For our 25th anniversary we decided to spend a couple weeks in the Yucatan which had something for both of us.  Beaches and warm water for my wife, opportunities to explore by bike for me, and walks around Mayan ruins for us both.  Swimming, biking and walking.  Just like a triathlon.

Try-athlon #1 – Isla Mujeres

We caught the ferry from the terminal near our AirBnB over to Isla Mujeres.  With a name like that I was expecting a bevy of Mexican telenovela actresses, but alas it was not to be.  The plan was to rent bikes and ride around the island, but when we got there the plan changed.  The amount of traffic, mostly from golf carts, caused my wife to get cold feet.  Instead, the triathlon turned bi, and we rented a golf cart and joined the crowd.  The cart felt a lot like Autopia at Disneyland.  It went whatever direction it wanted as there was about 180 degrees of play in the steering wheel, and the brakes were bad.  Eventually I got the hang of the steering as we made our way down to Punta Sur, which despite its name is the easternmost point in Mexico.  There we saw a small Mayan ruin and lots of iguanas.  After that we drove up to the other end of the island for a swim at Playa Norte.  At dinner time we got suckered into a restaurant with a 2 for 1 drink offer.  I should have known it would be a scam, as the last time I fell for that I ended up seated next to a prostitute in Tijuana and was compelled by the friendly bouncer to order her a $10 beer (in 1990s dollars).  After complaining to the waiter that her first drink barely had any alcohol, my wife was afraid to drink the second one for fear of what they might have done to it, because she complained.

Where the women at?

Triathlon #2 – Tulum

Midway through our trip we moved about 2.5 hours by bus down the coast to Tulum.  Tulum seems to be positioning itself as an eco-friendly alternative to Cancun.  After all, nothing says I’m saving the environment like flying thousands of miles to stay in an eco-friendly hotel or a condo carved out of the jungle.  The large quantities of trash on the side of the road made it seem even more eco-friendly and authentic.  We borrowed a rust bucket of a bike from the condo where we were staying and headed for the ruins.  It seems all the bikes left over from Burning Man end up in Tulum.  

This is supposed to make me feel secure.

At the entrance of the park were heavily armed National Guard searching cars.  Apparently they were recently deployed to keep locals from harassing tourists.  The ruins were not as extensive or as well preserved as Chichen Itza, but the location on the coast was tough to beat.  This must have been the Malibu or Martha’s Vineyard of the Mayan world, which I guess is why the National Guard was deployed to keep the Mexicans out.  

Mayan Malibu

After making our way through the crowds of influenzas with their narcissisticks and tripods, we headed for the neighboring beach.  Shade was hard to come by, but eventually we found a spot under some trees with some locals.  The beach is not as protected as Cancun, so there were some decent waves for body surfing but not so rough that you couldn’t stand around waist deep in the water while you’re peeing.  After a couple hours of relaxation we rode toward town to book a rental car for the next day’s excursion to Coba.

Hit you with your selfie stick. You’re too slow. Take the pic!

Triathlon #3 – Coba

The next day we rented a car to go see the ruins at Coba and swim in some cenotes.  The drive was uneventful except potholes that could swallow a car, a manhole cover orthogonal to the road, and the Mexican penchant for passing where no passing is allowed.  There is no way I’d ride a bike on those roads, but some people did.

After paying the fee to the federal government for parking, and a fee to the local government to enter the archeological site, we paid another fee to rent bikes to see the ruins.  Because Coba is less well known than other sites in the area, we had to contend with fewer people wielding their selfie sticks.  The humid jungle air made it a little steamy in the nether regions, if you know what I mean.  A little Chamois Butt’r would have been in order, but at least we didn’t have to pedal too far.

I know the feeling.

A little down the road we came to the ball court where the players tried to knock the rubber ball through a small stone loop several yards off the ground using their hips and shoulders.  According to our guide at Chichen Itza a week earlier, the games could last five days and contrary to popular belief, it was the winning captain who was sacrificed, not the losing team.  Decapitation is for winners.  I’m guessing that after five days of playing a stupid game in the hot tropical sun the winner was ready to be put out of his misery.  His balls were probably hot too.

Despite winning, the captain lost his head.  Or maybe he just had no heart.

After the ball court, the trail led to the pyramid of Nohoch Mul, which is the tallest pyramid in the Yucatan.  Unfortunately these days climbing the pyramids is not allowed, so we had to view the pyramid from the base.  From the pyramid we backtracked a little bit to hop on a sacbe that took us to another group of ruins where we were heckled by a monkey up in the trees.

Stairway to Heaven.

Sacbes were the Mayan roads created with limestone stucco over a rock bed.  They were most prevalent within the towns, but some connected cities.  One of the longest known sacbes connects Coba with Yaxuna 100 km due west.  On the one hand I think it would be interesting to clear that road and open it up for cyclists and hikers, but on the other hand, the jungle scenery is kind of monotonous as the landscape is so flat there really isn’t much to look at.  To paraphrase our former President, once you’ve seen one stretch of jungle, you’ve seen it all.

After lunch in town we headed a little further into the jungle to go swimming in a cenote, which is basically a sinkhole filled with water.  Since the Yucatan is made of limestone, the place is riddled with cenotes, some exposed to the open air, some completely closed off.  We visited Multum-Ha which is accessible by descending about 60 feet down a circular staircase.  The water is 20 to 60 feet deep, and it is so clear that it looks like you should be able to touch the bottom only to be surprised when you try.  There are even some fish swimming around.  How did they get here?  Many of the cenotes are connected so it could have come from another cenote, but I’m not convinced that the fish weren’t planted.  

Indoor swimming pool.

Would I go to the Yucatan again?  Probably not.  Cancun feels like Daytona Beach.  That environment was fun as a college student on Spring Break, but I’m an old fart now.  The ruins were worthwhile and were on my bucket list, but veni, vidi, vici.  I got tired of all the people trying to sell me stuff and all the scammers.  It’s like nobody knows how to give correct change, and all the errors mysteriously go in the same direction.  Maybe there’s something to be said for the all-inclusive resorts in a place like Cancun, but that’s not really my style.