IFLA: The “FWF” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of Aug 7

by | Aug 7, 2022 | IFLA | 116 comments

[Editors Note: The video embedding caused issues for people viewing the site with the Edge browser. Embedding has been removed. Links to short videos of cute dogs playing: 1, 2, 3.]

Hopefully that movie will embed.  Failing that, hopefully you can watch it on your own device.  Failing that, I apologize.  And if you don’t accept the apology then fuck you, I’ve got stars to read.

Kind of an odd week, actually.  Two days of import:  Wednesday would be a good time to have a date with the moon and Venus boosting your chances of getting lucky — though only with your legitimate partner.  No cheating!  Friday has a four-planet construction that bodes well if you’re trying to buy/build a house, but potentially catastrophic if you already own one.  Like an “impromptu remodel to add a new door/window/skylight” sort of thing.

This year has seen most of the primary signs get shafted during their months, and the trend continues.  Leo loses its lucky mojo as Mercury scoots on over to Virgo.  At the same time, Venus is hold back over in Cancer.  So Leo faces a time of not quite being able to get everything together that you’d wanted to.  The good news for Leo is that Saturn Retrograde is at its back, so that influence is, if not off the table, at least in the next room getting a refill on drinks and maybe some more cocktail meatballs.

So, let’s just take a minute to notice something about this week’s draw.  Lots of wands being drawn.  There are metaphorical interpretations of this suit, but they are all metaphoric or semantic extensions of the concrete symbolism of the suit which is:  a penis.  So many dicks this week.

Leo:  Death reversed – Birth.

Virgo:  5 of Wands (five young dudes in tights swinging “wands” at each other.  Big, girthy wands.) – Imitation, “strenuous competition, struggle.”

Libra:  The Magician – Skill, diplomacy, address, subtlety, sickness, pain, loss, disaster, snares of enemies, self-confidence, will.

Scorpio:  The Hermit reversed – Concealment, disguise, policy, fear, unreasoned caution.

Sagittarius: Knight of Coins – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude.

Capricorn:  Strength reversed – Weakness.

Aquarius:  4 of wands reversed – Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

Pisces:  6 of Wands – Triumph, great news, expectation crowned with its own desire.

Aries:  Ace of Wands reversed – Fall, decadence, ruin, perdition.

Taurus:  9 of Cups – Concord, contentment, physical bien-être, victory, success, advantage, satisfaction.

Gemini:  The Blank Card – All augurs are currently busy, please try again later.

Cancer:  3 of Swords reversed – Mental alienation, error, loss, distraction, disorder, confusion.

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

116 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    Imitation, “strenuous competition, struggle.”
    I don’t do strenuous,

  2. Don escaped Texas

    Leo: Death reversed – Birth.

    Watch this spot! – Jackie Walorski

    • Don escaped Texas

      Virgo: 5 of Wands (five young dudes in tights swinging “wands” at each other. Big, girthy wands.) – Imitation, “strenuous competition, struggle.”

      …and spending our way out of inflation! – Joe Manchin

  3. DEG

    Hopefully that movie will embed. Failing that, hopefully you can watch it on your own device. Failing that, I apologize. And if you don’t accept the apology then fuck you, I’ve got stars to read. [Editor’s Note: They didn’t magically embed themselves, sweetums, but we fixed that just for you. Embed tag.]

    I think something is still wrong with the page. I got prompted to download some videos. No embedding.

    Leo: Death reversed – Birth.

    Birth? So you’re saying I could make a living as a medical freak?

    • rhywun

      I got prompted to download some videos.

      Same. I went for it.

      • rhywun

        Uh oh.

      • rhywun

        Every time I post it downloads them again. 😕

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Same here.

      • rhywun

        I got my browser to block multiples but it’s still downloading one file every time.

      • westernsloper

        #metoo

    • Ted S.

      And no alt-text.

    • MikeS

      I think something is still wrong with the page. I got prompted to download some videos. No embedding.

      Same.

    • Penguin

      Birth? So you’re saying I could make a living as a medical freak?

      Now, everyone would just think you’re woke.

  4. Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

    Judith Durham of The Seekers just passed away:

       https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-62447650

    Everybody of a certain age hardest hit.

      • rhywun

        Goodness, that’s great.

      • Fourscore

        Great music for an old guy.

        “Don’t look back, something may be gaining on you”

        Satchel Paige

        I only have to look sideways

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        That’s an excellent audio track on that video. Lovingly re-mastered.

    • rhywun

      Anthony Albanese, Australia’s prime minister

      Another one?! I swear every time Australia comes up, there’s another PM I never heard of.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        To be fair, for most of the Western world prior to the ‘Vid, Australia only came up once every coupla years…  ;-)

  5. rhywun

    So… at the risk of downloading Lily and Dakota again… food shopping this morning was… interesting.

    Seven bucks for a dozen large eggs. One brand was on sale for five bucks.

    Coffee remains nuts – skipped it.

    Lots of my usual products were just not there, like my favorite sesame oil.

    • slumbrew

      Eggs have definitely shot up in price

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        We have supply management in Canada (Egg Marketing Board), which means we simply raise the prices before inflation even hits.

        Eggs have always been expensive here, and there are never any sales (same with dairy products, with “further processed” cheese [i.e., shredded] being the sole exception I’m aware of).

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Which gives rise to the esoteric economics joke:

        “What’s the difference between inflation and supply management? We’ll always have supply management.”

      • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

        Tabernak! Thanks, Quebec, for the expensive cheese!

    • DEG

      I grocery shopped yesterday. Prices are still going up.

      But… gas prices in southern NH are coming down. I saw a gas station which had 87 octane for less than $4/gallon.

    • Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

      Coffee remains nuts – skipped it.

      you are dead to me.

      • rhywun

        I have enough to last until next week or probably the week after.

        Oh and I forget to add the coffee selection was dramatically shrunken while the tea expanded.

  6. KK the Ignorant Slut

    The video wasn’t embedded – it actually downloaded (without my permission, I might add)

    • Gender Traitor

      Didn’t download for me as far as I can tell – using Firefox on my laptop. Maybe browser or device-specific?

  7. MikeS

    Pisces: 6 of Wands – Triumph, great news, expectation crowned with its own desire.

    It’s weeks like this when I choose to believe in astrology. Come one stars, don’t let me down!

  8. DEG

    Thanks for fixing the page!

    I watched the videos. Awww.

  9. Tonio

    VIDEO PROBLEM FIXED. I tried to do a good thing by converting his original links to embedded videos, which worked just fine for me in Firefox. After the first trouble report I tested it in Edge and experienced the downloading issue. Rather than try to troubleshoot this, I deleted the embedded videos and supplied links.

    I’m going to ask WebDom about this.

    • DEG

      FYI, I’m using Brave.

      • MikeS

        And I’m using Vivaldi. I think both of them are built on Chrome…?

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Also using Brave.

    • rhywun

      👍

      The vids are great, BTW. Thanks, Not.

      • Not Adahn

        Thank’ee

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Aw, romping!

        Caught a Great Lakes accent on one lady (“they knowww their limits”).

  10. DEG

    The Irish coffee I had tasted so good I’m having another for dessert.

    • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

      brave man

      • DEG

        It’s tasty.

      • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

        Fuck it, I’m having a can of Rainier. My vitamin R levels are critically low.

  11. 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

    “physical bien-être”

    and here I thought this was merely a hangover.

  12. westernsloper

    Gemini: The Blank Card

    What a gyp.

    • Don escaped Texas

      I’m burning to know what it means! – Anne Heche

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Just means you make your own fortune this week.

      I’ll take it.

  13. Not Adahn

    Back from the steel match. Had a good stage, but holy hell the weather. It’s like Louisiana out there.

    • Not Adahn

      I ran most of the shooters, and was using that model of timer where you need to reset it to the first shot before starting the next shooter.

      It was fascinating to see how over the course of the day, that first shot out of the holster took longer. By a lot. First stage, most people were in the 1-1.5 second range by the last it was 2-3 seconds.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Its so humid my discs are leaving contrails

      • Not Adahn

        Enough moisture was condensing inside my glasses to run down the lenses.

    • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

      Humidity is the worst. I’ll take -20F any day of the week over hot and humid.

      • robc

        Back in KY today…humidity sucks.

    • Sean

      My pepper plants are not happy.

      Plus, it’s quite windy.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Knight of Coins – Utility, serviceableness, interest, responsibility, rectitude.

    *fear, uncertainty and dread*

    • The Other Kevin

      Rectitude? Nearly killed ‘em.

  15. robc

    In the battle to determine the best nation in the world, Uzbekistan defeated Armenia to take over 1st in Chess Olympiad. US defeated Greece and is toed for 4th. Two rounds to go.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    “What’s the difference between inflation and supply management? We’ll always have supply management.”

    *golf clap*

  17. The Late P Brooks

    The Irish coffee I had tasted so good I’m having another for dessert.

    While wearing your cleanest dirty shirt?

    • DEG

      🙂

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      I’m calling it — Sean’s actually a billionaire.

      • Sean

        There has never been any A5 wagyu on my Corelle.

        😞

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        It’s overrated. I had an A5 wagyu strip steak flown in from Japan using I think it was crowd cow. Steak looked as nice in person as any marketing picture and was perfectly cooked.

        It was damn good, but not close to being worth the price tag. Even at the same price, I’m prefer a prime strip over the A5 wagyu.

  18. Grummun

    AR glibs: need advice re: red dot/reflex sight.

    1) Open frame (like Vortex Viper) or tube (like Vortex Spitfire)?
    2) Do I care if it “co-witnesses” with the flip up iron sights?

    I’m not looking for magnification, and I’m trying to keep this in the low hundreds. I am not willing to pay for can’t afford a real holographic sight.

  19. hayeksplosives

    ~blockquote> Aries: Ace of Wands reversed – Fall, decadence, ruin, perdition.

    Oh, man! I was hoping to get an offer for that internal job transfer this week.

    • hayeksplosives

      But my html tagging is my downfall.

      • Not Adahn

        I just found out that there is such a thing as an embed tag.

  20. DEG

    I guess I’m not going to work outside today. It is pouring rain.

    • MikeS

      Good thing you started drinking early.

      • DEG

        Heh. This will be it until the local liberty meet-up later today.

    • hayeksplosives

      It’s monsoon season here in the Mojave. Thunderstorms blossom from nowhere and are rather small and concentrated, so they can rain on your neighbors but not on you and Vice Versa.

      The flash flooding is the main peril. They had to shut down Death Valley and called on Pahrumpians and other nearby communities to bring off-road worthy vehicles with cranes and towing to help rescue 1000 tourists who were trapped in the Valley. Kinda nuts!

  21. hayeksplosives

    Why do children scream like tortured banshees when they get in a swimming pool?

    I went outside for a relaxing float/meditation in my pool, and the neighbors (who are at least 100 yards away) have their grandkids over, and it seems that they are being tortured.

    Not peaceful. Back in the house!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Meh it’s fun. I will take kids screaming outside while actually doing an activity than screaming inside at a screen. But I get it.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yeah, I enjoy the sound of happy children, in general. The timing on this one was just not ideal.

        So I went inside and taught my 8week old kitten how to play with a wand toy!

        He took tentative swipes at it at first, then got on his back and used all four paws to “get” the toy (a wide satin ribbon with a jingle bell on the end) and bite it while kicking it to death.

        He’s going to be a bruiser.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Have you tried the flopping fish? My mom’s cats don’t care but the dog likes it.

      • MikeS

        Our cats loooooove the flopping fish.

      • hayeksplosives

        I bought a flopping fish for my previous cat (a female medium hair calico) and she was thoroughly unimpressed so I gave it to my niece for her cat.

        I suppose it’s an individual preference thing, like how some cats are transfixed by nature documentaries and others don’t even seem to process the on-screen images at all.

      • Mojeaux

        I’ve had cats who, in varying degrees, did or did not like catnip.

      • whiz

        So I take it your kitten emerged after going AWOL. Was it food? That can be a good enticement.

      • whiz

        Whoops, I just saw your post below.

    • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

      Whoa everyone! Rich Aunt Moneybags over here can afford a pool!

  22. Yusef drives a Kia

    I got so much bug spray on me I smell like Bhupal India,
    and Im wearing tick collars.

  23. Tundra

    Lily and Dakota seem pretty evenly matched!

    Leo: Death reversed – Birth.

    Appropriate one for today. Thanks!

    • MikeS

      How was vacay? Where’d ya go?

      • Tundra

        It was fantastic! We went to WA state and visited the three National Parks there. Whirlwind trip but we saw a ton of cool stuff, did a bunch of amazing hikes and spent some great time together.

        Best of all, I unplugged completely for a week. No news, no anything. WWIII could have started and I would have been blissfully unaware until the bombs hit!

      • MikeS

        That’s great. The unplugging sounds good. I need to try that just to see if I’m able to do it. I worry about how often I peek at my phone sometimes.

        Is National Parks a thing with you guys, or it just seemed like a good goal for this trip?

      • Tundra

        It’s easier than you think. Takes a day to break the habit. Avoiding this place was far and away the most difficult!

        Yes, the NPs have become a thing with us. We stayed when the kids were little and are up to like 21 now. We even have a big map in our office with pins for all the ones we’ve visited.

        I know a lot of people think they are too crowded, etc, but I can assure you that there are ways to tackle them that make for an amazing experience.

      • DEG

        Excellent

      • Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

        The PNW is beautiful, year round.

      • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

        Have you been to Wrangell – St. Elias yet?

        If all falls into place and water levels hold, I’m doing the Slana road this fall.

      • Tundra

        Not yet, but it’s definitely on my list. It’s gonna have to be a longer trip, of course!

        I’ll be interested to hear about your trip!

      • 61North (Dunphy's sockpuppet)

        I went to McCarthy about this time last year and had a blast. The whole Copper River basin is just incredible. The drive into Glennallen with Mt. Drum looming in the distance cannot be beat.

        I’d move out there if I could swing it with my job.

    • Not Adahn

      They take turns losing.

  24. hayeksplosives

    I found NuKitty. He managed to crawl up the back of a tall dresser and install himself into the second drawer.

    Now he is next to me on the guest bed, pawing at me.

    • DEG

      Good you found him.

    • MikeS

      That’s funny. One of our shop cats loves to climb the walls anywhere there is a vertical “tunnel” Like behind the fridge, or between the pegboard and the wall.

      • Not an Economist

        My parents once had a cat that liked to climb trees and ladders. And meow for you to get her down. My dad normally ignored her when she did that except when she climbed a 32 foot step ladder onto our slate roof. Then he climbed up and got her. He wasn’t happy stretching out to get her.

    • Gender Traitor

      Nestled cozily amongst Mummy’s unmentionables? 😉

      • hayeksplosives

        Actually on one of daddy’s kilts!!

      • Gender Traitor

        What clan? That might tell you NuKitty’s name!

  25. Zwak. And once again, the mall is his Waterloo

    Aquarius: 4 of wands reversed – Prosperity, increase, felicity, beauty, embellishment.

    So, a chance a married man can achieve bliss?