HOW THE WEEK WENT

Not today, Saban!  Well, yes, Saban….or, anyway, last Saturday in the second half.  Tuscaloosa (motto:  try our biscuits!) is a nasty town with bad biscuits.  Saban is from West Virginia, a fact, like his height, that is not remotely his fault, but at least he doesn’t wear lifts.  Hiram Williams was from Mount Olive, Alabama, one of his grandfathers fought on both sides in the Civil War, and he was a goddammed genius.

I’m a rollin’ stone, all alone and lost. For a life of sin, I have paid the cost. When I pass by, all the people say There goes another boy on the lost highway.

Just a deck of cards, and a jug of wine And a woman’s lies makes a life like mine. For, the day we met, I went astray I started rolling down that lost highway.

I was just a lad, nearly 22 Neither good nor bad, just a kid like you. And now I’m lost, too late to pray Lord, I paid the cost, on the lost highway.

Now boys don’t start to ramblin’ round On this road of sin, are you sorrow-bound? Take my advice or you’ll curse the day You started rollin’ down that lost highway.

 

After a month away from golf, I carded a 13-over round, so at least one thing went fairly well with my Saturday.

Sorry:  there is very little news this week.

 

Duke ain’t 21st,

and got doubled up by Free Shoes U; they fell, but only to 20th.

Oregon State ain’t 16

and was off for the week.

North Carolina ain’t 17th,

lost to 1-5 Virginia….at home….and plummeted to……….  17th.

Utah ain’t 12th

but outlasted USC, so now they’re 13th.

UCLA ain’t 24th,

but they stomped Stanford, so now they’re 23d.

 

BIG MISS INCUBATOR

Florida State sure as shit ain’t 4th,

or so I thought:  they dispatched Duke.

Oklahoma ain’t 18th,

and they barely survived Mickey and Minnie U at home, so they fell to 6th.

Washington sure as shit ain’t 8th,

and somehow they narrowly escaped 1-5 Arizona State.  For this BS they get to sit at 5th.

Michigan ain’t 2d,

but they bulldozed Sparty (I know, I know:  they got nothing this year) for a fourth blow-out in a row.

Missouri ain’t 20th.

They’ll get schooled soon, but not by SCAR:  they rise to 16th.

 

 

 

NEWLY OVER-RATED

Air Force ain’t 19th.  This is so dumb.

Tulane, the cream of the Uhmerican Conference, ain’t 22d, but that doesn’t mean it will get proven and voted that way this year.

James Madison is well-named but should not be rated at all.

OLD NEWS IN OVER-RATED

There are not nine twelve eleven ten eight teams better than Alabama:  but, even if there are, Tennessee ain’t one of them..

 

EVEN MORE USELESS OPINIONS

best one-loss team:  Bama (honorable mention:  Penn State)

best two-loss team:  LSU (keep trying, Irish!)

best three-loss team:  Texas A&M

best four-loss team:  Texas Christian

best five-loss team:  Texas Tech

best six-loss team:  Arkansas….which is better than any five-loss team

best seven-loss team:  Sam Houston State

best eight-loss team:  Wofford

 

That’s all, folks:  no news to speak of this week!

 

Addenda

 

 

 

 SPECIAL PRIME SECTION

Colorado ain’t 22d, and they took the week off. 

 

TOLD’JA SO INVENTORY

we wish to hear their names no more

but no new hides were hung on the wall today

Tulane ain’t 24th

Colorado ain’t 22d

Texas ain’t 3d

Miami ain’t 20th

Florida shouldn’t be ranked at all

Missouri shouldn’t be ranked at all

Fresno shouldn’t be ranked at all

Ole Miss shouldn’t have dropped five spots for losing to Bama

Washington State ain’t 23d

Louisville ain’t 14th

Kansas lost at Stillwater and is now unranked