“Iowa and New Hampshire are ours!” the hat bellowed, drunk on Skinny Girl vodka and unflavored White Claw.
“I’m a genius,” Donald said, prying at the tab on his can of Diet Coke with the comically oversized knife Governor Schwarzenegger had given him when he won the California Primary in 2016. “A goddamn electoral genius.”
“Pride goeth before a fall,” the hair said, drunk on nothing.
“Bible fag,” the hat said and started giggling.
“Whatever,” the hair said. “I apologize for being literate.”
“I can read!’ the hat protested, “I just don’t want to. Reading kills my hat-boner.”
“Ron is gone,” Donald sighed as the can finally opened. He paused to drink the sweet brown nectar.
“We have to get him out of the campaign trail for us,” the hat said. “Meatball needs to work for the winning team from now on.”
“We still need a Vice President,” the hair said. “I doubt we can get Ron to do it, not after we accused him of wearing platform shoes and faking his wife’s breast cancer.”
“Did she get them cut off?” Donald asked. “Did we ever find out one way or the other?”
“Donald…” the hair began.
“I don’t like zippertits,” Donald said. “Even if they get implants, still looks like they stuffed their tits in a garbage disposal.”
The hair dropped from Donald’s head and plopped himself in his desk drawer, pulling it closed behind him.
“Weak,” Donald said, thumping the close drawer.
“There’s Vivek for VP,” the hat said. “Smart, committed, never said anything bad about you.”
“No browns,” Donald said. “They never vote for me.”
“That only leaves Nikki,” the hat said.
“NO BROWNS!” Donald roared, emitting a dense cloud of volatile Egg McMuffin particles into the office. He swept the hat off the desk and watched it land on the floor upside down, the empty turtle making mewling noises as it rocked back and forth to right itself.
“I need someone loyal, someone trustworthy, someone I can count on,” Donald said.
“Those all mean the same thing,” the hair said faintly from his drawer.
“Repetition for emphasis is a common and accepted rhetorical practice!” the hat said.
“Yeah, that’s right, you’re right, I agree,” Donald said, out of breath.
The hair laughed dismissively and Donald laughed triumphantly.
“Who has always supported me?” Donald asked, “Even in my lowest moments?”
“Donald?” the hat asked. “Can you turn me over? I’m afraid a bird is going to shit in me…”
“Pie,” Donald said. “Pie will be my Vice President!”
But he’s Romanian, not to mention the whole undead thing.
Boy, that was a twist!
That motorcycle in the movie was a 1981 Honda CM400 Hondamatic, one of the few motorcycles ever made with an automatic transmission
And close enough to the ground that he could touch the asphalt.
Karinne?
This is rather tame.
Written by AI?
It’s a trap!
…Skinny Girl vodka and unflavored White Claw
I am not familiar with either of these things, and am perfectly okay with it.
Vodka and seltzer water. White Claw is now making a nonalcoholic version…
I have what I refer to as a white trash cocktail that I make out of a specific brand of flavored seltzer water and dark spiced rum or vodka. It is quite refreshing and tasty, especially in the summer when it gets hot.
But the terms skinny girl vodka and unflavored White Claw just gives me the sads, and removes my will to live.
The thought of drinking that gives me the drizzly shits.
According to the google news headlines, yesterday’s victory was a giant loss.
Because reasons.
CNN said Trump should worry, because his speech sounded too confident.
Apparently, that will make her base angry and propel Nikki higher.
That sounds dumb.
On the other hand, they’re probably right that the results do not look good for Trump.
I fear a Mondale-esque loss in the general.
Reading kills my hat-boner.
I first read that as hate-boner.
Hat-boner is weirder.
Shouldn’t it be Lazy Girl Vodka?
I don’t like zippertits,” Donald said. “Even if they get implants, still looks like they stuffed their tits in a garbage disposal
I don’t remember the last time I regretted reading about tits. I mean, I’m sure its happened before, I just have no memory of this event.
Nancy Pelosi bathing suit photo?
What age Nancy?
NO BROWNS!” Donald roared
What does the Donald have against the Cleveland Browns? Did they let him down?
Alright. That’s it. Fuck Donald Trump! He can rot with Model!
You can still root for the OG Baltimore
BrownsRavens.No.
No we cannot.
Fuck the Ravens.
You had me at unflavored White Claw.
I felt this was a turning point as well. I was shocked that they could just take a trillion dollars and misappropriate it like that without comment. Then they used it to steal the most important manufacturer in the US… and nobody said a word. It was a scary moment.
They have become more brazen since, but that was a watershed moment.
For me, it was the after the fact changing of the rules of bankruptcy, where the secured lenders got boned just to save the unions (who CHOSE to go with unsecured debts).
I don’t think they even changed anything. Obama just threatened to ruin any of the secured creditors who tried to assert their rights… so they waked away from $30 billion to save the rest of their investments.
And then Obama illegally gave the company yo the unions who had no claim.
The whole event was crazy, and everyone pretended like it was great leadership and a wonderful thing.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troubled_Asset_Relief_Program
The first time I heard that song I was in grade school, and my brother and sister were in high school and had Purple Rain on vinyl. That was the naughty song they played when mom and dad weren’t around.
Supposedly Prince stopped playing that song live when he realized there were women bringing their kids to his shows.
Yes, I do like Prince, and even more so after reading his biography.
I saw him in Ft Lauderdale not too long before he died. He did Darling Nikki and you could hear the sound of 15,000 pairs of panties hitting the floor. 40 and 50 year old women became teenagers in an instant.
I saw him a couple weeks before his death in Oakland. We sat next to a middle aged black lady dressed in her Sunday best looking very respectable. As soon as Prince took the stage it was just as you described.
The Kevin Smith story about working with him is lit.
retard fight! However, I am not sure Savage is off the mark on this one.
https://twitter.com/dbongino/status/1749900376138981666
Savage has got to be the most bitter radio host I’ve ever heard and is damn near unlistenable because of it.
unflavored White Claw
Soda water?
White Claw soda water though. eh? EH?
In some markets, the NA White Claw costs more than the regular White Claw.
I’ve also heard a Tito’s add mentioning that you could add it to soda water.
From the prior thread discussing nitrogen gas as a method of execution… it is one of the recommended suicide/euthanasia methods because it it supposedly quick and painless.
Those of us who work in IT and have worked around halon systems know of the danger. Inert gasses give no warning. You just quickly lose consciousness with no smell, no gasping for air… the lights just go out and if you aren’t rescued quickly, you die.
My brother in law got injured by such a leak… sulfur dioxide. Walked into a cloud and dropped like a stone. Was lucky to survive. Still suffering effects from either hitting his head when he fell or oxygen deprivation. Didn’t feel a thing. Just woke up in the hospital.
When I went through chemical training in the Marine Corps, we saw a dashcam video of a cop that came up on an accident with billowing smoke and a man lying in the road.
Cop ran to assist while calling for an ambulance.
As soon as he got to the smoke, he started breathing heavy and collapsed, and you heard him die on his radio.
Sulfur dioxide is terrifying.
Sulfur Dioxide is nasty (and stinky) with an IDLH level of just 100 ppm. Although those limits are generally very very conservative. I often use SO2 gases to calibrate instruments, and Ill use a 2-3,000 ppm gas.
You may be thinking of Hydrogen Sulfide. Its much more deadly.
Maybe, it was years ago.
It was a thick white smoke.
My first real job out of college, we did a steam trap and valve audit for a Minnesoda company that made VCR tape. Hydrogen Sulfide was used in the process somehow. We were told that if the alarm went of we had less than 5 minutes to crawl down 4 flights of scaffolding clad in suits and fall arrest gear before we were dead.
Fall arrest gear? I think I see a short cut!
Car fire? Biggest danger is the seat cushions. They are made from PVC. The C being the danger. Burning that stuff releases a shit-ton of Chlorine gas. One good lung full and. you are playing checkers with Hitler….or Elvis, I guess it depends on which way you go.
Of course, we are Glibs…we all know which one it will be for us.
We installed a large liquid nitrogen tank where I work for chilling unit quickly in HASS chambers. I did not realize the hazards until an HSE audit brought it to my attention. We made several changes to the room, including O2 monitors that have alarms and flashing lights in the building outside the room, a remote garage door opener outside the room to vent, an emergency shutoff valve outside the room, and windows in the doors to be able to see if anyone is in the room when the alarms sound. Once I started reading about this it really was scary how we went so many years without even realizing the dangers we were putting people in.
I’ve been assured that only the government cares about work safety.
What is this? A private audit? And employer actions based on those finding? I’ve been told this never happens.
Most private entities murder their employees for sport. Were it not for the benevolent love of Big Brother we would all be dead.
They refused to listen to me and find orphans ‘willing’ to work in the HASS chambers. Now we have liability and shit.
Time remembers working in the lab on his thesis research which included cooling a sample with liquid nitrogen. I used a large 50L dewar with wheels to fill a 1L dewar that I walked back to my my test lab. It was summer and I was getting bored with waiting in between measurements as the temperature of the samples rose very slowly. It was hot in the room, so is started pouring out 1L dewars of LN2 on to the floor to see if it would significantly cool the room and to watch the LN2 capture and carry dust bunnies across the floor. I’m glad I didn’t add enough N2 to put me down. It was the same room that I shocked myself in with a cracked and shitty 40kV cable earlier in the year.
The stupidity of youth.
Nah, it’s fine. I didn’t lose my invincibility until I was about 24
SO2 + water = sulfuric acid. Your lungs have water in them.
yeah, breathing that is bad news. Even if you are rescued you run a high risk of lung scarring from the burns.
Those of us who work in IT and have worked around halon systems know of the danger. Inert gasses give no warning. You just quickly lose consciousness with no smell, no gasping for air… the lights just go out and if you aren’t rescued quickly, you die.
Halon, argon, et c. As I have previously mentioned, right after I moved to Livingston, several members of a prominent family died of carbon monoxide poisoning from a malfunctioning furnace. They were all sitting in the living room, watching teevee, and obviously never knew what happened to them. They just nodded off. Not the worst way to go.
Did anyone follow the Louder with Crowder revelation yesterday? Dude says they got a tip that a Blackrock executive was associated with an email account gleaned from a pedofile website.
Investigations showed that 11 different reverse lookup providers all had the executive linked to the email (and nobody else)
Her lawyer told them that he could prove that she had no connection to the site before learning what the site was or what the email was. The instant he was given the email address he denied that she ever had any association with that email… before even asking his client.
Even more odd… the email had been abandoned a couple of years earlier…. and someone registered it within an hour of them telling the lawyer what the email was.
But… never provided any proof that he said he had, just threatened lawsuits.
Still, a pretty bold stand by crowder. Rich, powerful and connected… and not much to gain by the takedown.
According to Crowder, the FBI seems to be sitting on it too. 4 people from the website are in prison, and they gave their research to the same FBI team that took then down. This all happened back in September. No action.
As soon as they are done investigating Seth Rich’s murder and Epstein’s pedophile ring, they will get right on it.
They might think Trump’s lawyer has the evidence.
Did fibbies ever get back to that “teach takeoff but not landing” pilot training complaint back in, what was it, 2001?
“Reading kills my hat-boner.”
Ain’t that the truth.
Now have Purple Rain stuck in my head.
And I mistyped. This is sad. “I” somehow did not appear. I must slow down.
At least you capitalized the N.
naggers ?
Nattering Nabobs.
of Negativity
I remembered when this happened. Verdict just arrived. Did not expect the million to one shot defense.
https://apnews.com/article/wrong-driveway-shooting-new-york-gillis-monahan-b00206a2740a80af67e8086ef3ed75ba
“He said he then tripped over nails sticking up from the porch, lost his balance and the shotgun struck the deck. That, he said, accidentally caused his gun to fire at the Ford Explorer carrying Gillis.”
Jury took under an hour to convict.
Sad story for the girl’s family.
I hate reporters though. I’m guessing she’s white, because it was never mentioned, so why include this tidbit like it’s connected:
TMITE
Meet the new fascism, same as the old fascism
The workers’ demand to be fully included in the green transition in the auto industry is a call for a revival of the system that prevailed in World War II, when government investment was effectively combined with private initiatives, strong labor standards, and direct union involvement. Indeed, it was the UAW under its first president, Walter Reuther, that pioneered this strategy in the days after Pearl Harbor, forcing a much more rapid conversion to war production than the auto companies had said was possible. It is this speed and scale—driven by a new kind of relationship between firms, workers, and the state—that will be needed if the planet is to avoid ruin.
——-
Stakeholder capitalism does not mean the end of private ownership of firms, nor does it abandon the idea of the firm as a profit-making entity. Instead, it seeks to shape how corporations are governed, what their incentives and constraints are, and how they fit into the wider picture of societal governance as they pursue their mission of long-term profit generation. It does mean that shareholders—who retain in all the world’s significant economies a disproportionate role in the governance of private firms—have to act as stewards for the firm in the context of markets actively shaped by states in the service of the common good.
The UAW strike suggests the possibility of a shift toward stakeholder capitalism. Without such a shift, there is a risk that fossil fuel interests and others who oppose decarbonization may argue that moving toward a green economy imperils workers, blocking any chance societies have of getting climate change under control and preventing further progress toward economies that are both equitable and environmentally responsible. But the strike demonstrated that an economy can be made both more sustainable and more inclusive. The world need not choose between good jobs and a green economy.
Threat level high. Only the common enemy has changed. We must band together in subservience to the Greater Good, as personified by the State. Stronger together.
I know when I think forward thinking, responsible workforce, I think of the UAW.
Jesus what a pile of buzzy nonsense.
I feel like endumbening myself so I don’t have to know that this stupidity exists and how much damage it’s doing.
“Government investment was effectively combined with private initiatives, strong labor standards, and direct union involvement.”
You mean Italian fascism?
I’ll just leave this here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA8Uav7EPlQ
I see and understand the individual words here, but that’s it.
Right? It’s complete flapdoodle. It is perfect example of that point in Newspeak where politicians just utter long streams of content-free nonsense.
I see and understand the individual words here, but that’s it.
Allow me to translate: OBEY
I think it’s more “Gimmie”.
Yes. Right here in this line:
“gives the needs of all the stakeholders in the economy their due.”
Allow me to translate:
“Gives the elite grifters their due”
Fourth Reich!
Now with diversity and inclusion.
https://twitter.com/stclairashley/status/1750174060326138101
I am demoralized and do not wish to work. Everything is balls. I might be moving on soon, I need a pace where I can actually achieve something, instead of endless meetings and negative progress.
The good news is, you folks benefit from my pain. I went movie questing and found some presents:
This week is still “Linda Lovelace for President,” couldn’t be more appropriate with Nikki staying in the race.
“Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead” cropped up. Count Potato will be delighted. No need for an explanation on the subject matter. It is exactly what it says in the title.
“Mega Time Squad” Useless New Zealand teen stumbles upon time travel.
“Pets” (1973): Rich man keeps women like pets in his luxurious dream bedroom.
“Benny Loves You” Murderous muppet kills sad useless people.
So screw work. I will sit here and write up movies.
I am demoralized and do not wish to work. Everything is balls. I might be moving on soon, I need a pace where I can actually achieve something, instead of endless meetings and negative progress.
Sorry. Best wishes on moving on. I think that will be for the best.
Those movies look interesting.
The Bee sums it up:
https://babylonbee.com/news/gracious-trump-slaughters-fatted-calf-to-welcome-prodigal-desantis-back-home
https://babylonbee.com/news/nikki-haley-celebrates-getting-more-votes-in-gop-primary-than-any-other-democrat-in-history
This is great, a follow up to the conversation up post regarding Kari Lake:
https://justthenews.com/politics-policy/elections/arizona-gop-chair-resigns-after-leaked-audio-him-offering-lake-cash-stay
He already resigned. Apparently, Lake had even more damaging recordings. This quote from him is priceless:
“…a few hours ago, I received an ultimatum from Lake’s team: resign today or face the release of a new, more damaging recording.”
So he was going to fight and stay, knowing he was a corrupt dickhead, and only resigned because he got caught with an even worse recording! Boy I wish someday that recording would be released.
I dunno though. Bribing the lunatic who cost Arizona the last election to just go away doesn’t seem like a horrible move for Republicans.
Also fair.
resign today or face the release of a new, more damaging recording.
You don’t resign unless you know that threat is real.
It had to be pretty bad.
Get your popcorn ready.
https://twitter.com/GregAbbott_TX/status/1750235544951349275
Get your popcorn ready.
https://twitter.com/GregAbbott_TX/status/1750235544951349275
For some reason I can no longer post a comment with a link. So without a link:
Get your popcorn ready. Gov. Abbott sent a letter to Biden pointing out in the Constitution where it’s the FedGov’s job to protect states from invasion, and states having a right to defend their borders.
After the Biden admin reads that strongly worded letter I’m sure they’ll capitulate.
Oh, bravo! Sarcastic remark of the day, at least!
I know I’m totally blackpilled lately. It’s just a feeling I have.
Clearly I am as well. It’s a pit of despair here.
At least you have a pit.
Migrants aren’t invaders, you silly goose.
This.
It was have zero impact. The Dems will take it as a challenge to let in more “asylum seekers”.
Secede already Tejas, let’s get this thing kicked off before I’m too old.
I was hoping for some kind of Declaration.