cartoon medley #12
About The Author
Derpetologist
The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp,
Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy
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Know it all one is funny.
Guy I knew was an unemployed pothead who claimed to be a polymath on his blog.
He assumed room temperature and his family all clapped like seals because he ended it.
Canadian import so I guess they thought suicide was a positive.
Who determines the criteria to declare somebody a polymath?
No one, but in general people are going to laugh when a bum who has done nothing starts calling themselves one. He could be brilliant. Probably isn’t though.
I’m stuck in LAS so I don’t have access, but the requirements are in the Master’s rules DMG.
I thought polymath was defined in the 2nd edition Psionics Handbook.
The polymath of course!
I like the alien priest.
1. Don’t trust righties.
2. Solid, best here by far.
3. I don’t want to have sex with this. Kinda a more fucked up, roundabout-heavy, medical traffic system.
4. I very much could have sex with this. Flame shoulda been more, she does makeup like that for Halloween. *deepest swoon*
5. Futuristic alien chaplain. Hmm. Need more context to consider.
It feels like something out of the Hyperion Cantos.
When you make first contact and learn that they have their own crucified messiah story.
So, he is gonna have a cross living in him?
I don’t trust right handed people either.
And yet, it is left handed people who are sinister…
I’m ambidextrous. Born that way (left handed) but was then rehabilitated (broke my left arm twice)
Why do you hate me?
/using mouse left handed
#2: Is he mathsplaining?!
That would be better than mathterbating.
There’s a brouhaha online over whether you should bring an (iced) coffee to a job interview. The divide is obvious – it doesn’t fucking matter versus professionalism.
I wouldn’t do it because I’m not a tard and I know the game and that the assholes I’m talking to are looking to dissect and pick apart the dumbest shit about me. That while they have the power, they’re basically mouth breathers who play pretend work all day and that they have an idea of what ‘professionalism’ is and it has little to do with actual ability to perform.
I hate the word professional itself. It’s some word corporations started throwing around to make ever increasingly stupid demands of employees with regards to things that don’t have anything to do with getting shit done. But let’s be blunt, when it comes to the world of the corporate drone it’s not really about productivity or skill really.
So much of our daily interactions with one another are make believe pretend bullshit and I don’t think many people really grasp that fully. Sure they recognize that there’s different behaviors for different settings, but it goes beyond that. So much of it is just fake. So many people get paid to basically do nothing.
“So many people get paid to basically do nothing.” This is why I didn’t like my 8 years in financial services. I basically got paid to help people navigate the barriers my company was putting up. It was very unfulfilling but paid well. I can actually see the difference I make as a mechanic. Car doesn’t start when I get there, but does when I leave.
I flip bits for a living but at the end of the day it either pays out to customers or doesn’t if they don’t deserve it. And we make a profit. Everyone wins so it is a “difference” of a sort.
It’s just more entitled Gen Z or Alpha or wherever the hell we are now.
Pro tip, kids: Don’t do it. I don’t know why this is even a thing that needs a “conversation”.
“Mind if I smoke?”
*flips over table* That’s it! Next time, I’m just gonna strut in there and piss in the INTERVIEWER’S cup! See if they like them apples! My OWN juice! That’ll learn ’em.
*pointing two fingers to my blazing eyes* I’m the interviewer, now.
I suppose we can skip the background check, the police will escort you out. Do not contact us again.
I think it would show initiative. That you’re a go-getter.
Nah, Bro’s got it right. Shows I can take care of everything. I both show, and their drink grows. Upward. All strong, powerful things I demonstrate.
Big ideas, I have.
You know, you are supposed to do that at the drug test, but if you are doing it now, it seems you failed that part too.
Nah, I’ll scout it out first. Get the recon, then I’ll target the perimeter. I may have a few focal points. We’ll see.
I wanna do this right.
I can’t imagine walking into an interview with anything in my hand but a briefcase. And that went out of style decades ago.
For fuck’s sake. Put on your best show for the first 15 minutes, then play it by ear.
I was just watching some old TV last night and was mourning the loss of “How do you do?” and most other basic manners.
I still have a Halliburton aluminum slim briefcase.
I always brought a pad of paper and pen, and if I thought of anything to ask latter in the interview I took note of it. Always seemed appreciated.
That’s hawt Sean.
See our disagreement on AR680-1
670. Damn giant thumbs.
Derpy, have you tried to create a toon in the style of Larson, Watterson, Breathed, Schulz, or anyone like that?
If you have, did you like it?
Oh yeah, my fave is #2.
No, but I’ve done some Family Circus parodies. Lately I’ve been experimenting with this guy’s style:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giuseppe_Arcimboldo
https://platedlizard.blogspot.com/2026/09/arcimboldo-tributes.html
Those are interesting
No noodz?
I kid. Certainly a different take.
Yeah, I had no idea of that guy. Fascinating stuff from so long ago.
The butterfly one Is good and creepy.
Why send warm bodies across the border when you can plot an invasion from afar and get Republicans on board with it somehow?
I saw some congress critter posting clips online of an interview he did with some Pajeet doctor from Miami who advertised this sort of service for foreign nationals. Said he’s delivered thousands of anchor babies on his website.
He took the fifth. His business or website was called “Have My Baby in Miami.” He organizes the travel to and from the states along with any medical care and housing while here.
I’m getting to the point where I don’t even really care about “skilled” immigrants. There’s a point where you have to ask if this person has any fucking loyalty whatsoever to your country or principles of any kind.
And when I see all these American tech companies ending up with Indian CEO’s and they start hiring a bunch of H-1B’s from India you have to ask if it’s not a fucking suicidal letting them in.
The left will just natter on about how all the innovators throughout American history were immigrants and you’re a fascist for noting what’s going on now under completely different circumstances. Shut up racists and we’ll pay you to sit around playing Xbox all day while the smart people get stuff done.
Treason.
It’s possible to be knowledgeable about many topics. That’s how people win Jeopardy! and suchlike.
But there are very few true polymaths. That is the realm of Da Vinci, Newton, Franklin, etc.
Where are the modern polymaths? Current power structures seem to aggressively filter them out.
I like the way Schopenhauer explains it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci7VK75sMsY
gist: if you show your intelligence, people will think you think they are stupid, and so they will hate you.
So kind of like what you said.
Also, when everyone has the internet in their pocket, there is less utility and prestige in being knowledgeable.
When I was little, ca. late 70s, I was shuffled through all kinds of tests and programs and stuff because I was smarter than the average bear. There was just lots and lots of attention being paid to nurturing that in kids. And I was just a lower middle-class kid growing up in “urban” schools.
I wonder if that still happens?
They did it in the 80s here in Idaho.
Called it the Nova program.
My sister did a couple years of it but by the time I was her age and tested they had ended it. Likely because it was discriminatory. About the same time they mostly stopped failing kids and having them repeat grades.
I was in the “gifted” program, because I’m smart but I don’t think it made much of a difference overall.
I’m convinced my IQ was higher when I was little and slowly declined over time. I never became a genius or anything. It probably takes way more dedication than I was ever interested in putting into, well, anything.
The weekend morning links seem assembled by a polymath.
Chemist, audiophile, wine expert, chef…
You may be on to something.
Holy fuck the insane comments on the cable cut that caused the frequency outage is insane.
We are a broken country magnified by the internet.
I heard all 3 NYC airports were kaputt but was out most of the afternoon and mostly crickets in the MSM. What’s going on?
Ill have to look up logs tomorrow, but GT posted the info.
An Amtrak crew causes flights in the Northeast (where Amtrak has its strongest concentration) to be postponed. Hmmmm…..🤔️
Guess all those wires are bundled…? Or located near each other? Cut the red wire, knock out train service – cut the blue wire, knock out the internet.
Well, they bundled and saved, so it was worth it.
We diversify services usually on T1 or T3 backbones.
My favorite response:
Sensurround
@ShamashAran
·
6h
If you are ever lost, keep a length of fiber optic cable with you, and bury it.
You can get help back to civilization when the backhoe operator arrives.
Ha. Actually funny
a song about the importance of a cable:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICDRBVaH6Rc
My neighbor (worked for the city road crew and knew better) called locate and had the lines marked but trenched the phone cable up anyway. Then a year later didn’t call locate and ran an auger through it putting in a fence.
This is why I no longer have a land line.
The pilot announced that if we can’t get off the ground in 25 minutes we’ll need to delay for a new crew.
Fuck.
Stuck in LAS?
Yup. Been here since 06:40.
zOMG that sucks.
Damn. Most of my contacts there have died or retired.
Aaaand, deplaning!
It was the train people cutting coms cables. Per the news.
This is because Trump gutted the Amtrack budget!
I feel ya, man. Twenty odd years ago I got stuck at DFW for a day because the TWU decided to go on strike that day. Ended up missing my grandfather’s funeral by an hour.
Speaking of interviews going well, I ‘got’ the job Sept. 3. Drug test the 8th, got results the 19th, today work says they need “at least 3 business days” to process, so I’m guessing Mon. Sept. 28th will actually be my starting date, but TBD.
Fired Aug. 3, so that’s kinda interesting. More so, and I only ‘thought’ about it a min ago: Tomorrow is the 7th Anniversary of The Incident. Kinda an odd emotional reality slap just hit me, with that. Quite literary that, being the first day of Fall. (Damn. Timely timing is well timed.) Tomorrow may bring that up, especially as if she doesn’t do it first, I’m gonna message Kylie something sweet and thankful. Not sure where she is. Last I heard in S. Africa but trying to go back to Thailand, but realizing Korea’s where more money’s at. *shrug* True Saint, during that time, was she.
Ha! Work did say they’ll send the dress code. She remained silent on other perhaps helpful literature they may also have.
*petulant shrug* Yeah, you see me Toyna, CEI-Atlanta-CON. Maybe I will need that Hawaiian shirt.
I imagine “dress code” will be business casual. These days that just means slacks and a polo shirt or similar.
I remember at the beginning of my career ca. 2000 it was long-sleeved shirt and tie. I don’t miss those days at all – I hate ties.
I think that dudes mostly hate ties because they mostly don’t have shirts that fit correctly.
Eh, I’m just joking about that. I’m quite certain I have more than I already need. Going into new work is just goofy and was seeing if they’d have anything I can read, etc. *shrug* I like that this is now my SECOND office to move into. The office is quite small. Well, that one part is. Like, ‘I’m glad I’m small’ small.
It’s goofy, but I feel much better now. Still felt easier in Korea, where everything being nutty was to be expected.
(Narrator: Evan’s just nutty.)
I mostly hate ties because they seem to be a totally useless, non-functional piece of accoutrements.
Watching the MNF – there was a fumble and a scrum – all the officials dive in head first pushing and pulling to get to the bottom of the pile and see what’s going on. Except the female ref, she’s just sort of leaning over the pile timidly tapping guys on the shoulder – “Please sir, can you please move from the pile?”. I found it to be funny imagery, maybe cartoon worthy.
useless, non-functional piece of accoutrements
Also:
– suit jackets
– collars
– cuffs
– lapels
– etc.
We can just all wear Mao suits, I suppose.
TBF, I don’t wear them a lot, but I don’t get the tie hate.
Yeah, there is that. Nothing “off the rack” fits my fat neck.
And TBF I like the look. I bought shirts that actually fit in advance of trying to get a job after a long spell laid off. That was in January 2020. I wore one to one interview before the world turned upside down.
Many of those have some function that may no longer be manifest – cuffs make it easy to put shirt on and still seal after its on. Suit jacket, easily removable to adjust thermal balance. Collars have a similar argument to cuffs. Of course they got ornamental beyond any function as one would expect; I just don’t know of any functional value to a tie?
Of course my wardrobe consists of jeans, polos, and underwear from costco, occasional tshirts that have turned into essentially disposable DIY/woodworking clothes so I won’t claim to have any appreciation or understanding for clothes or fashion.
Nothing “off the rack” fits my fat neck.
100%
Having some shirts made-to-measure was a revelation. I’ll happily wear a tie all day with those.
(or would – downside of dropping ~ 30 lbs. is that the whole wardrobe is useless. High-class problem).
I don’t have that “problem”.
Ties, suit coats, et al have a very important function: they show you are making money to the opposite sex. This will get you laid.
As Mojeaux would say, suits are lingerie for men.
I like business casual. I look good in it. Mentioned before, but it also inherently, inwardly, *feels* better. The shoes, as well. A trivial cultural reality with me, but it’s cute, in the ‘fun, mostly meaningless cultural traditions of dress’ cute.
Meijer didn’t have much of a dress code, but there was a name tag, and Walmart just had ‘No jeans’ but I had a blue vest to wear. (The pockets on those? Oddly useful.) I think that best explains my finding dress codes cute. Kinda a big rung up the ladder of what I’ve been doing.
I did a very good job getting shoes, and I’ll say my ‘nice’ shoes I wore at escrow were very childishly fun. I got a Take (myself) to Work Day! Felt funny getting groceries afterwards. ‘Of course she was staring at me. She liked what she saw.’
Ha! News ya can use, folks.
As Mojeaux would say, suits are lingerie for men.
She is wise.
Worst part of the weight loss was my two, good made-to-measure Samuelsohn suits are a loss – one of which is quite new and only wore a couple of times, the other was my wedding suit.
I haven’t quite been able to pull the trigger and sell them yet (though I did get a Brioni and 2 Zegna jackets in my new size from them).
Zwak bundles and saves again, with a pair of internet victories here and above.
As Mojeaux would say, suits are lingerie for men.
Sure that’s because of what they have become to represent. But that’s pretty subjective and only downstream of who has been wearing them historically; anything can assume that function. I just don’t know the underlying function that allowed the to take that signalling function on. And since I don’t like them, don’t think they’re functional, and don’t care to signal anything to females at this point beyond what my rugged good looks and rockin’ body do, I’ll pass.
I do recall getting tailored for a wedding not too long ago… that was something else. Clothes that fit properly were a novelty for me.
Hasan Piker should release a clothing line and get rich(er).
Don’t forget your smoldering intensity, Putrid. Chicks dig that.
Guy at AIT tied my tie for me.
22 years later it’s still tied.
I hate ties.
They are useless and ugly.
Pretentious. Like a suit they are a part of it.
I got a fairly ridiculous, but not in a ‘can’t wear’ fashion, jacket hand-sown in Vietnam. Got to pick all the fabric and everything, three fittings that day and finished. It still fits. I am upset its matching handkerchief is AWOL, but so it goes. I think $100 or something. I love it.
I generally only wear that on special occasions. I may have to wear it tomorrow if it somehow comes up. *thinks of ways he could make it come up*
Rolling the dice thinking that MA judiciary won’t hold him accountable or do you think they dug up something on the holdout?
https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-16149019/Lindsay-Clancy-lawyer-phone-metadata-holdout-juror.html
That seems as unethical as you can get. I know a defense lawyer is supposed to do anything and everything, but that is beyond the pale.