“I love you,” Donald crooned, cradling the cheeseburger in his hands like a small dove.
“He’s talking to his cheeseburger again,” the hair said.
“And?” the hat asked.
“I just worry,” the hair said, his intense blondosity glowing in the dark of the bedroom like a will-o’-the-wisp.
“I didn’t know a toupée could have a vagina,” the hat snickered.
“You know I’m not a toupée,” the hair said, “You raging infected cunt.”
“I’m trying to eat here,” Donald said. “This is a holy act.”
“Holy?” the hair asked.
“It celebrates the birth of St. McDonald, the Scottish priest that first brought salt to The New World,” Donald said reverently.
“That’s not even remotely true or even makes sense,” the hat said.
“Jesus, Donald,” the hair said.
Donald sucked his cheeks hollow as he greedily drank his Diet Coke. “And this is His Blood.”
“Are the fries his asshole?” the hat asked.
“Blasphemer,” Donald muttered.
“It’s stuff like this that makes me worry, Donald,” the hair said. “And, frankly, how much McDonald’s you eat.”
“I want you to eat what you want, Donald,” the hat said. “It’s better to burn out than fade away.”
“He’s 78 years-old,” the hair said, “I think we’re already in the ‘fade’ part. Now we work on keeping him alive.”
“I won’t live without McDonald’s,” Donald said, biting finally into his cheeseburger and sighing.
“You deal with this shit,” the hat said. “I’m going to bed.”
“I’m a namesake of St. McDonald, you know,” Donald said, talking around the second and third and fourth bites.
Such a warm wholesome scene.
*insert Adm Ackbar gif here*
“That’s not even remotely true or even makes sense,” the hat said.
You must be fresh off the boat. Welcome to America.
“It’s better to burn out than fade away.”
Def Leppard – Rock Of Ages
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhSdljm909Y
Yes I know Neil Young is also know for the lyric, but he is a twat.
Yes I know Neil Young is also know for the lyric, but he is a twat.
QFT
SouthernNorthern man don’t need him around anyhow.Twat or Canadian? Sometimes it’s hard to know the difference.
¿Porque no los dos?
Embrace the power of “and”.
That song (and Highlander — where I’m pretty sure The Kurgan is just a fan) are the bane of my wife’s existence. Any lead in similar enough to “I have something to say…” and that’s going to be my response. She’s suffered through that for nigh on 30 years now….
Nope. There is one response to “I’ve got something to say”.
“It celebrates the birth of St. McDonald, the Scottish priest that first brought salt to The New World,” Donald said reverently.
Donald has been talking with ChatGPT.
The soft serve ice cream is his mercy — which is why the machine is always unavailable…
I’m trying to eat here
So say we all every mid-day of the mid-week.
And yet we keep coming back for more.
I knew to finish my lacinto omelette before reading this.
Although today wasn’t that bad in that regard.
Meanwhile, the press meeting with the South African President is lit af.
Although today wasn’t that bad in that regard.
It’s a setup. Beware next Wednesday!
Nothing bad ever happens on national brisket day.
So eating McDonalds makes you younger?
Only if you’re a non-vegetarian Hitler.
How about a quasi-pescatarian Mussolini?
Fucking typos. I know in my heart Donald is 78.
But as the saying goes: Poor New Mexico. So far from heaven, so close to Texas.
“I was very proud to be a Texan and never really thought we’d leave, but the political climate became so conservative it felt oppressive to me,” says Nancy Fuka, a certified quilt judge. Her husband, Kent, a retired venture capitalist, adds, “You couldn’t pay us enough to move back to Texas at this point. The emphasis of fundamental religion just grew and grew.”
“Politically, I wasn’t that aware of how blue New Mexico was until I moved here,” says Donovan Kolbly, a software developer.
“I look at New Mexico, which is a poor, rural state — sorry, I’m gonna get teary,” says his partner, Stephanie Bonzek, a family nurse practitioner, choking up a bit, “but they keep trying to do the right thing!”
In polarized America, people are sorting themselves. Conservatives are fleeing California, for instance, for Idaho and Texas. And some Texas liberals are looking for an exit.
The Land of Enchantment has quietly become a blue refuge in the MAGA red West. New Mexico Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham, a diminutive, firebrand Democrat now in her second and last term, has particularly welcomed refugees from Texas: women seeking abortions, families wanting to protect trans children, doctors seeking a freer medical environment, and disconsolate liberals.
Oppressed and displaced, liberals are fleeing Texas for the safe refuge of New Mexico. It’s a tale of Good versus Evil. Read the whole thing. It will make you a better person.
Oh fuck. Another “I am a gun owner but even I think…” just so story. Who buys this shit? I have never heard a proggie make an earnest argument to convince. Everything they say is just virtue signaling and preaching to the choir.
New Mexico seems almost completely destroyed when I drive through it expect for one or two towns. There are literally billboards begging people to tell their kids to stay and get jobs in NM, because the young ones flee as soon as they have driver’s licenses.
I’m a gun owner, but I think that squad-level automatic weapons should be sold from vending machines in toy stores.
I don’t want a vending machine gun. I want to be able to examine it before putting money down.
LOL!
Her husband, Kent, a retired venture capitalist…
“Our marriage is an equal partnership!”
She will be signing autographs at the Joann’s closing.
But we need to bring back that SALT deduction right?
Oh come on… this isn’t real.
Even wikipedia reveals that one state is losing population and the other is increasing.
Guess which is which?
“a certified quilt judge”
????
…I am a gun owner but even I think….
You want rogue uncertified quilt judges running free?
YES! Absolutely!
The certification comes plus a bag
You want rogue uncertified quilt judges running free?
YES! Absolutely!
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
🤔 I got two jokes for that…
“KILL! MAIM! BURN!”
or
“Might I interest you in our line of fire-retardant quilts?”
There’s certification programs for all sorts of judging. For beer alone there’s the BJCP and the Cicerone certifications. However, I would not claim being a certified beer judge gives me any insight into anything other than beer styles, beer quality, and how well a beer stayed in style guidelines.
Sure, and there is nothing wrong with a hobby having a certification for judges. Claiming it as a mark of status is worthy of great mockery.
I am sure the fabulist that wrote that is fully aware that any Texan reading that will breath a sigh of releif. Is this some kind of false flag? An attempt to get Texans to let down their guard?
I am not sure what to make of it.
Texans: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE_sYNVgS-M
a certified quilt judge
How I knew it was NPR without hovering on the link.
Well, that and the completely fabricated story playing to all of the left’s preconceptions and world view.
doctors seeking a freer medical environment
When I think medical freedom, I think blue states. Yup.
Oh, I forgot, abortion is the only real ‘medical’ procedure that matters.
Requiring doctors to perform abortions and trans treatments on children makes them free!
I gotta say, unmarried impoverished twenty-somethings who popped out their first kid at fifteen, are IMO exactly the kind of people who should be getting abortions…
because Texas did outlaw abortion
Is this true? I was operating under the impression that Texas has a ‘heartbeat’ law which effectively allows abortion before… 6 weeks(?). Did it get stricter to an outright ban?
Putrid : progressives never ever argue in good faith about anything. Always assume they are lying no matter what they say. There is a 100% chance it is an effort to deceive in some way or another.
She’s a busy woman with a lot on her plate. She doesn’t have time to get an abortion when TX thinks it’s convenient. She’ll get around to it. Quit bugging her.
I think you can get a clue as to the level of intellect when somebody named “America” omits her last name so nobody will figure out it’s her.
“women seeking abortions, families wanting to protect trans children, doctors seeking a freer medical environment, and disconsolate liberals.”
I’m not sure the first three groups represents a large number of people.
“The emphasis of fundamental religion just grew and grew.“
Horseshit.
“I wasn’t that aware of how blue New Mexico was”
Then you are a moron.
“a poor, rural state . . . but they keep trying to do the right thing!”
Then maybe the how blue/right thing they keep doing has some connection to why the state is so fucking poor?
I missed the morning thread…can I get my employer to tip me?
Yes, but only in certain Nevada counties
[ Tips robc like a cow ]
STEVE SMITH PROMINENT FOREST LAWYER. HIM HELP robc GET TIP.
Wait… is he In the table?
NO BARRIER STOP STEVE SMITH!
STEVE SMITH TOLD TO MEET WITH HR DUE TO COWORKERS’ COMPLAINTS. HIM ADDRESS ALL CONCERNS LIKE PROFESSIONAL RAPESQUATCH.
STEVE SMITH USE BARRIER METHOD, NOT GET YOU PREGGO!
STEVE SMITH AS EMPLOYER NEVER TIP ANY EMPLOYEE.
THEY ALWAYS GET THE SHAFT, GOOD AND HARD.
“Just the tip” would really change employee reviews.
Um….
New Mexico is also known as one of the most queer-friendly places in the country.
“New Mexico is unique,” says Rachelle Vega. The nurse practitioner moved from Austin to Santa Fe four years ago, in part, she says, to live in a more welcoming environment for her two adult trans children. “There’s this sense of live and let live that is pervasive.”
Austin is overrun with Nazis.
She has two adult trans children that live with her? Shocking.
What are the odds?
She worked hard to break those brains.
Two out of two? Must be genetics!
Well, considering that “queer” means “leftist”, yes… I can believe this.
Yeah, living in Santa Fe gives you real insight into New Mexico generally.
Speaking of progressives…
If you have the stomach and a few minutes – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgU_BEk3jQc
It looks remarkably like how the spaniards described pre-Columbian central and South America. I strongly suspect the mound builders/Mississippians in North America were very much the same.
Sadly our species has always been like that and it is not something specific to any cultures. Given population, resources and level of technology we have all done it.
I don’t know if it was here or somewhere else, but I saw someone mention that on the first day of their law school class the professor asked “What is income?”
They were still discussing it on the last day of class.
The income tax is really a stupid fucking idea.
law school TAX class. Key word got left out.
“The income tax is really a stupid fucking idea”
Remember that guy in the lunchroom in the 5th grade? The one that would bloody your nose if you didnt give up your lunch money?
It is not an idea. It is a fuck you I am taking what you have.
In the end we are just a big troop of monkeys.
See my YouTube link above
Same guy that would live in the manor house and collect half the crops from the medieval seeds.
Same guy that would live in the manor house and collect half the crops from the medieval serfs.
Are you talking about the Reeve or the Steward?
“gross income means all income from whatever source derived”
Net income is what you have after fishing for deductions.
Gross income means it comes from 144 sources.
Trump is giving the press what for over the South African situation. What a bunch of pieces of cheese they are. They are lucky it is Trump and not me. The SA president, who is there meeting with Trump should be thankful also.
I love the MSM more plainly than ever revealing themselves for the POS racists they have always been. I think people are noticing.
I enjoyed when Trump was expounding on what an idiot that one reporter was.
Only one of the reporters is an idiot?
“What is income?”
That’s easy. It’s whatever you have that I want.
“The National Association of Certified Quilt Judges was created in October of 2015 and represents a group of quilt judges who were certified by the former National Quilting Association. They hail from California to Rhode Island, from Texas to Minnesota, and all places in between. When the NQA ceased to exist, succumbing to the economic realities of the 21st century quilt world, the certified judges felt strongly that they did not want to allow professional quilt judging to disappear with it.
Certified judges believe in fairness, objectivity, a positive approach, and a broad and very deep knowledge of quilting techniques, color, design, and history. These qualities allow all quiltmakers to receive a consistent, meaningful critique as well as recognition of skill and achievement for the ribbon winners. Likewise, currently certified judges wish to continue to offer the opportunity for certification to anyone who satisfies the same requirements they themselves met….
NACQJ is incorporated as a 501(c)3 non-profit entity.”
https://www.nacqj.com/
“This is super-serious, you guys”
PEOPLE WILL DIE!
“How Dare our Cabal lose influence just because the organization went bankrupt! We will rule Quilting with an Iron Fist!”
How long until this one goes tits up (particularly with USAID drying up)?
Who will judge the quilt bags without them?
She is a certified quilt judge is relevant to the steaming pile argument….how? I think ‘ certified quilt judge’ is supposed to make us think ‘ certified real flyover country person’. Or something.
*Sigh* I am a gun owner….
This shit is so tiresome.
“You know I’m not a toupée,” the hair said, “You raging infected cunt.”
That’s a touchy subject, apparently.
I’ve been sick. Has this made the rounds?
Bakery prevails in free-speech dispute with N.H. town over pastry mural
https://www.bostonglobe.com/2025/05/20/metro/conway-nh-leavitts-country-bakery-prevails/
I saw a blurb yesterday(?) and the IJ e-mail just hit my inbox.
Score one for the good guys.
Although, to the residents of Conway, NH: I’m sorry your elected officials are morons and wasted your tax dollars taking this to court.
This week, IJ scored a, ahem, sweet victory for commercial speech rights on behalf of a beloved bakery in Conway, New Hampshire.
*narrows glaze*
I’ve seen some mention of it in NH news but didn’t really pay attention.
Trump is going to sing an EO to bring back the McDLT. In a styrofoam tray.
The last time I had a McRib I spit out the first bite and gave the rest to my dog. He sniffed it then looked up at me with a “What the fuck am I supposed to do with that shit?” look on his face.
McRib : Not food for civilized creatures.
I worked at McDonalds when I was 14, and I never ate there again. I knew too much. Then I realized that all fast food restaurants and a heck of a lot of regular restaurants have the same business model and all the same shit goes on, so I got very selective about where I’ll eat.
You could toss some pork on the smoker for a while, mix up the meat with a mid-range bottled BBQ sauce, slap it on an average-quality onion bun, and you’d have a product 10 times better than the McRib. Make your own sauce and your own buns, and you’re in a completely different league.
NO SPOILERS!
Honda Owners haz a sad.
Smart move!
TOKYO (AP) — Japan’s agriculture minister was forced to resign Wednesday because of political fallout over his recent comments that he “never had to buy rice” because he got it from supporters as a gift.
https://apnews.com/article/japan-rice-a01060f60874ec7fa8a24edf7917d779
🤦♂️ 🙇♂️
Still can get 日本製 rice on the shelf here!
I find that “Person bowing” emoji funny, but rarely have cause to use it.
🙇♂️🙇♂️🙇♂️
I see that IPSC has gone antiracist with their targets. The targets you’re supposed to shoot are white. In USPSA, you’re NOT supposed to shoot the white guys, just the brown ones.
Now I’m confused.
I’m going to have to shoot all of the targets, just to be sure.
Let the certificated judges sort them out.
*flexes*
*pulls out transparent cards with 9mm circles drawn on them*
I’ve been shooting quite a bit of PCSL lately. In PCSL, the handgun targets are brown, the rifle targets are white, hard cover is black, and no-shoots are bright red with a big black ‘X’ on them.
It was legitimately difficult to shoot the white targets for the first couple of matches…
They’re using red no shoots, and have little rain hats on everything.
Tom Castro can be more than a bit of a man-baby, but the manchild can split.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uBOO6UiNuA
Apparently the orange are for the mini-rifle targets.
Today I learned that target colors have always been optional in IPSC, as long as they remain consistent through the match. You could do white shoot targets, orange no-shoots, and green hard cover (if you wanted your match staff to hate you.)
And once again – why do US majors suck so much ass compared to European majors?
These stages don’t seem to be anything special.
And requiring half the match be stages of 12 rounds or less is dumb.
Fuck that noise, short stages are the best. If I were USPSA dictator for life, my first proclamation would be to enforce the 3-2-1 short-medium-long rule for Level 1 matches.
I have a personal fondness for 7 round stages of the form activator – Max trap – two other targets. And a 12 -15 round stage after a string of 32 round brain-breakers makes me weep with relief.
But big matches should have big stages that can’t be done at the local club level.
Get some Army surplus Ivan targets. Shooting Russians is approved by everyone.
No.
My dad’s hunting club used to have a St. Patrick’s Day shooting contest that had leprechauns on the targets. The targets got banned by the rifle range.
Re South Africa: When ending Apartheid was a thing over half of the black population was solidly against it and warned there would be a bloodbath, extreme impoverishment and savagery. IOW what we are seeing today.
The instant I heard Trump was thinking of giving white South Africans sanctuary I knew the open borders proggies here would lose their shit.
I have not been disappointed.
Basic pattern recognition – Decolonized African states given majority rule deteriorate remarkably quickly into … lamentable conditions.
Those who do not wish to lament their condition oppose, get overruled, conditions deteriorate quickly.
In USPSA, you’re NOT supposed to shoot the white guys, just the brown ones.
What about the Chinamen?
Around here, the Chinamen (and Filipinos and Koreans and Vietnamese) are doing a lot of the shooting.
At nats there’s always a full squad of fancy-Asians sponsored by Limcat
https://www.limcat.com/
Is there a rooftop category?
NA, have you ever seen the movie Triple Tap?
It’s pretty much a Hong Kong gun-fu flick for the practical shooting set. Their depictions of IPSC matches are like something out of my most deviant fantasies:
– Super-elaborate moving target systems that seemingly never fail.
– The 180º rule does not exist.
– Hot chicks on Segways do all the stage resets.
You do kind of need a bigger budget for a setup like that (and 360° berms)
I have not seen that movie.
GPGC has the best mechanical movers I’ve worked with, though I managed to cut the living bejeezus out of myself resetting one of the horizontal rail ones they have.
In 2019 they gave the crew at the tactical bay at Frostproof a golf cart to go score the 50 yard target.
Whoever is doing the activators and movers at GPRC has got to be some kind of insane genius. Dude should be working on manned spaceflight or artificial livers or something.
I’ve seen golf carts, mountain bikes, and go-carts used to reset distant targets in 3-gun. It’s like MGM Flash Targets never existed…
Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred Nomenclature…
Asiatic?
oriental?
slant?
Han de Man?
Trump just beat up the President of South Africa in the Oval Office. Brought a tv in to watch a video about whites being murdered.
https://x.com/CollinRugg/status/1925233844804096361
My comment from another site on the topic
“It’s your fucking country. You tell me.”
It’s the new hand tattoo!
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2025/05/21/trump-south-africa-white-afrikaners-violence/
When Trump says the video “represents more than 1,000 grave sites”, he is not saying that it shows the actual graves, you dishonest cunt. He accurately described what the video and the protest were about.
LSM 🤡🤡
There is no violence
The “graves” are protests against violence
But there is no violence
Even if there was, it would be a good thing.
Mostly peaceful protests
The WaPo. There is a trustworthy source.
How about we dig it up and see. Today, not next week after the bodies have been moved.
Like a residential school in Kamloops?
Look, Teds’, you just have to take our word for it that there are piles of native child skeletons there and there’s no chance it’s a bunch of rocks or something.
Why do you want to disturb their sacred remains?
Also, give us money.
I’m sure similar language will be used the next time there’s a die in at a college campus or outside a rally.
“One in ten Afrikaaners have not, in fact, been murdered.”
Oh. Talking to plumbers and distracted. I didnt catch that. RC is right. Trump did not claim they were graves. They represent graves.
TV is on too. Heh. I see the Dems are getting pounded relentlessly about Biden.
Lets cut the bullshit. What happened is people who were not elected, were unknown and unaccountable usurped the power of the presidency for years and covered it up. This was done by the same party that openly despises the American people and it’s founding principles. At the very least they deserve life in prison. This cannot be allowed to stand.
I dont see how the party can survive this.
They brazenly stole the 2020 election and some of them even openly bragged about it. I think they will survive this just fine.
Ask yourself if even one of your Dem acquaintances is even bothered by this issue.Asshole d.a.Larry Krasner just won renomination (and thus election) by 64 percent in crime ridden, corrupt Philly. Dem voters can swallow anything