Went to B’more for my mom’s 90th birthday party. She’s frail, very frail. But still, her same feisty self. There’s an NP who makes the rounds of her floor. She knows to see Mom last because Mom has the sleeping habits of a teenager- “Up at the crack of noon!”- and gets very cranky if she is awakened before then. In any case, the NP comes in with a fresh nurses’ aide student in tow whom she’s helping to train.

“How are you doing, Carla?”

“Oh, just fine.”

The young aide points to a sculpture Mom keeps in her room, Giacometti’s “Walking Man” (it was in the living room of our house) and asks her about it. Mom replies, “I love that statue. I talk to him a lot when I feel lonely. Every once in a while, he answers back.”

Long pause. “It’s a pity that it doesn’t have a penis.”

The aide looked like she was going to choke. The NP said to her, “I told you that the last visit of the day would be a spicy one.”

And there are some spicy birthdays as well, including the quintessential do-gooder; a major fraud who’s still getting away with it; a guy who I’m sure cheated a black man out of glory; a guy who was always ready with an appropriate bromide; a guy who was a total space case; an essayist whose work made far more sense to me when I was a kid; the greatest football coach until Belichick came along; the greatest commercial spokesman for sparkling wine, ever; the second-greatest (eligible) scientist to never get a Nobel; the greatest baseball player not named Babe Ruth; half of the greatest pure pop band; and a guy who built the best exercise machine in movie history.

Oh yes, we were here for Links, weren’t we?

 

Let the lynching begin!

 

Now, if we can get rid of the Quaker Oats guy, too…

 

Streisand Effect incoming!

 

I’d call it a bad decision, but what do I know?

 

Start with a dishonest headline, go from there.

 

“It’s so crowded, nobody goes there any more.”

 

But this is why they came there.

 

How do you feel about this?

 

I can always tell when I walk into the coffee shop when WebDom is working. The music will almost always be James McMurtry or The Dead South. This was on when I walked in yesterday morning.