*ring* … *ring* …*ring*

“Yes? Hi Mex… of course Old Man is too busy with an NPR Lady to do links. I can do them. What do you mean with the Cryptids?! Are you fooking crazy?”

“Yes, I know I haven’t done any in a while, and neither have they. Fine.”

One these days I am going to escape the snares and traps Mexican Sharpshooter lays in the Glibs work schedule for me. But today is not that day.

*Ahem*

Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen, to Sunday Morning All Star Cryptid Links! I am your host, Swiss Servator. Why don’t we check in with our Chief Cascadia Correspondent, STEVE SMITH. STEVE, what do you have for us this morning?

NEED LINKS!

HI CHEESE PERSON! STEVE SMITH WORK VERY HARD FREE CASCADIA. HIM KEEP UP ON NEWS THERE. HIM SHARE LINK FROM PORTLAND. THINGS VERY BAD THERE. TOO MANY HOBO, BUM, SOAK, RUMMY AND DRUGGIE. MAYBE THEM CLEAN UP CITY A LITTLE?  STEVE SMITH PREFER STAY IN WOODS. CAMPER HE SAY HI TO NOT METH BUMS. BY SAY HI TO, MEAN RAPE.

FREE CASCADIA!

Well….thanks for updating us on the area, STEVE. Next we will turn to our Senior CLEANSING CORRESPONDENT, ZARDOZ. What news for us, ZARDOZ?

VOTE ZARDOZ!

ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. AFTER LONG CONSIDERATION, ZARDOZ HAS DECIDED TO RUN AS A CANDIDATE FOR THE COUNTY BOARD. ZARDOZ KNOWS THAT WITH THE BACKING OF THE TABERNACLE, HE CAN MAKE THE BEST DECISIONS FOR WEBSTER COUNTY, IOWA…AND TO MAKE SURE ITS BRUTAL RESIDENTS ARE CLEANSED. ZARDOZ SHARES A LINK THAT SHOWS HOPE FOR MORE CLEANSING OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS!

ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.

Well, we at Glibs certainly wish you good luck with your election, Big Z. Make sure you get all those Brutal Exterminators registered! and finally, we now hear from our Martime Mayhem Correspondent, SEA SMITH. SEA, what news have you?

NICE DAY FOR A WALK!

SEA SMITH HAPPY HE BE HERE! HE LIKE FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN LAND HOOMANS. FIRST, HE WANT SAY THAT THIS NOT SEA SMITH FAULT! SEA SMITH NOT GO LAKE ERIE FOR LONG TIME! FUNNY GLIBERTARIAN LAND HOOMANS MAY NOT KNOW, SEA SMITH STUDY BUSINESS! HIM WANT LEARN ALL THINGS, SO HE KNOW WHERE SHIP GO. SO HIM READ THIS, AND WORRY SHIP SLOW DOWN, NOT SO MUCH OPPORTUNITY SAY HI SHIP, HI CREW! BY SAY HI, MEAN RAPE.

COME ON IN, WATER IS FINE!

Who knew our Cryptids were expanding their horizons so broadly? Now, time for to get the heck out of here, as STEVE SMITH is trying the armored studio door handle again… the comments are all yours.

 

P.S. Read this stuff.