As I write this, I am not bed ridden, but I am not feeling particularly well.  I am just sitting and watching the ceiling fan spin because I am incapable of taking a nap.

This is my review of New Belgium VooDoo Ranger Juice Force IPA:

I never did like installing ceiling fans.  While not particularly difficult, its more of a hassle than you would think it should be.  Assembling the thing above your head…shoulders weary…dust falling…damnit I just dropped another screw.  When I moved into my house it was in February, and the room that was to become the living room was warm.  I asked the old owner why they hadn’t installed a ceiling fan.  She looked at me weird.

So I crawled through the attic and found a circuit to tap, and sent a whip to the center of the room.  A brushed nickel Hampton Bay I turn it off on occasion to clean, but that fan has been spinning non-stop for the past nine years.  Its an amazing unit.

Too bad the government wants it gone. (TW:  Fox News)

According to the Energy Department’s analysis, the new rules would save households about $39 over the lifespan of the new energy-efficient fan. However, the cost to manufacturers associated with the increased equipment will total $86.6 million per year, the department said.

$39?  Did they adjust for inflation?

Okay, I can be open minded.  Lets see what they recommend.  Aeratron.  No picture of the unit.  Fanimation (fucking really?).  No picture of the unit.  Okay lets see if Home Depot has one for sale.  No they don’t sell either brand.  Okay!  Lowes has Fanimation.  This fan however is not only another hideous example of the Bauhaus school of shit, it retails for over $500.

This is worse than the LED light bulbs.  I am not going to pay $500 for a new fan, only to save $40 in total energy costs.

Please note both retailers offer Big Ass Fans.  This company however makes the Ferrari of ceiling fans, and is certainly out of range for the average consumer.

 

If I hate IPA so much why do I keep drinking it?  Two reasons:  some of you people actually like them, and they often come with a nice amount of alcohol.  Perfect for drinking right before trying to take a nap.  It has a nice citrusy blast, reminiscent of the Kool Aid man buttstroking you in the head at 0400 because you haven’t yet upgraded to high efficiency electrical appliances.  Comply citizen.  OH YEAH. New Belgium VooDoo Ranger Juice Force IPA: 2.2/5 9.5% ABV, 30 IBU