Tonio sent word at 2am this morning informing me he is currently attending some biker cock fest out in the hills.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  I can’t get mad, I’d pick dick over you schlubs too…

…besides, it gives me a chance to tell a story about Kissinger.  He flew me out to some Dacha at the Soviet Consulate in Panama City back in 1978.  It was terribly demeaning.  He dressed me up as some Egyptian broad and insisted I answer to name “Anwar Sadat.”  Whoever the fuck that is.  The two Aye-Rab boys tied up and gagged with the gaggle of goats in the kitchen.  The candles circumscribing a circle in the den.  The sword.  The overflowing toilet.  He had me repeat the phrase, “let my people go.”

I am not comfortable sharing details, even now.  I will however say the worst thing he did, was pay me with a check.

Enough of that shit.

Gee lets think about this for a minute, who predicted Obamacare was going to result in more competition in the healthcare markets?

Let me tell you something about Red Lobster:  FUCK red lobster.

His name was Seth Rich.

What happened to the Irish? seriously.

Same bullshit playbook.  I hope you’re paying attention and investing in SEMTEX.

…and finally!

What happened to that cock tease, Gilmore?  He had this ersaTz joke about being so wrong, its not even on the same level as 1+1 not equaling 3, because at least 3 is a number.  This is 1+1 equaling sticking your dick in pineapple and pepperoni hotpockets.

Before or After you microwave it you ask?  Whatever you find more uncomfortable.