“I really thought the Iran War would be more fun,” the hat said. Donald grumbled as he pissed in the ficus behind the Resolute desk.
“How is that thing even still alive?” the hair asked the hat.
“Iran? I dunno.”
“The ficus, stupid,” the hair said.
“I’m not stupid, your stupid,” the hat shot back.
“You’re,” the hair said archly. “It’s spelled Y-O-U-R-apostrophe-R-E.”
“What?” the hair said, bill in a grimace. Donald still wasn’t finished. He is a large man with a large tank.
“You spelled it Y-O-U-R.”
“Grammar gay fag gay,” the hat spat.
“The construction of the sentence is horrible.”
“Dear God in Heaven, Donald,” the hat asked, “aren’t you done yet?”
“It just keeps going,” the hair said, impressed despite himself.
“How many Diet Cokes has he had in the last 24 hours?” the hat asked.
“39.”
“Donald…”
“I was playing golf,” Donald said, the stream of urine finally faltering.
“No, you weren’t,” the hair said.
“I was thinking about playing golf!”
“You should be thinking about making the Iran War more entertaining,” the hat said, lowering his voice a few octaves, tapping his bill on the desk.
“This again,” the hair said tiredly.
“Where are the explosions?” the hat asked. “Where are the bombsight videos of guided missiles? Oil fields burning?”
“I know, I know,” Donald said, zipping up and sitting down.
“Have you even double-tapped a wedding with a drone?” the hat asked in a wail of need.
“Kash is here!” Kash said, stumbling into The Oval Office, a half-depleted six pack of Natty Light swinging to-and-fro from one finger in an empty ring.
“Nope,” the hat and Donald and the hair said in unison.
“We’re not doing funny drunk this season,” the hair said coldly.
“OUT! GET OUT!” the hat screamed, as Kash shambled away.
“Grammar gay fag gay” needs to be on a T-shirt for sale on the Glibs merchandise site.
Under Rape Apologist?
Oops, my bad Rape-Culture.
Grammar Nazis vs Grammar LGBTQQIP2SAA+?
The Venn diagram of that has a lot of crossover.
milliwatt quiltbag
There you go again, SF.
I feel like I’m looking at something that I should avoid but yet…
…like a moth to a flame…
In legal terms, I’m what’s known as an “attractive nuisance.”
Sorry, but you’re not attractive.
Rule 34 says that someone would be attracted.
I’m catnip to a certain sort of gal that is broken in just the right way.
You misspelled “persistent odor.”
Dominatrix that withholds the insulin?
“Kash is here!” Kash said, stumbling into The Oval Office, a half-depleted six pack of Natty Light swinging to-and-fro from one finger in an empty ring.
This is too tame.
And Kash never even knew who was yelling at him.
Kash is going to sue SF for… 1 million dollars! *pinky to face*
He can hear them when drunk.
Yeah, I’d assume that elevated states of consciousness would enable that.
Aren’t the Dot Indians always in an elevated status?
Kash may not have even heard the hat. Not everyone can hear the Hat and Hair. And there is no rhyme or reason as to who can or can’t; Barron can’t hear them, which suggests it’s not genetic.
Barron is the product of a Nephilim or parthenogenesis.
The Donald had nothing to do with that child.
Donald should have a hat like this.
With a Glib button to complete his ensemble .
CPRM is needed urgently to put to eyes and a mouth on that hat.
Funny drunks are always in season, same as well-intentioned bumblers.
Celebrate, celebrate, dance,,.
https://www.earthday.org/earth-day-2026/
your’re?
That’s how it’s spelled, but it’s pronounced “yinz”.
One of the great opening lines.
Does human urine actually bother plants? I’d have thought there’s be some benefit from the nitrogen in urea.
It depends on the plant. They have a wide range of conditions they prefer to live under.
AI sez:
We live in an era of wonders, when such an idle htought can be answered:
Human urine is a nutrient-rich, fast-acting fertilizer with an approximate average NPK ratio of 11:2:4. It is particularly high in nitrogen (as urea), making it excellent for leafy greens. It is commonly diluted at 1:10 (urine:water) for general garden use or 1:20 for sensitive plants.
Lowimpact.org
Lowimpact.org
NPK Breakdown and Key Facts
Average Ratio: Often cited as 11:1:2 or 11:2:4.
Composition: Fresh urine is generally safe, sterile, and contains Nitrogen (N), Phosphorus (P), and Potassium (K).
Nutrient Density: Approximately 0.6% Nitrogen, 0.05% Phosphorus, and 0.15% Potassium by volume.
Usage Examples:
Direct Application: One part urine to 10 parts water for garden beds.
Potted Plants: A weaker dilution of 1:20 is recommended.
Compost Accelerator: Undiluted urine can be poured onto compost to speed up breakdown.
Synonyms/Related Terms: Liquid gold, “humanure” component, urea fertilizer, organic liquid fertilizer.
Lowimpact.org
Lowimpact.org
Key Considerations
Dietary Impact: Higher protein diets increase the nitrogen concentration in urine.
Storage: If not used immediately, it can be stored, but urea will convert to ammonia, significantly increasing the smell.
Caution: Avoid over-application, as high salt levels in urine can harm plants.
Lowimpact.org
Lowimpact.org
“Honest, officer, I was fertilizing my garden, not flashing the neighbors”
The brown grass within range of my deck would suggest that it is not good for plants.
When I was a we child my science fair project was about the scourge of those times — Acid Rain.
It turns out that until you drop below pH 4, the nitric acid actually improves plant growth.
(Acid rain is a mix of nitric/sulfuric acids. Rain naturally contains carbonic acid as does literally any water that has been exposed to the air.)
Yeah, but that’s like half aquavit I assume.
I should make some more aquavit. I remember that last batch being really good.
Depends on how much of a perv the plant is. I bet some of those ficus plants are *really* into it. Jade Plants and Umbrella Plants, probably not so much.
“You’re,” the hair said archly. “It’s spelled Y-O-U-R-apostrophe-R-E.”
Fourth Wall broken. This raises all kinds of questions, and is subtly disturbing.
I was going to comment on that, but it occurred to me that the words (in my dialect) are also pronounced differently.
Oh, I didn’t consider that. Yeah, they are for me, too.
Your dialect is not American?
You know, I was never so disturbed as years ago in Canada when somebody identified me as Californian because of my accent.
I’m whichever one fails the Mary/marry distinction but keeps “merry” unique.
“He can hear the spelling!”
I too was unsettled by this revelation.
Fistbump for the use of ‘arch.’ That word came up in last Sunday’s game of Connections with the parents, and neither of them had ever heard it used that way before.
Rigged?
“I mean, I think everyone loses for that,” Fetterman told host Chris Cuomo when informed that Democrats were projected to win approval of an aggressively gerrymandered congressional map in Tuesday’s election.
Fetterman pointed out that the Democratic push to redraw congressional boundaries in Virginia to pick up more House seats in the midterm elections came in response to a Republican effort to aggressively redraw district lines in Texas. But he said the tit for tat still isn’t good for the country.
“I understand this was all that started after Texas decided to kind of do the same thing. I mean, I get the logic to do the things, but overall, we all lose at this point,” he said, arguing that two wrongs don’t make a right.
“The wrong thing doesn’t make it the right thing, but that’s where we are. And if we continue to just attack the other side, whether it’s a red state or whether it’s a blue state, our democracy is degraded,” he warned.
What a sissy.
I would be pleasantly surprised if New Fetterman’s anti-Dem push lasts until ’28. He is (now) vocally against their platform and is making sense. I don’t believe the DNC will allow that to continue.
Curious, curious.
He will be primaried. Whether that will be successful is an open question.
At this point, I don’t even care. Anything that keeps democrats out of office, I’m in favor of.
This. They are a clear and present danger to the country, Fetterman’s lump notwithstanding.
It’s the Lump talking.
If we could cut the tumor off, I’d vote for it.
California has been gerrymandered for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid our conservative suburbs were cut up and represented by crazy liberals from Oakland and Berkeley. We had the socialist Ron Dellums as our Congressman.
You never had it so good! It’s your own fault if you don’t realize that.
I got kicked out of antifa. Attacking command economies controlled by Top Men was a bridge too far.
Did you call them Top Men? Maybe the problem was assuming gender.
Late stage capitalism!!
Antifa defending actual fascism? You don’t fucking say…
I would’ve thought the testosterone screening would’ve kept you out. Were you doping with estrogen?
All the firsting depleted his T.
Facebook Antifa, right? There’s always Twixter Antifa! Or even Unicorn Riot if you’re really brave.
Unicorn riot?
Tell me more.
I’m thinking of a word…
Competing with China in the global energy transition will require deeper collaboration with allies and partners. No single country can match the scale and speed of China’s deployment alone. But through coordinated investment, shared standards, joint financing mechanisms and technology partnerships, the U.S. and its partners can build a credible and competitive alternative.
Government, business, academia, working in partnership to build a better world. Bound together for strength.
OFFS. They’re not doing it for the benefit of Gaia you fucking morons.
Ur a stupid ficus
These are the subtle things that keep this place fresh
Bwahahahaha – Chelsea fire coach they hired mid-season (and gave a 5 and half year contract). They are of course keeping all of the players that are failing miserably.
It’s really amazing. I’ll take the job on the same terms at 5% of the salary.
The Price of Football had a episode that covered the amount of money teams like Chelsea and Man Utd were paying to people no longer managing the clubs. It was pretty stunning.
At one point Spurs were paying Postecouglu,Frank, Tudor, and Di Zerbi.
I was wondering about that – if the coach’s salary is guaranteed like the players. I kinda assumed it wasn’t. What an amazing amount of stupid money in the business.
EPL must have Gordon Ramsey in charge of accounting, with the way the books are being cooked.
I think it works like the NFL: they get the salary through the original contract or until they take another job, whichever comes first. But I think the first club has to “top up” the salary if the new club isn’t paying the same (which almost certainly happened to Spurs when Ange took the Forest job). Of course, conditions can be written into contracts as well.
Didn’t know that. He did have a kind of deer-in-the-headlights look yesterday, as his team was flaming out for the what was it, sixth game in a row?
So, I think they’re paying Maresca and Roesnior + whomever they appoint for next season. PLUS for financial year 2024-25 they lost about $350m.
Hail, Nanny!
A bill banning anyone born after 2008 from buying tobacco in the UK has completed its progress through parliament in a move that ministers hope will create a “smoke-free generation”.
Under the tobacco and vapes bill anyone born on or after 1 January 2009 will never be able to be legally sold tobacco across the UK, in an effort to save lives and reduce the burden on the NHS.
The bill will become legislation when it receives royal assent next week. Its long journey through both houses of parliament began when it was introduced on 5 November 2024 and ended on Tuesday, when the House of Lords approved amendments made by MPs in House of Commons.
Ministers hope it will end the sale of tobacco products altogether over time and break the cycle of addiction and the disadvantages associated with tobacco.
——-
“Children in the UK will be part of the first smoke-free generation, protected from a lifetime of addiction and harm.
“Prevention is better than cure. This reform will save lives, ease pressure on the NHS, and build a healthier Britain.”
The addiction fairy waved her magic wand, and all was well.
You’re next, alcohol.
I quit smoking almost twenty years ago, and I still occasionally miss them. If this shit keeps up, I may take up the habit again for FYTW reasons.
We need to set up a reservation in the UK to sell cigs and booze.
As natives of the UK many of us have right of return…
“smoke-free generation”
Willing to bet $100 that houkas are exempt.
“This is a decisive turning point for public health. The end of smoking, and the devastating harm it causes, is no longer uncertain – it’s inevitable. And the focus now is on how soon we get there,” said Hazel Cheeseman, the chief executive of Action on Smoking and Health.
“Over the past half-century, smoking has claimed millions of lives across the UK, leaving a legacy of preventable pain and loss. Ending its harm is a lasting gift to generations ahead and families everywhere can now feel secure that their children can grow up free from the harm of tobacco.”
Sarah Sleet, the chief executive of Asthma and Lung UK, said: “This landmark piece of legislation will transform the nation’s health. A smoke-free future means the tobacco industry will no longer be able to wreak havoc on the lungs of the next generation.”
If only someone had told people smoking was bad for them, those predatory thugs at Philip Morris would never have been able to sell their poisons.
Smokers die earlier than their non smoking cohort, the pay more taxes and die earlier. They cost less in healthcare costs while subsidizing the healthcare for the longer lived geriatrics in end of life care.