cartoon medley #3
About The Author
Derpetologist
The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp,
Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy
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“I see we went to the same college”
I wish they all wore the clown shoes in public. Be easier to spot.
Music for Derpy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_R9-84SmsRw
https://tubitv.com/movies/100045146/dead-calm
In honor of Sam Neill
And for anyone who hasn’t seen it, Eyes Without a Face
https://tubitv.com/movies/100046737/eyes-without-a-face
I’m all out of hope …
I’m so lost without you
I hear that like ten times a day. From people I just met.
Thank you Ted.S. As much as I dislike that song, Billy Idol is so much worse
Than Air Supply?!
I can’t even.
Yes, Mr. wun.
There is a sliding scale of awful, depending upon what I am being forced to listen to against my will.
For example, I’d listen to Billy Idol sing White Wedding for the ten millionth time before I’d listen to any song Peter Cetera is ‘singing’ on.
I get that but FFS… my mom was into Air Supply.
At least she wasn’t into Tom Jones. If she had been, her underwear might have made it onstage.
I’m not casting shade, there were bands I would have thrown my underpants at.
Inspired William Michael Albert Broad to pen this song.
It’s a good tune. I love that Idol is basically a punk crooner.
There it is.
Interesting mix. Clown’s the best. Well. Of the jokes. “But they’re all jokes,” you may reply. The soldiers/ ballerinas is a bio-social observation between sexes, the band looks pretty cool, and I’m gonna enjoy not knowing if that really is a fact, or what gimmick somehow makes it one.
But El-Forko abides. *waves prongs*
The eel is real:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFiRnChLSUM
Very clever and good thinking on whoever put that together. *raises glass*
Ripped from the pages of the New Yorker.
There was a gal in my squad who was a professionally trained ballerina.
She realized she wasent top crust and there was no money in it at her level so she joined the army.
To be a loser army ho.
I appreciate the powers that be publishing my work. It gives me something to look forward to on Mondays.
It turns out I’m too old (41) and short (5’4) to be a sperm donor. Looks like I’ll have to get in the gene pool the old-fashioned way. I saw a video about a sperm donor with 114 kids. He’s getting sued by 8 women for child support. The guy is a math professor with an IQ of at least 130, so I salute his efforts at eugenics.
It’s just as well. I wouldn’t want my kids to be raised by a diehard feminist, which seems to be the case for most women who use donated sperm.
I was thinking of going to one of the 3 churches within a 5-minute walk of my apartment on Sunday. See and be seen. Singing and praying is not my thing, but maybe I can stand it for a little while. I have one prospect from online dating right now. That’s where I’ve had the most success.
3 Tennessee men father 78 children with 46 women:
https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-2159476/Tennessees-deadbeat-dads-The-men-81-children-46-different-women–theyre-paying-child-support-them.html
Idiocracy is here.
Do they actually have a height requirement to be a sperm donor?
Women really have been given *way* too much power and agency.
Yeah I suspect he can “give” but there won’t be any “takers”.
Elon Musk is a piker.
Genghis Khan laughs at them all.
Curious to know more about the online dating game. (Again. Sit-com, are we.) I’ve heard Hinge is best for folk actually trying. Not sure what’s actually true, but curious to your experience. Now I have a job with prospects of my own place in ~6mo, I’m gonna have to (and that doesn’t really bother me). Also with money to soon come in, I’ll feel at least a bit better going out to just meet *people.* Very confusing, these times.
And shit, I’ve got a “head shot” appt next Wed with work to get a professional pic of me. Fuck. Yikes.
I’m 5’6″ and 39. I wonder what they’d think of me. Wonder what they’d think of me. I’m glad I never wanted to have kids, but I love being near my nephews, particularly the soon-6yo. So far, the 25% DNA I share w him is bursting out.
Thoughts on different apps? Which do you use?
I would avoid dating sites like the plague personally. The most mediocre of mediocre women can get hundreds of desperate dudes flooding them with messages in a day. I’ve seen it. It’s real tough to make it through the noise even if it doesn’t grossly inflate their egos and/or make them equally as jaded as the men sending the messages.
I know people who use Hinge. But it’s tough sledding even for decent looking guys (not making a statement on you).
I used OKCupid and Plenty of Fish. I was on Match.com but got kicked off for unknown reasons.
I started online dating in 2010. I am now qualified to be a tour guide in hell.
By the numbers: dated over 50 women (usually met them once and never heard from them again), 4 became my gal pals. I’ve probably messaged a few thousand women online.
I must have some game if I smooth talked 50+ women into meeting me in person. Jokes are my angle.
Tindr worked great in Singapore. Got fairly serious with two interesting gals that way. I’m also happy to just find someone interesting to talk to. A legit gal pal would be just fine. (They usually have friends.) Weird to navigate. It *is* true, that as money starts coming in, it’ll be easier to make myself go out. Unless I’ve got “Evan with the Peru Tribune” in my holster, I’m terrible at initiating conversation with strangers.
Living with my parents is also disheartening, deflating. Again, however, Big Things started today.
*Sean’s upward thumbs*
I tried EHarmony back in 05.
About 10:1 women to men.
Went on two dates through the site. Chatted with another two women.
It was different. The odds were good but the goods were odd.
EHarmony seemed more like a scam back in the day. I created account and most of what I was seeing looked obviously fake. That was probably a bigger issue in the early days of online dating. Had to make people feel like there were more women than there were to get the men to sign up and often pay a subscription fee.
Like Ashley Madison and most of its female accounts being bots.
I’m guessing in a lot of areas in the country there just weren’t enough people in an area so you get the fake profiles for some and maybe a real person for others.
We’ll see. First real spark of confidence in three years. Need time to develop and fan, but it’s a much better feeling. Schedule alone is big.
We shall see. *Shrug* (Good shrug.)
I think EHarmony simply had more women than men. It was newish and it got the women that were late 20s early 30s feeling like old maids. While men wernt there yet.
Not watching it, and don’t care about the Home Run Derby, at all, but I like Schwarber. And Harper’s a very good ballplayer. Plays hard. Fun fact: Schwarber went to IU. And it’s on Netflix, which I’m very opposed to, but have. But I’ll likely watch those two. Conveniently for me, they’re the last two to go in the first round! (Their home ballpark.) That makes that a lot easier.
I really need to find better shit to watch on youtube. ‘Watch.’ Fun, interesting, but not ‘pay-attention’ shit. Background interesting. I tend to go for history stuff I mostly already know, but not quite. The suggestions are getting repetitive. One of them, slightly awkwardly, now has its own row.. Women’s steeplechase is a damn fine event. Damn fine.
“South Carolina’s Governor Appoints Lindsey Graham’s Sister To Fill His Senate Seat”
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/graham-dead-race-both-temporary-and-permanent-senate-successors
Who wants to take the early Drake suicide watch?
Plot twist – it’s Lindsey in a wig. He murdered his sister, assumed her identity, and has resumed exercising his power now free to live according to his preferences.
Logically you appoint his primary challenger.
bonus cartoon, featuring Baron Samedi
https://platedlizard.blogspot.com/2026/06/long-story-short.html
TV pitch – UCS, Evan, and I riding the rails of Mauritania:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAeZ-HSFdTw
suggested music: Holiday Road
The only way that’d work is if we smuggled UCS, and that’d only happen if that train was the *only* way to get him to some special spot on some quest. Like it was the antipode end of a sandwich he made with some other random spot he first started the project in. Possibly …. in Kiribati. Oooh. He has a glove on each antipode so he can crush the world. (He can explain it better than I can.)
(Not the worst pitch.)
AI does not understand dialogue. I thought of a humorous mashup today:
“I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.”
“It’s not a motorcycle, baby, it’s a chopper.”
Despite the myriad ways you could take this, AI stepped on a facerake every time.
That’s pretty funny.
https://youtu.be/IkYA3tM-IdE
Nepotism and hereditary politicians at it finest. Fuck Graham and his cunte sister.
The sister has an even bigger war boner than Graham.
BUCKLE UP!