My visit to Georgia was interesting- I’m doing some work for a large Turkish company, and their CEO and owners flew in to meet me and witness the testing of the new products I helped them with. It’s always fun watching Middle Easterners and southern state Americans try to come to agreements. In this case, the Turks wanted to get their product certified, the Georgia folks were a certification lab, and you’d think it would be straightforward. Ha! The Turks cut a lot of corners and skipped a lot of mandatory documentation for traceability, but were convinced they could talk the lab into issuing a certification anyway, doing the culturally expected haggling.  I watched the interaction for at least 30 minutes with great amusement. No, they didn’t get a certification, but they got a test report, which clearly they were going to try to represent to their customers as a certification… Americans just don’t understand how the Middle East works.

They were insistent on bringing me over to Turkey for a visit. “You can bring your girlfriend, two or three days of work, then a week of vacation.” Yeah, I know how THAT would work out. No matter, I made a chunk of money, they gifted me a high end Montblanc pen, and a box of Turkish Delight they had smuggled in. I didn’t have much experience with the last beyond reading about it in CS Lewis, but after tasting it, I am truly baffled at why the Pevensie kid would sell out his family for this crap. Kid, there’s a world of Reese’s and Almond Joy out there.

Anyway, we do need to get to birthdays, and today’s are unusually numerous and include a guy who lost something-or-other; a guy who was the model of equilibrium; one of our great spiritual fathers; a guy with a problematic uncle; a guy who hit for the cycle; a guy who apparently liked skinny chicks; the ice man who cometh; a guy who had trouble with packing tape; one of my all-time favorite non-porn actresses; a woman who actually did learn to code; a guy who, collaborating with one of our worst presidents and fueled by copious amounts of ethanol, did incalculable harm to the US; the guy who gave Swiss his chin; one of my personal heroes who taught me the difference between nido, closo, and arachno; a delightfully filthy comic who (sadly) cleaned it up for TV; absolutely the best part of Saturday Night Live during its glory days (and that was the LEAST of his accomplishments); a guy who made a brilliant argument for intellectual property; a guy who was as Chicago as Ditka; a guy who set the tone for modern television; an actor so good he had a movie named after him; a guy whose sister learned about oral sex from me; a guy who was an embodiment of the TMBG song “We Want A Rock”; a woman who exists solely to show that Chuck Schumer isn’t the dumbest human from New York; and a fatter and uglier Michael Strahan.

Now we can sigh, take a breath, and move on to Links.

 

As much as I thought, “Fuck, Europeans are stupid and corrupt,” I realized that an even worse take will be codified here.

 

Nice folks, those Red Cross people.

 

Thank god, our long national nightmare is finally over.

 

This is twice in a row. Did he suddenly change handlers?

 

Why does anyone pretend that any of this actually matters?

 

As a native Baltimorean, this kind of thing pisses me off.

 

The slowest part of grift is determining the flow path.

 

I mentioned this song in Birthdays and suddenly got a hankering to listen to it. The Old Man always appreciates surrealism.