Tomb Raider and I are in the Big City for the Big Event; she’s originally from the Bronx and her kids live in Bronx and Brooklyn. And as a bonus, her ex-husband will be there. I’m sure at dinner tonight, someone will try prodding me into saying something I won’t regret. I dunno, maybe they’ll want my affirmation about the Attack On Democracy® or the hell that Argentina is about to experience or the Palestinian Holocaust. Whatever, I’ll try to just smile, nod, and say something innocuous while being glared at by 5 other pairs of eyes. But hey, we’ll have excellent food and some magnums of pretty fine wine I hauled along. Hope yours is equally fun.

Know what else is fun? Birthdays, and today’s include one of Team Blue’s many racists; a guy with a mysterious attraction; a guy whom we can blame for talk radio; a guy who thought “Billy Pratt” was insufficiently horrifying; a guy second only to Curly for best comic actor; a guy who, if we dig deep enough, likely had a Hillary Clinton connection; a pitcher with an amusingly shaky windup; a guy who thought Black Lives Matter before it became a grift;  a corrupt, evil, and rather stupid Chicago politician (though that doesn’t narrow things down); a great argument for term limits and manssieres; the guy who taught me everything I know about Mexican food; one of the few Dead pianists who lived; a guy who took a country down the toilet at a speed that Biden and Carter would have envied; and a woman too crazy for even me to bang.

Let’s see what today’s news brings us.

 

OK, I’ve been to some reasonably unhinged office parties, but apparently I should have had a career at Taco Bell.

 

When faced with a choice between the Hat and the Hair, the Dutch opt for the Hair.

 

Man, this story just keeps getting better.

 

“He looka like… not a man.”

 

Imagine, an Obama official being an asshole bigoted loon. That’s even less likely than a Biden tranny stealing luggage. Right?

 

“I was just doing what the sign said!”

 

Well, this is a shock. Uh-huh.

 

I was just thinking about this song from a birthday boy. Dude can play.