cartoon medley #13
About The Author
Derpetologist
The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp,
Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy
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New troll level unlocked – get Taylor Switch to write a nasty song about you after you called her Slim Pickens.
I used to joke that the point of the Twatter’s was to yell at athletes when they lost you money and wish cancer upon them.
But really it’s potential is so much greater than that. You can mock world leaders, billionaires, and any celebrity you want. Even if they don’t respond, their petty egos will demand that they read it and they will let it consume them and drive their decision making.
You should only get cancer!
I second in your general direction.
I’ve had a couple answer a random question which was cool.
Ornithologists, koala, and kangaroo, WTF.
That’s ornithorhynchus, autocorrect.
Oh my!
Because of the pagination, that last one reads as Thou Not Shalt Kill. Which I guess is fine, since it doesn’t change the meaning.
“since it doesn’t change the meaning.” I believe that was the point.
You put RJ in the second toon?
Impossible to tell if that pictured alien is green or grey. Race is the most important thing.
RJ said that the Greys were well known assholes in the circles he travels.
They are known as the Buttfuckians from Uranus. And they are little naked assholes.
And yes, my résumé is damned impressive.
If your resume includes “Talent Acquisition” to find me mates, well. You should take that part off. You’ve not delivered anything, frankly.
(My girded loins are good for gals and greys, dont’cha know. Sorry, dudes. I’m just too impressive.)
So it looks like Laughing Cow has not yet revealed why the cow is not laughing.
(in case you missed it: https://finance.yahoo.com/media-advertising/articles/more-100-years-laughing-cow-153800619.html )
We should take bets on why the cow is not laughing.
Here’s some possibilities, ranked (by me) as most to least likely:
* Voting is important, democracy is under attack (by Trump/Republicans) and it is your civic duty to vote (for Democrats)
* Climate change
* Nothing political, it’s some stupid marketing stunt.
* Immigrants built this country so stop being mean to them
* Gaza
I’m betting it’s voting, based on the fact that they’re doing this right before The Most Important Election In History.
Also, I predict that the Muh Palestinians crowd will throw a shitfit if it isn’t Gaza.
Please include something about going vegan.
Turning Veganese, I think I’m turning Veganese
I really think so
RJ gets a LOL for a joke I was not expecting
Mourning the disappearance of the Land O’ Lakes Indian chick?
I guessed illegal aliens the other day when it was announced.
Those poor hardworking ‘immigrants’ make up the bulk of the workforce in the dairies, this is the line the southern Idaho dairy men use to justify their hiring of border jumpers.
I will take a vegan MRE over ham slice.
Yeah the ham was bad.
I guess you are too youbg the remember the 1st generation MRE horror show known as “Ham and Chicken Loaf”. There wasn’t enough privately purchased Tabasco to cover up that foul taste and texture.
We found some as a kid and ate a few cases of the ones in dark green bags with the freeze dried fruit and ice cream in them. I’m guessing from the late 80s as we found them in 94/95.
Most of the meals on them were bad.
That last one should be “Thou Shalt Not Kill Switch”
Agreed!
#1 might be the only viable way out of that sorry mess.
I was on the fence about putting in the alien one until I went to a comedy show on Friday featuring Jonnie W. He’s a “clean comic” so you can guess what that means. Many jokes that I think are lazy, bad, or corny get laughs, so why not try some myself?
The comedy show was in a Baptist church, and they were knives and crossbows for sale in the lobby. Really. It was a fundraiser for a charity that takes in girls from abusive homes.
The best joke he had that night was “if you can’t think of something nice to say, write it down and save it for later.”
Sell the crossbows after the show.
Not before.
Unless it was both encouragement and a threat for the comedian.
He riffed on it, so good on him. Here’s one of his specials:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXlKLu36P4M
We watch se of the Drybar stuff form time to time. He’s familiar. Not one I’ve watched an entire act though.
I’m not a comedy aficionado but Bob Newhart was “clean” and one of the funniest motherfuckers I can remember.
I haven’t seen a show since Eddie Izzard was just a transvestite.
Eddie went down hard.
Seinfeld’s clean as well.
The family’s doing a Talent Show this Friday, in part for Dad’s bday. (The porta-potty the boys made will be first displayed.) I’m thinking of a clean bit I can do in the couple minutes I have. Will likely be about the 30 v 60min lunch time debate. That’ll make sense for the kids and easily clean.
I’m not at all anti-filth in comedy and it’s often essential. But I do like leaning away from their use, just to emphasize the actual written/spoken joke ya made. “Fuck” is cheap. (inb4 $20)
I like Dmitri Martin, Mitch Hedberg, and Steven Wright. None of those guys swear much. A great joke is still funny even if you just read it.
The pronoun play in his Wikipedia article is amusing. He’s all over the map but the article is defiantly “she” because, well… whatever. It all feels like part of his act to me.
Depends on the comic and their style. Like Louis Black, Sam Kinnison, Andrew Dice Clay, or Chris Rock… take away the raunch and the whole shtick falls apart. Then there’s just certain jokes that land better with a naughty word. A good example would be Ron White in his stand up specials vs. the sanitized versions for the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Acts like Emo Phillips or Steven Wright can get by without any profanity or vulgarity at all.
Kinison is another one of the most humorous gentlemen ever, and I’ve seen him live too.
Oh mercy… another story just gets more and more batshit insane. Sign of the times, I guess.
I stopped there because it’s all just so ridiculous and tiresome and IDGAF.
Tried to pull medical tubes out of ‘them?’ Uh, in a hospital? Cuz that’s crossed into some odd criminal territory. Far too batshit, and ‘trans’ anything was just the final straw on that camel’s non-binary back.
And ya know what? I don’t know, but maybe he WAS a disgusting, queer pervert. *shrug*