Give Thanks for Thanksgiving

The Devil Takes a Holiday

I couldn’t do it.Β  I wrote up Thankskilling as the featured film for Thanksgiving, and I had to stop myself.Β  Does that mean I… I care about you people?Β  I have feelings*?

Well, regardless of my personal issues I decided to post something people might actually watch and enjoy.Β  The Devil Takes a Holiday is designed specifically to make fun of the politically correct. The film was originally titled Bigots, Perverts, & other fine Americans which lets you know it will be a fine family film.Β  And it is quite the Thanksgiving film.Β  So many twists and turns, and so many stereotypes.Β  Absolutely enjoyable.Β  Also I don’t feel like I need to go outside town limits for a week and bathe in a river after watching it, unlike Thankskilling.

Now, just in case you DO need to empty the house of guests, I am including part of my original writeup below:

ThankskillingΒ and Thankskilling 3: These Β films are hilarious but have more trigger warnings than a gun range on Saturday morning. So be prepared.Β  There is graphic puppet sex, murder, possible furries, and since we are rounding out Boobvember, lots of that as well.Β  In fact each film starts with that.Β  It’s the same actress in both films, named Wanda Lust. No, not the crossdresser Wanda Lust from the 1970s.Β  This is a totally different person who is a woman.Β  You will feel unclean after watching these, as well you should.Β  Maybe I should have shownΒ  A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving instead?Β  That’s a pretty good horror comedy.

So watch!Β  Or don’t! Everything is voluntary!Β  Next up, on November 30th I will be playing Holy Shit, a film shot entirely inside of a porta-potty. Then the December holiday posts begin with the Hebrew Hammer on December 7th.

*R.J’s small heart grew three sizes that day, so he decided to post a film about gangsters, vegans and the Gays. He spared his friends an awful fate. Heck, he didn’t like Thankskilling anyway. Happy Thanksgiving, you reprobates!

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About The Author

R.J.

Hello. My name is R.J. I am a Tulpa with extra cheese and sour cream.

110 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    I’ve over exerted myself this Firstivus. Spirit is still willing, but flesh is pruning and scabbing.

    • R.J.

      Grab some lotion and watch a movie then. It’s Thanksgiving, a time of over extending the body and mind.

      • Brochettaward

        I think…I think I’ve come down with seconder’s disease.

        • Brochettaward

          I have a cold. This is outrageous. I am being punished for something I have done.

          • Brochettaward

            Or perhaps something that I have not done?

            How can I ponder these questions with a head cold?

            • R.J.

              My cold is scheduled to start tomorrow. I had no time for it today

          • Ted S.

            You haven’t been punished enough.

  2. DEG

    he film was originally titled Bigots, Perverts, & other fine Americans which lets you know it will be a fine family film

    Beautiful.

    It’s the same actress in both films, named Wanda Lust.

    I looked her up on boobpedia. Implants. Sad.

    Diving into the movie in a few minutes….

  3. Sean

    Damnit, I thought that was going to be the full Charlie Brown movie.

    • R.J.

      Heh. Apple owns that now, sadly.

      • Sean

        *kicks pebble*

  4. DEG

    Monogrammed pen set.

    Heh.

    • R.J.

      Everyone, this is the open Zoom for Thanksgiving!

  5. DEG

    Is Chi-Chi the Wizard Mr. Miyagi?

    • R.J.

      Yes. A lot of famous people in this.

    • Pat

      I didn’t fry a turkey, but I’m still thankful for William Shatner.

      • Chafed

        #MeToo

  6. Pat

    Bird came out a little late, but I’m gonna queue this up still. Also

    I give thanks that my family is not portrayed in β€œThe Devil Takes a Holiday.”

    I give thanks that what’s left of my (extended) family is probably worse than anything portrayed in The Devil Takes a Holiday, and I never have to see another one of the sons of bitches again as long as I live.

    Also also I might just queue up Thankskilling anyway.

    Happy Thanksgiving, you tenderhearted extraterrestrial.

    • R.J.

      Thank you sir! The party has yet to stop over here. Still at least ten people over. I don’t hear Spaniard What Never Posts anymore, he must have gone home. Now people came into the room I am trying to Zoom from, and started partying.

  7. DEG

    I swore he said he was watching Gor.

  8. Mojeaux

    That’s not Mr. Miyagi! That’s Egg Shen!

    • Sensei

      If I had nickel for everyone asking me if I speak Chinese…

  9. DEG

    The Father meeting the girlfriend and the friend. Oh boy.

  10. DEG

    FUZZY DICE!

  11. Timeloose

    So full…..can’t drink anymore.

    This was one of the best thanksgiving dinners I’ve had in my life. My mom killed it this year. Turkey was moist and flavorful, mashed potatoes were perfect, and the stuffing was that perfect cooked in the bird flavor with crunchy bits mixed in.

    The dammed sweet potato’s were so good.

    I also spent quality time with my dad swapping out a carb on his snowblower prior to pie.

    In other words Thanks Family.

    • Sensei

      And why pray tell would you have swap the carb on a small engine?

      It’s not like they are jetted way lean for emissions or there is a hydroscopic energy reducing additive in the gasoline…

      • Ted S.

        It needed replacing?

        • Sensei

          You can buy Honda clone carbs for Honda clone motors on eBay cheaper than rebuilding the original Honda clone carb from the OEM.

      • Timeloose

        The snowblower is great, but every season it has been a non-start no matter the put away procedure. The jet gets deposits if it sits in stabil, mechanic in a bottle, dry, etc. This year he bought a new carb of 15$ it started immediately. It’s a serious design issue with this engine, several other had the same issues.

  12. Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

    Thankspilling to everyone! Now on my third(?) beer, more to come!

    And, in the honor of Pat (the bunny) this AM, I am thanks to be accepted among you miscreants, thankful for a wonderful wife and kid, thankful for a beautiful house of my(our) dreams, and just plain happy with my personal life. A good friend is having 4 inches of lower intestine removed in late January (after hunting season) and that just sounds like it sucks. We are now calling him semi-colon. So, I am thankful I can help him when he needs it, and that it ain’t me!

    • DEG

      Best wishes to him.

      • Sensei

        Amen.

    • Ted S.

      I had two glasses of Rkatsiteli. That was more than enough.

    • Pat

      And, in the honor of Pat (the bunny)

      I have never been more flattered in my entire life.

      Glad you’re doing well.

    • rhywun

      that just sounds like it sucks

      It does.

      But in my case it was better than the alternative.

    • Zwak says the real is not governable, but self-governing.

      OK, stuffed now.

      I will pass along the well wishes to my friend, thank you everyone.

  13. DEG

    His plan to drive his brother up a wall is going to backfire on him.

  14. pistoffnick

    Thanksgiving meal turned out awesome.

    We made a herb, salt, and olive oil slurry/ tapenade/ chimichurri and rubbed it under the skin of the turkey. That is something we plan to do again.
    Mashed taters with turkey gravy
    Sage and sausage stuffing
    Smoked Macaroni and cheese
    Green bean casserole
    Sweet potato soufflΓ©
    Cornbread
    Focaccia bread
    Dinner rolls
    Pecan and Punkin pie

    I never want to eat again.

    • R.J.

      Yeah. I am onto the antacids.

    • pistoffnick

      The turkey carcass and the remains of the sweet potato soufflΓ© are in the chicken coop feeders now.

      There is something deliciously wicked about how a flock of chickens can completely de-meat the carcass of their brethren.

      /laughs evilly

      • R.J.

        Little dinosaurs!

      • rhywun

        I like nature shows and I love how they usually cut away from the inevitably grisly wetwork.

  15. DEG

    Lesbian trapped in a gay man’s body. Nice.

  16. kinnath

    17 guests tonight. It was great, but I am glad that it is over.

  17. DEG

    That got a little weird at the end.

    • R.J.

      Just a tad.

  18. Aloysious

    Finally. Time for something wholesome.

    *Clicks on Thankskilling*

  19. Aloysious

    Moobs. I do believe that I am traumatized.

    • R.J.

      Tell me what you think of the Turkee doggy style halfway through.

      • Aloysious

        “You just got stuffed!”

        If you were to ask me this morning about what I might possibly see today, turkey doggy-style would not have been on the list.

        As a critique, I don’t think the actors put their hearts and souls into that scene.

    • Chafed

      There’s a Charles Schumer cameo?

  20. Aloysious

    I think that old mountain man is a dirty hippy in disguise.

  21. Chafed

    I am now worried about next week’s movie.

    • groat scotum

      I’m in love again. She’s the loveliest.

      • rhywun

        +1 lovely

        • groat scotum

          This is why I’m still single, I keep falling in love with impossible girls.

          Well, that and I’m an unloveable bastard. But I guess the former.

            • rhywun

              lol There it is.

            • groat scotum

              I don’t get it…

              • rhywun

                The Doctor frequently referred to this companion as “the impossible girl” because she kept popping up in different eras.

              • groat scotum

                Oh no…

              • rhywun

                I’m going to refrain from expressing an opinion about that because de gustibus something something OMG I can’t even that is so heinous.

              • groat scotum

                do it rhywun, make my day

              • rhywun

                LOL nah.

                I listen to a lot of shockingly awful crap myself. It’s all good.

              • rhywun

                Case in point… I loved the ABBA original when I was 11 years old.

              • groat scotum

                Be an adult for once.

              • groat scotum

                OH HE DOESN’T LIKE ABBA

                fucking lameass

                Nobody, NOBODY doesn’t like ABBA.

  22. Aloysious

    “Her legs are harder to close than the Jon Benet Ramsey case.”

    Damn.

    • hayeksplosives

      Sick burn.

      What does that say about those of us who laughed?

  23. Aloysious

    “Gobble gobble, motherfucker! Now that’s what I call fowl play.”

    Was Swiss consulted on punnery for this script?

  24. rhywun

    β€œThere’s an ongoing genocide and our planet is dying,” another said.

    LMFAO

    If I were a jihadi I’d be insulted by all these brainwashed leftoids latching onto my cause with their idiot diatribes against every -ism on the planet.

    • Chafed

      That’s because you have integrity. They, on the other hand, enjoy useful idiots as long as they are useful. After that there is a lot of killing, raping, and slavery. But in the meantime they are useful.

  25. Toxteth O'Grady

    Gooble gobble! πŸ¦ƒ We accept us!

  26. rhywun

    LOL Chopping Mall is on Comet. Just in time for Black Friday, I guess. (Are we still calling it that?!)

    • CPRM

      Just bought Black Friday last year.

      • rhywun

        Nice! Never heard of that. πŸ€ͺ

  27. groat scotum

    I’m fighting with rhywun, I think I need to log off.

    Love you rhy <3 <3 <3

  28. groat scotum

    I am officially too dumb for Marvel movies.

    WTF is going on in End Game?

    • groat scotum

      Right, a soul for a soul. That’s what shocked me about Thanos tossing Gamora off the cliff. That was upsetting. What’s next?

      • groat scotum

        I hate this all. Black Widow sacrifices herself for nothing? My ass.

        • CPRM

          She sacrificed herself for a solo movie.

          • Ownbestenemy

            Went to OnlyFans?

  29. Suthenboy

    Wow.
    I kinda burned out and quit watching the news for a while. I took a break from here for a bit also.
    I just turned the news on this morning and paid attention for a few minutes.
    It is like having a smell or smoke in your house but you cant be sure so you step outside for a bit. When you come back in if there is any smell or smoke you can notice it much more easily.
    Holy shit. What I was hearing on the news is so fucking crazy I can hardly believe it. I heard all of this stuff before, but having it fade away and then being exposed to it again the absolute lunacy of it is like a slap in the face.
    I turned the news back off. Let me get back to watching video tutorials on tanning hides.

  30. UnCivilServant

    Today has started miserably. My head cold is worse and added the “painful, dry cough” to its symptoms alongside more widespread congestion.

    Blarg.

    • UnCivilServant

      Well, I’ve applied medication, and called in to work, despite not wanting to, so I should get some rest.

      • Ted S.

        It’s not as if government actually does any work.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Beau, Ted’S., U (feel better!), and Suthen!

      Back to work today, covering for Reliable Co-worker and avoiding Black Friday shoppers, then off to a musical event this evening in charming Metamora, IN.

      • Gender Traitor

        By the way, cool music! I love this ensemble just for their name! 😊

  31. Not Adahn

    Morning! Black Friday Steel shoot ahoy!

  32. Lackadaisical

    Since others were sharing thanksgiving tales… mine was also good, if small- my wife made the best mashed potatoes I’ve ever had, everything was really tasty and then we enjoyed a small campfire outside- taking advantage of the cool weather while it is here. Much to be thankful for.

  33. Ownbestenemy

    Morning folks. Quiet at the control tower today. Figure Ill put in about 2 hours and take off the rest of the day if it remains that way. Thanksgiving was good but definitely was missing Mrs. OBE and the kids. Made up for it by cozying up with the dog and putting on the Military Channel. I have become my father.

  34. Fourscore

    7 degrees this morning, got the wood furnace humming, little gas stove on here in the downstairs office/living room. Four deer showed up yesterday afternoon to scrounge under the bird feeders.

    Here with my good Glib friends, does life get any better?

  35. EvilSheldon

    Good morning, everybody! And a belated happy Thanksgiving!

  36. Suthenboy

    Brother and I off to the woods today.
    Other than here with Mrs. Suthenboy, our dogs and a good fire there is nowhere I would rather be.