About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

69 Comments

  1. DEG

    Gotta line the hat with tin foil.

  2. R.J.

    Yes. Let’s do some meth together.

    • Threedoor

      If you insist.

  3. Sean

    💯

    💯

    💯

    🎆

  4. Evan from Evansville

    Thank you, CPRM. Congrats on 100 eps! That’s impressive. (the beeping needs to stop! Ah. I can pause it. Hrm.)

    (Um. Why does his voice sound so accurate? Did you start to AI it? I coulda sworn before you’d taken select bits of real audio. Something cultural, legal needs to happen about DeepFakes, voices and images of people. Needs to occur. Will start with actresses.)

    I think the arch is a silly idea. I suppose the 250th… but. Hrm. $39 trillion. (That brings me up a whole big thingy I don’t want to get into yet.) I do think he sometimes purposefully walks into the ‘easy to hate Trump about’ shit, and the arch is a good example. There is laser pointer distraction technique there, I swear it, and I do enjoy it, sometimes. I’m not sure how much is just accidentally putting the dot in the right spot for folk to further flip. (Both, I think. Some combo.)

    • rhywun

      Yeah, Donald is saltier than I remember. I like it.

      • Evan from Evansville

        I also strongly approve. Still confused, did he actually say he wouldn’t have to worry about the dumb-o-crats trying to shoot him?! That’d be blaring from ‘activists’ rolling ’round the streets constantly. But it sounds so goddamn good! I *want* him to say those things! (Especially the “classy burger remark)

        C’mon, Hat. Let’s meth it up ’til we get to the bottom of this. I’ve got a light bulb we can use.
        *flicks lighter wheel three times, knowing nod*

        (Speaking of: McDs McDouble v Double Cheeseburger. The latter has *two* slices of cheese. The former, only one. Think about it.)

      • DrOtto

        That single slice is why I prefer the McDouble. Two slices is too many.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Woah. Exact same reasoning, here. Two horses in harness, you and I.

        (Used to be on the $1/$2 menu, too.)

      • rhywun

        I have no idea what a “McDouble” is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      • Aloysious

        Rhy: I think it’s the name of a beefy Scots clan from Scottishland.

      • rhywun

        Oh my! 😮

      • Gustave Lytton

        Wait til you find out the Filer o Fish only has a half slice.

      • Threedoor

        It’s double quarter pounder with cheese or GTFO.

        Of course they are almost $9 now which is insane.

    • rhywun

      His enemies are going to hate every single thing he does regardless so he might as well have a little fun with it.

    • CPRM

      Yes, this episode Trump is AI. Other times I did that I put AI in the title. But I was pushing this out the door quick and forget that convention. Most of the 100 eps are real trump audio that I edited, but for this one I wanted to be able to have him say exact things and have more freedom with the script. And I still messed up, the burger joke should have been the Arch Deluxe, that’s the ‘classier’ one that got discontinued; the Big Arch is a current thing that tastes of sadness.

      • Evan from Evansville

        *high five*

        Loved it.

  5. Rat on a train

    Is that SKATS Morse?

    • Threedoor

      He learned that trick from the last guy that got away with it and the guy before him…

    • Fourscore

      Sounds like a Southern congressman…Or even a Jersey type congressman…

    • Fourscore

      I have a coffee can with an inch of steel coins, when it gets too heavy to carry I’ll take it to the bank.

      • R.J.

        Sell ‘em on eBay and get collector’s value. Also you can charge $25 shipping per coin. Very popular tactic there.

      • Fourscore

        Not silver but the new steel. Some copper pennies.

        Kids don’t collect coins anymore

      • rhywun

        an inch of steel coins

        1943 pennies?? 😮

    • Gustave Lytton

      He just requested $40M over 6 months and it’s an audit that tripped him up? Not the request itself?

    • Aloysious

      Professional goldbricker.

  6. UnCivilServant

    I was thinking – How would people react if Microsoft skipped version numbers and released Fallout 6 and Elder Scrolls 7.

    • Evan from Evansville

      The lack of responses speaks volumes.

      I looooove Worms Armageddon. So much fun.

    • CPRM

      What about Fallout 76? They skipped 72 numbers.

    • Rat on a train

      You’re getting Fallout ME and Elder Scrolls Vista.

  7. kinnath

    I get the weird feeling that I’m being set up. A couple of weeks ago, one credit card sends me an email saying they are increasing my credit limit about 25% without any request from me. Today another card ups my limit by 25% as well.

    I’m never going to get close to either of those new limits.

    One card has a zero balance. The other gets paid every month.

    There hasn’t been any jump in my credit score. My situation is basically unchanged for the last couple of years.

    • UnCivilServant

      I never understood Credit Card company rules. A few years back, mine rejected a request to raise my limit, but were more than happy to issue a new card with a lower rate and higher limit.

    • rhywun

      I have two cards and I don’t even know what the limits are. I have not carried a debt in decades. I vaguely remember one getting an increase a few years ago. My credit score is spectacular and I don’t even own a car or a house.

      /chump

    • Ownbestenemy

      Its in hopes you go out and leverage that increase. Knowing you are carrying a low balance, you make no money for them. Enticing you with an increase is a no-cost benefit to them. You don’t use it; okay. You do use it…get that sweet interest off you.

  8. Ownbestenemy

    Too local news

    Kentucky Gym Exposes Female Entitlement Culture With New “Modesty Code”

    Basically its a blanket “stop dressing like a whore for your OF feeds and focus on fitness – both men and women” and there have been complaints.

    Beighle told WXIX that while she’s also a Christian, she doesn’t agree with the standards TAC is imposing.
    “I cannot control anybody else’s temptations. I can’t control what other people think, feel, or where their eyes travel. That is not my responsibility. I can only control myself,” she said.

    Tell you wanna look at some ass while saying you aren’t looking at some ass.

    • rhywun

      It is amazing (to me) that one needs to be told not to make a spectacle of oneself.

      I guess I am just not wired that way.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Meh. I agree with not making a spectacle of myself (with how I look, certainly), but I can kinda see it, especially now, with others. Gyms are one of the few places where humans still gather. Folk always show off, or wanna, and gyms were such a place long before COVID days.

        I at least get it, tho. Other than bars, and I’m not so sure folk just ‘show up’ to chill, without any group or plan, ‘anymore,’ there’s not many places where vague human contact, or even interaction (heavens!), occurs.

        However, these House Rules make sense. Polite, unspoken velvet rope? Uh. If you’re hot, go for it. But, newsflash! Expect attention, most likely from folk The Hottie wouldn’t otherwise choose. Folk’ll only be happy if *they* are the arbiters, they are always trusted, and they get the *exact* amount of attention ‘warranted, and from whom.

        Dear humans: Life is hard. Happiness is not constant. ~ Ev (appearing as a spiritual, cultural figure one unyieldingly trusts)
        (pssst, my ass looks great in this onesie. Let me in.)

      • R C Dean

        Folk always show off, or wanna, and gyms were such a place long before COVID days.

        Not like they do now, I can assure you.

        The gap between what people want to do and what they actually do is what we call “civilization”.

    • CPRM

      Being Zero Hedge I assume the Jews are the cause?

  9. Gustave Lytton

    Like and subscribe! Smash that Diet coke button!

    • dbleagle

      SMASH!

    • Aloysious

      STEVE SMITH SMASH BUTTON! STEVE SMITH SMASH DIET COKE BUTTON, DIET PEPSI BUTTON, DIET RC COLA BUTTON, FRESCA BUTTON IN SPITE OF HIM NOT KNOWING IF DIET OR NOT DIET, SMASH TAB THAT ONLY GRANNIES DRINK BUTTON. HIM WON’T TOUCH SQUIRT. THAT NASTY.

  10. Gustave Lytton

    Wtf? I turned on subtitles. Nothing. Where’s the descriptive audio option?

  11. CPRM

    The Morse Code is the script, or at least part of it. Well, the AI told me it was anyway.

  12. Aloysious

    The presidential fuck-tunnels have been filled with the spawn of Hunter Biden and his many familial conquests.

    Which is more inbred, the Kennedy family, or the Biden family? It’s a question for the philosophers.

  13. Ted S.

    There’s a reason I only hike

    GARDINER, N.Y. — A Massachusetts rock climber suffered serious injuries after falling 30 feet while climbing the Arrow Wall in the Mohonk Preserve, the state Department of Environmental Conservation said Wednesday.

    At 3:50 p.m. Thursday, May 21, Ulster County 911 reported the fall. A ranger was on the property at the time and responded along with the New Paltz Rescue Squad, the Gardiner Fire Department and state police, the state agency said.

    The 53-year-old climber suffered injuries to their spine and pelvis, according to a press release.

    Rescuers determined that a rope rescue would be the safest way to evacuate the climber, citing a 40-degree slope that is 100 feet above a carriage road and continues down rocky steps for an additional 150 feet, the release said.

    • Threedoor

      One night my wife helped a guy that had fallen to Indian beach off the costal trail in Oregon. He and a date decided to make a shortcut to speed up their hike. It’s amazing he survived with only scratches. It’s close to a 40’ drop. She was clinging to the bushes above the cliff for hours before rescue got there.

      Of course the cops claimed that they found him and aided him off the beach.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, Sean, Ted’S., and Sensei!

      • Gender Traitor

        Good morning, U. How are you today?

      • UnCivilServant

        I guess I’m all right. Nothing planned for the day. Perfect plan.

      • Gender Traitor

        The ideal vacation day!

    • Threedoor

      Morning

  14. Sean

    Have you seen the price of Steam Decks lately?

    😱

    I guess the Steam console ain’t gonna happen. Fuck AI.

    • Ted S.

      I’m not a gamer, so no, I haven’t.

    • Sensei

      Morning. Yesterday I learned Sandisk Storage is up 4,200%.

      No bubble.

      • Threedoor

        And here all I want to do is buy some to save photos on.

    • rhywun

      Well, it’s not in stock so there is that.

      Just looked at the Switch 2 and it is still the same price I paid for mine six months ago. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • Sean

      I’d love to get into a shinier, brand new GTI, but the current offering is so flawed (IMO).

    • Threedoor

      The dealership I bought my used pickup from calls me every six months trying to sell me something.

      For my daily driver I usually get 8 years out of it. This thing only gets 7,000 miles a year. It should last 350,000.

  15. Tres Cool

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

  16. Not Adahn

    Did anyone run this through AI to translate the morse code? How does Chinese morse even work?

  17. Threedoor

    I got up super early today and thought I’d cruise around XBox to look for some vintage style games and it won’t let me log on, I have to do an update first. This is going to take several hours and by then the kids will be up. Dang it. No looking for games. Boy knows I have a gaming console but has never seen me play anything. That needs to stay the status quo.