting and we need to do government reporting when the amount of the shipment is over
$2500.00. This value hasn’t increased in over 20 years. With inflation the reporting should be about double that. Adjusting the value of the trigger would reduce the amount of paperwork provided to the government. With improved computing the amount of time to produce this work remains roughly the same. But it means we don’t get the productivity value out of the improved computing. The counter argument is that we have better statistics. But better statistics don’t help us that much in achieving our 5 year plan.
“Black MAGA are some of my truest friends,” Donald said, slightly cheered. “I want to rub their curly heads and listen to jazz.”
“We’ll call in an order to your favorite McDonald’s tonight, get you ready for tomorrow.” the hair said soothingly.
“Pick out a Black to have dinner with me,” Donald said. “Only they understand the persecution I go through.”
Heh.